"Wrinkle care can happen overnight. I can go to sleep 28 years old and wake up Benjamin Button."
"So Germany and then next week is America, perfect. She's gonna take over the world."
"It's just not gonna happen; Bono is the reincarnation of Lev Yashin or whatever other legendary goalkeeper you want to talk about."
"Mega Mind, I'm willing to die bro, I'm willing to die if that means I have to stop watching this movie."
"I'm about to sue you, Minecraft. I'm not even kidding. Can I sue a game for being unbelievably mean to me? Because I'm about to, I'm a bouncing madman. Sue's game for being really unfair with diamonds, it just wouldn't work."
"Listen, straight up gotta be one of the best drippers I've ever seen come from anywhere, including outer space."
"Every piece of furniture in this house, including the house itself, destroyed by the cats."
"Last night they were like I cannot [ __ ] wait to get back to the office tomorrow and slap my boss."
"We're gonna become guppy one slap at a time."
"Following the same rule, Taylor Swift dying her hair black was an attack to me and every people in the world with black hair." - Little Oreo
"The sun might have exploded but I'm still trying to live, baby."
"I made like a billion dollars in like two minutes and I was like oops."
"My giblet gravy is so good, I could drink that gravy on a flip-flop by itself."
"Those boots let you move so freaking fast to make you look like freaking sanic!"
"The mayor of Detroit should be giving me a medal!"
"Animal shelter volunteer with a massive heart of gold and magical weight-loss powers"
"Walking to the thermostat has never been the same."
"Knowing that there's a woman involved you got you know got to save the women and children even though our children are barbecue chicken."
"Don't you hate it, but Chuck Norris is constantly trying to destroy you. He must do it, he simply must."
"You look like you're about to just make like 12 over easy eggs in open hand slapping your wife this morning."
"Damn, boy, that boy kicked up a million rocks! I'm legally blind!"
"I'm going for ten... eight, and that's about eight more than I can do in real life."
"Sometimes I feel like somebody's watching me. 666666. I mean seriously, we don't need this."
"I need dude I need more ovens I definitely need more ovens."
"This empire needs to be fully enchanted in diamond armor, excuse me house horse, there is only one problem."
"We will get to this soap factory if it's the last thing I do in my life."
"This weapon mod it would even have E.T. rubbing his tiny alien nipples with his weird giant fingers."
"I have never been this knee-deep in marijuana in my entire life. I'm literally kind of drowning in plants here."
"Every tech person keeps two pieces of technology in their house: a printer, and a Unabomb to blow up that printer if it ever makes any noise."
"That is amazing, I literally can't even right now. I can't even worse than a teenage girl at Starbucks."
"When in doubt, drop a bunch of nukes on it, I'm sure everything will be just fine."
"Honestly, I'm just too tanky, actually Deathfire Touch kill me."
"This bedroom is not going to be the biggest I guess you're making your kids bedroom small mine's like 12 acre like a giant Fortress bedroom."
"That's a serious thing to say about a truck."
"She scared the Prince away with her face alone."
"Wow, this is incredible. Shiny, shiny goodness. It's bigger than Miss Pinky's head!"
"This disc looks new, it smells new, I just want to eat it! Oh, but you can't eat it."
"We're gonna make it comically big again... but we're gonna try."
"Item level is everything. It doesn't matter if your trinket shoots purple rubber dildos that do zero damage."
"I thought that what they wanted to do so it's like we're gonna bei don't want to kill any of the girls and we're gonna like break the boyfriend in half nope he lives everyone lives."
"I know I'm not the only one that's like bro this not making sense you just tried to put one in one to get 13 but instead it's still didn't add up bro you got like negative 30,000 it it's you're reaching."
"Sit back, relax, pour yourself a cup of tea, a coffee, a beer... get yourself four gallons of candy floss, glowing magic candy from spa together, I guess they could do."
"I mourn Leonard Burton with all my heart and my liver and kidneys, with the bones of my toes and with my bellybutton." - Cecil Palmer
"I think it's safe to say that we have successfully broken Baldi's basics and probably the entire world."
"You can't handle my potions, they are too strong for you."
"Sonic.exe is the worst roommate of all time."
"100% you're gonna feel the difference whether you believe that you've got the 98 ass power or infinity 9 ass power."
"There's nothing to fear, there's a perfectly good burger under my bed and another one on the roof, so really, I've got nothing to worry about."
"We're definitely right there next to the Bible." - Jerry Duggan
"All women want to sleep with me, I have brainwashed myself."
"99.9 percent of my thoughts go to me and the .001 percent go to me."
"Wow, there's like 10 to 15 minutes put into that. Literally dozens of minutes."
"I would eat Ding Dongs for every meal if you sent them to me for free."
"Using the Aquarium Co-op towel makes your fish look better. It also makes your hair look better."
"If you need a lot of money, you probably have super monkey."
"Truth offers to lie down for him and you're like yeah true that it's Noble because you did rate you did literally ruin his wedding a wedding that he spent a lot of his mother-in-law's money on."
"You could hide a full-grown labrador retriever up one of those legs."
"Cars start piling up, people crash into each other, some NPCs start flipping out, driving off ledges, getting out of their cars, yelling, fires start, explosions happen, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria."
"My credit card company is gonna have so many questions..."
"Freemasons don't care to rule the world; we rule the universe."
"I just drank chocolate milk and I feel so powerful I'm gonna smash my monitor."
"I have 10 love knives, that's ridiculous! That is too many love knives! I need... I have 10 love knives and zero godly knives, zero death blades! If I could get the death blade, could I at least get the plasmoid?"
"I fear I may have girl boss too close to the Sun." - Dylan Mulvaney
"It's funny, it's just like, oh right after so much effort, just hours, like marathons, it's like you're burning 10,000 calories."
"I don't like to use the word hero often but I think what I just did is nothing shy of one of the bravest acts mankind is possible of accomplishing."
"He might be the first bastard to ever have half his brains eaten by a wolf and end up more intelligent."
"It's not even 50% of the time, it works all the time."
"I couldn't even fit in a bag, but let's take a look at what I found."
"At this point, he goes full-on diabetes Hulk."
"Finding a 135 that thing's 20 like you're not that much bigger than the belt."
"I'm gonna go get some bleach and pour it into my eyes now."
"Luckily, the sword is an effective weapon against an entire swarm of 1,000 bees."
"It's a lucky thing I had my pieces, your pieces, my gun. Oh anyway, I started blasting."
"Why not? What's better than one giant hammer? Two giant hammers."
"This has got to be the most gigachad junk I've ever seen in my life."