99 Percent Mine Quotes
"Nobody taught me this when I first started as a bartender, but luckily, I was a quick learner: When a group of men are walking in, you should work out which one is the alpha."
"If you play your cards right, things could get downright exhilarating."
"My name is Darcy and he’s unknowingly made a Jane Austen joke."
"I imagine a Ken doll left out in the sun too long, and I step on that soft tan head like it’s a cigarette."
"Sambuca shots," one guy shouts. Naturally. The elixir of morons."
"My grandmother Loretta said once that if you know how to pour a drink into a glass, you can get a job anywhere."
"I’ve been told I have impulse control problems."
"Weddings are romantic. And you aren’t romantic."
"I laugh in response to that. I’ve given up on feeling anything with a man."
"Every single time I see you, I can’t believe you’re not a kid anymore. Look at you."
"Imagine my relief that Darcy Barrett had just cut her plait off. You went to a barbershop?"
"The sound of the scissors going through it... It sounded like he was hacking through sinew."
"If I’d been up on a roof, I would have ended up in traction. Instead, I went out and drank twenty toasts to the beautiful couple. It was a bender eight years in the making."
"That entire year was one massive vomit, and the taste is still in my mouth."
"One second is all it takes to get my heartbeat flipping like a fish in a net."
"I don’t accept your apology. You never called me yourself, you jerk."
"I’m not a particularly petite woman, but he makes me feel like I’m soft. Little and light. A princess."
"You’re fire," Tom says back without thought. "You’re opposites."
"I thought that having just 1 percent of Tom Valeska's heart feels like hitting the jackpot, but I think I was wrong. It’s now not enough."
"If you were mine, I wouldn’t like it. You know what I’m like, though."
"What’s the big deal? I trust you. I’m sure it’s fair."
"I was eighteen, putting black platforms on over my fishnets to go hang out with a bad crowd, and Tom had leaned on my door frame and asked me not to go out."
"You’re going to get diabetes," he says faintly. "Or rot your perfect teeth right out of your head."
"I’m standing in the exact same place that Tom Valeska stood naked."
"If I think about the fact that I won the Rosburgh Portrait Prize when I was twenty, I get a shake in my hand and have to redo the set."
"I have lost my goddamn mind in a short period of time."
"Like she could press a button on the side and a white lightsaber would come out."
"You are so similar to your grandmother that it’s scary."
"Who could relax around me, the ticking time bomb?"
"I wouldn’t want something like that. I’d want something like Loretta’s ring: a black sapphire."
"Now that he knows how badly I want it, that ring is worth more than the Mona Lisa."
"Mugs don’t complain. They don’t have little mental breakdowns and ruin their mascara. They don’t write reviews online."
"I’m the person most likely to have a thousand dollars’ worth of sex toys in her dining room."
"He smells like he always has: a blown-out birthday candle, sharp and smoky."
"I’ve got hungry skin. All I ever want is someone touching me."
"Maybe I should be holding on to people I love with white-knuckled intensity."
"If leaving were a sport, I’d be a Hall of Famer."
"Being messed with by Darcy Barrett? It sounds like she’s joking with me, but it feels like she’s telling the truth. And I never know which is right."
"We broke up about four months ago. I told your family that I’d tell you in person."
"Okay. Fair enough. That’s probably smart, actually."
"Next time I see you, you can’t make me feel shitty about this. Pretend it didn’t happen."
"I will lie on her couch until the day I die."
"The urge to ask her if she has been to the doctor is almost overpowering me."
"I’m going to give your number to a girl I work with, Holly."
"If you ever double-sell again, I’ll draft the email and cancel the orders."
"I haven’t seen the colors of sunrise in a long, long time."
"I love you," I whisper to the house. "Thank you. I’m sorry."
"You’re driving me insane with your skin and your sweat."
"You seriously don’t know you’re sexy, do you?"
"I’ve told you in every way I could. Even when I shouldn’t have."
"It makes him look at me like he loves me again, and that’s why pizza is the greatest."
"I’ve met a lot of men, all over the world, and Tom’s the best. Without a doubt, he is the best man."
"It’s got to be the stress that’s turning him into an animal."
"He’s the only one who’s ever made my stomach flip."
"If you knew the things I knew, you wouldn’t sleep. Not even in a bed like yours."
"Must be nice to just leave when things get hard. Some of us don’t have that luxury."
"You might be able to answer this one," Alex starts. "What’s with the Chihuahua? We’ve never worked it out."
"Your obsession with lace has destroyed my sanity."
"Every single time I’ve thought about this mystery piercing I’ve walked into a wall."
"You probably won’t anyway, after all I’m going to do with you."
"My heart swells with love. He’s the best possible guy."
"Please, please. Enthusiastic yes. Pitiful begging, et cetera."
"You and your beautiful skin have been haunting me for years."
"I have no experience being truthful or soft in bed, but I have to try."
"Lucky I'm in bed with the world's hardest worker."
"Oh fuck. You feel like the world's most perfect man."
"Thanks," he says with affection. "You feel like a dream come true."
"Don't you worry about anything," he suggests, sliding his hand down. "Just relax and breathe."
"I'm okay, but if I get too overheated or if you press me down, I'll start to feel all dizzy and claustrophobic."
"You're too important," Jamie tells me in a hush, like it's our secret and not even Tom is supposed to hear it.
"Now, that's what I've waited for," he says after several minutes of trying to breathe.
"You never did have to care about money. I have to care."
"You're the one girl I never in a million years thought I'd get."
"Hold on for me just a little longer. Please."
"You think you can stop doing that to me for another three months? You think we can just pretend?"
"You’ve got everything wrong. I’m not going anywhere."
"I don’t care what it is. I don’t care if she’s still got her ring. If the wedding is back on. If you’re already married. It won’t stop me from loving you."
"I would reply with sarcasm but I hear the fear in his voice."
"You’re not going to be cut out. Nothing changes, except for me and Tom."
"I’ve chased him as far as the corner of Simons Street when I lose all power, and in his rearview mirror if he looked he’d see me doubled over, cursing my heart, cursing myself."
"I can’t bear this. He’s just dropped completely off the grid."
"We love him. We just want him back. We’ll make sure we earn him this time."
"We’re both psychopaths about—Money and freedom."
"We haven’t lost either of them, not really. They’re both just... taking a holiday. It’s okay. We’ll make it right."
"You’ve never dated anyone you could love, because you didn’t want anything to threaten how you feel for me."
"It’s why you’ve treated me all these years like protecting me is your job."
"Putting up with my brother, just to sleep a wall away from me and put your toothbrush next to mine."
"Another man’s diamond on my hand is your worst nightmare."
"I want the name Valeska on me so bad I could scream, and I think he knows it from the way he’s looking at me."
"You earn me daily. Come on. You know I give you everything you want. Just relax. Let me spoil Darcy Barrett a little, for the rest of her life. Let me get a taste of that feeling."