"We're the funniest nation in the world, we got the best vibes!"
"For most of you that aren't aware of what 'bins' is, it's Big Irish Nut Syndrome, and you know, many of us Irish men suffer with this affliction with these big cojones."
"Do not Americans realize that the United States is literally a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi nice to each other in order to sneak into the big boy because be honest that's just what the USA is."
"Asians might be the closest related to aliens."
"The Flintstones had it figured out. They wore ties even though they didn't have pants."
"What cracks me about New Yorkers is that they go to LA and try to get a bacon egg and cheese."
"I think the Jewish people are very, very funny. I think there is something about the experiences that they have had generally as a culture that has refined their sense of humor down to a a rapier's point."
"When I met Ted in 1988, I had no word to describe him, but only because I didn’t speak German. Thank you Germans, for ‘Backpfiefengesicht‘."
"Oh Latvia, you're like the most adorable Horror Show ever."
"White people taco night is awesome because it's ground beef, though boys love ground beef."
"Our people are British but our cows are Irish."
"Father Ted's sharp-witted, silly, surrealistic, and even slapstick humor encapsulates a certain essence of Irish culture for outsiders."
"Morocco is winning the World Cup, huh? Next week, bro. U.S. California, not England, bro. Connecticut."
"I think I'm British because I know geography, I know presidents. I don't know superheroes, and I got horrible teeth."
"If the American states could be looked at as a dysfunctional family then Florida would be the weird uncle who once ran away with the circus and wrestled a tiger."
"British man discovers food with actual flavor in America, and news at 11."
"The UK always has a good sense of humor about their stuff - or used to."
"Americans and the steam foreigners visiting our Bountiful lands." - "Hello, I'm unsung comedy Legend Robert Mack."
"She live in the south but she in the South, okay she on the west coast [ __ ] okay."
"I love it when an Englishman goes abroad and eats the type of [ __ ] he would have if he was at home."
"This week everyone's not white our kid is going to rip a lobster in half and we're like that's the example officer pause it look how [ __ ] thick that red oh my God yeah watch the full."
"After the world ends the only thing that will be left will be telecasters and Keith Richards here to play them."
"It's crazy the rules tend to follow the money Europeans might actually need a pill for the headache all those ads give them may cause drowsiness loose evil and telepathic powers and a violent hatred of cheese."
"You ever do it, you ever go to the mountains, you don't start talking like The Beverly Hillbillies now, yeah."
"It's not us reenacting the Ludacris 'we got hoes in every area code.'"
"They said that the German humor is all based on the bathroom, and French humor is all based on the bedroom, but Jewish humor is all based on the mind."
"Hope you enjoyed that little excursion into the depths of Sicilian nonsense."
"Instead of being two minutes late, I was eight minutes late, like, black people late."
"I've learned how funny Ukrainians are, how they have an incredibly dark sense of humor."
"What's more evil, Santa or elves? Elves. Elf on a shelf."
"Comedy: no one does sarcasm or self-deprecating humor quite like us!"
"Being English, you're just looking out the window saying, 'It wasn't supposed to rain today.' That's what being English is."
"You know, my wife's German. Now, why don't you Germans go ahead and knock yourself out, trying to figure that one out."
"Being with my mother was Puerto Rican so you know have a Puerto Rican mother you know you [ __ ] up they'll get you."
"You've ever tutted in a queue worn an anorak on your summer holiday just in case or apologize to an inanimate object then you are suffering from very British problems and you are not alone."
"Ultra French: Canadian French was 149% French, so it was more French than French itself."
"That's the most stereotypical Canadian thing about the Canadian military, that we use maple syrup to fix all things."
"If you're fine afterwards, you're not Russian. This is amazing."
"In Russia, Superman don't save us, we save Superman."
"There's no one scarier than an Indian Auntie."
"I'm just joking, my husband is Portuguese; it's a kind of thing that we do at home, we try to compete to see which port is more important."
"Can you imagine going to Walmart and they're like, 'Oh thank you so much, arigato, here's your receipt,' and they're bowing? No, that would not happen."
"The sarcastic take on King Arthur's court shows how much the French love to make fun of the English."
"I was born in Iran, I sometimes like the joke that I come from a long line of lukewarm Muslims and exuberant atheists."
"This is called a dishwasher. To all the Asians who don't know what this is, if your mom put black tape over these buttons like my mom did, you'll understand the struggle of not being able to use this."
"Maine is known for its common-sense approach to handling many different problems: hard-working people, innovation, and a quirky sense of humor."
"Bostonian here, Chris's sense of humor is like many Bostonians' dark humor."
"In America, pretty much anything can fly, just don't chew with your mouth open."
"You cut your spaghetti? Why do you do this? You know this is illegal in Italy, right?"