"I am going to eat literal time and space itself."
"Congratulations, you just clicked on the best video in the entire world."
"When you look at a water lily... what Monet is doing is doing hyperbole, doing peak shift, but in color space, not in form."
"Who knew it was possible to be so sweet you can turn into a cavity and die."
"We've officially made over one quintillion dollars, otherwise known as one Cutie."
"Jesus Christ, that's like almost a tenth of a college textbook in a single card."
"This next election is the only election that has ever mattered, and the country is over if we don't win."
"It should be illegal for someone to look this good!"
"It's something that makes me want to bleach my eyes, genuinely."
"A good friend will help you move, but a best friend will help you move a body."
"The entire purpose is to hit a golf ball so hard that it leaves the planet at light speed, it destroys the sun."
"Forget raining men, it's raining seagulls in this town."
"Literally a money printer, an automatic money printer."
"It's going to be a god emperor landslide absolute Trump victory. Greenland pledges allegiance to the United States under Donald Trump and don't you forget it."
"Americans are literally being slaughtered in the streets."
"If Patrick Stewart talks to you for 30 seconds, all your mental illness goes away."
"Newcastle could be a million nil, it's unbelievable."
"It's not tea, it's not chai, it's nectar of the gods."
"I love them so much I would happily dropkick my own gran in the teeth if I thought she'd drop a pair of gloves that I particularly wanted."
"Humanity's on the brink of potentially being canceled."
"That's actually the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life."
"Trump broke people's brains. People have lost their damn minds."
"This would be the grandest heist of an election that has literally ever happened."
"We have actually castrated a lot of men...can you imagine the land of the Vikings suddenly we have no men left?"
"It's so crazy that this is the polar game... Wall Street is certainly got over its skis."
"This is obviously the greatest draft of all time."
"Make sure you kill, murder, and smash that subscribe!"
"The end of days is approaching and the moons turn to blood, but on the Andrew Klavan Show, that's where the fun just gets started."
"You'd have more liquid cash than most billionaires."
"The left has gone completely, utterly bat bleep insane."
"You can make more than just fried foods in the air fryer, including baked goods."
"Next up we got Zach, he's actually won every gold medal that there's ever been."
"It's definitely good enough to make a grown man cry."
"Tactical nuke inbound, I just juiced myself up nuke into the nuke, launch the zombies!"
"Every other video you will watch on the internet in the future will pale in comparison to this video right here."
"This cat has kept more promises in ten months than Obama broke over the course of eight years."
"Two maniacs with nuclear warheads bragging about who has the bigger button."
"A journey of a billion miles will require 31 steps."
"Teenagers have destroyed the world despite the world's best efforts."
"The average person would need to work full-time for over a million years and they still wouldn't be as wealthy as Elon Musk."
"Trump was the apotheosis of all evil on earth."
"A giant golden oven mitt that would be used by a purple sociopath to kill off half the universe."
"You're just gonna like kill everybody here just for me? That's so nice."
"It's the most disaster disaster wedding ever."
"Imagine popping in an Adderall and going to a Jojo Siwa show, that would be [ __ ] insane."
"AI will always think the Republican running is a Hitler this time next time time after."
"Messi is not human, much like alien, no doubt."
"That's the biggest fish that they can fry though in the rioting."
"We may be witnessing the birth of the first real-life super villain."
"It's kind of interesting... it's probably the best thing we've ever done."
"As pundits, we like to use hyperbole a lot. Mike just used some, I'm probably gonna use some."
"Peak enjoyment, literally busting a nut dude."
"I SAID THIS WILL BE THE BIGGEST SPORTING EVENT IN OUR LIFETIME."
"One of the greatest trade deals in the history of deals."
"No one comes up to you with a gun and says, 'Hey bro, I need you to get into ten thousand dollars of debt right now.'"
"The right is jumping the shark right now by kind of like losing their skulls over Taylor Swift."
"My income is the biggest store in the world."
"I would commit multiple felonies to have even one bite of a Carolina barbecue pulled pork sandwich right now."
"Not a single thing on planet earth beats bread and butter. Oh yeah, no, not medicine, not sunshine."
"The killings have already begun. Democrats are out there killing Republicans."
"Well everybody knows that joe biden is is the healthiest president I've ever had exactly exactly very much that is a fiddle."
"We're trying to save the country from literally becoming an all-out Banana Republic."
"One million layers, say it with us. One. Million. Layers."
"The Democrats are gone, they're so far left I can't even see them anymore."
"The peace of the republic literally is at stake."
"Yesterday was the most important day in American history." - Ben Shapiro
"This game is absolutely pumped up to the max. It's like pumping up a football and you think it's gonna burst, it's so exciting."
"Napoleon Total War game on crack. On crack cocaine, baby!"
"I'm so strong that no one can even affect me you can't hit me you can't key blast me you literally can't do anything and even if you did it wouldn't even affect me like that is terrifying to think about."
"It's not that his opinions are good, his opinions are insanely idiotic and totally ridiculous."
"I swear to god it was the longest week of my life."
"You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food and buckets and maybe slavery."
"Everything Joe Biden touches turns to crap. Every single thing." - Ben Shapiro
"It made for an epic payday, and that epic payday was soon reflected epically on the balance sheets."
"He loves them, right? 'I love all of you. I love all of New York so much that I killed off all of your grandparents and parents, but I really love you.'" - Sarah Gonzalez
"He's the best player of all time. Absolutely not questionable, scored the most goals in history. Nice, oh is that how you define them?"
"Mac Studio with M1 Ultra takes performance to a whole other dimension. It's Mars. It takes you to Mars."
"If you don't like this match then you don't have a soul."
"Standing in front of her was the most beautiful man she had ever seen."
"Welcome to the best damn movie news show in the entire galaxy!"
"Coffee cups will protect pedestrians from literally bullets. It's insane."
"Caleb Williams is the greatest quarterback of all time."
"The room starring Tommy was so is the greatest movie of all time full stop."
"This brand obviously goes into 'Selling My First Born.'"
"FA store is like Universal Studios on crack."
"Right, do you want another one, another one that will rip your heart out, stamp on it, run it over with a car, and then crash into it with a meteor from space? 'Cause that's what, that's what this is."
"The Academy Awards and the Emmys are cancelled because they're all gonna go to this series anyways."
"JK Rowling just dropped trousers and planted her dusty cooter on a papyrus and peed all over it."
"Ever since I've been doing that, dude, I have been Unstoppable. I won 400 Mario Kart championships. I'm the top player in the US. I got like 300 sponsorships and I'm a billionaire."
"It would be like Oppenheimer granting an export license on the nuke to Russia."
"Would you look at that, it just divided by zero and it breaks the entire universe as we know it."
"I think it's safe to say we just watched Deion Sanders become the greatest player of all freaking time."
"The best damn movie late show on the planet Earth!"
"There are 11 books, because if you say more than 11 as a hyperbole people are all like actually brookie it's 11."
"The man that has accomplished more than anyone ever."
"That just doesn't sound real, it sounds like a cartoon."
"Maga is the greatest movement in the history ever of the entire world."
"It's considered by many of America's step-uncles to be the biggest scandal in presidential history."
"The left has gone absolutely ape bleep about this. I mean they have gone insane about this."
"If we don't say this is the greatest movie ever made, not the greatest Marvel movie, but the greatest movie ever made, I don't want to hear what you got to say."
"What a game changer, holy cow, this heater is insane."
"Money would have been flowing like crazy and our economy, you know it's always struggling or Tanked, how about it's in the black and can't come out of the black for a change."
"It's time we move past storytelling altogether, abolish all films and television shows and burn all books."
"These guys don't even play by the same laws of gravity that we do."
"I just don't understand... the government is literally the Donald Trump of administration of Israel times 10 in terms of how bad they are."
"If these are going to be what the denizens of the overworld are going to look like, I might die of a cuteness heart attack."
"You must be out of your goddamn mind if you think the president is gonna bring the nation to the brink of meddling in the middle of a military nest."
"Our democracies on the line, this guy Trump keeps talking about Adolf Hitler, he's talking about poisoning the blood."
"This dude's next level, he's the next level."
"Marjorie Taylor Green is like the NFL of being an unhinged Facebook mom."
"What's the point of shooting enormous death spikes out of your eyes if you don't actually shoot enormous death spikes out of your eyes?"
"The United States is not in danger of becoming Venezuela next week but we are moving closer to it."
"Oh my god, guys, did you hear that? If you've ever used a cell phone, you're a criminal."
"It's just beyond a joke, it's just getting ridiculous."
"That's something you would not see in a million years."
"You are limited only by your imagination and the blood spouting from your fingers."
"Ladies and gentlemen, the smartest person on the entire planet."
"Any invading forces that come to Chicago guess what we got bullets and they shoot right through your your your head."
"The content you're gonna see in this video is insane, like legitimately insane."
"The true next-gen experience has begun. Bug snacks looks like World of Warcraft, oh my god."
"Our country will be a ninth world country, not a third world country, a ninth world country."
"If looks could kill, she would have planted me within seconds of the ceremony ending."
"This is a hundred and ten percent of patriotism"
"Love always finds a way, I will travel the galaxies for you."
"I love your nice lips, sparkly white like the early gates of heaven."
"People are gonna die to come back to eat this food."
"Car of the year first place. I hope I have died and that driving this car is the afterlife because nothing could be closer to heaven."
"No likes if I had to drink for every time a character wouldn't turn on the goddamn lights I'd be [ __ ] dead of alcohol poisoning."
"It's gonna be so good it's gonna be bananas."
"He'd rise so far they'd have to coin a new word to describe him: Emperor."
"One of the greatest pieces of cinema to ever walk this earth."
"Trump derangement syndrome has hit levels now that are beyond anything any of us could even have comprehended."
"My, oh my, the potential is, I'm gonna say it, quite literally infinite."
"My top five is Drake, Drake, Drake, Drake, Drake. God."
"One Nikola Tesla is frankly worth an infinite number of dollars above engineers."
"Mallet's gonna throw for maybe a hundred thousand passing yards"
"Nearly one in five said he went so far that he threatened American democracy. Oh, calm down, it was bad, it was bad."
"Coconut Mall is Humanity's greatest achievement to date."
"Getting rid of half of all life in the universe in one fell swoop is a career highlight if you're a supervillain."
"I think is gonna be the best this kind under sever bishops may be the craziest."
"Here is like butter. It's not possible to drop this."
"We're very close to World War Three, but again, we're all crazy, right?"
"I have fixed America, everybody is healthy, there is no crime, there is no unemployment, there is no pollution."
"If this ending doesn't make you feel anything, check your pulse because I'm sure you have no heart."
"Trump promised his supporters he would 'return in some form, possibly the form of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man,' then flattened the Capitol building as he stomped off into the sunset."
"That's pretty epic to be honest he gonna change the name to the Suns son's oh that's gonna be crazy."
"He literally is an absolute National Treasure; he is the king of the outdoors."
"The Emoji Movie is the worst thing in the history of anything ever."
"If Connor becomes a banker, then everything wrong in the world is happening."
"Everything around me went very quiet, to the point where you could have heard a pin drop. It was so quiet."
"So much for immunity bro, literally yeah he was a hundred percent murdered today."
"Roy Keane is not this erratic bad man who bites the heads off kittens in his sleep."
"He could cure cancer and people would still be mad at him."
"Without safe secure elections, the country could cease to exist."
"Cash is bad and it's all terrorism... It's complete nonsense."
"Bitcoin fixes every economic problem of everyone that adopts it."
"The creme de la creme is 'six out of five stars'."
"Welcome back, indeed. This is the second-best show on planet Earth, facts."
"People are really writing about this book as if it's some modern-day Mein Kampf against migration."
"I would die for this [__] dude I'm not joking."
"If I had to pick a date for the next recession, it would be sometime in 2020."
"The most significant human on earth in a thousand years. I would give him my house if he wanted it. I would be honored. [Expletive]."
"Did we just unlock the greatest offensive team of all time by starting Lonzo?"
"Wow, you are literally the best person in existence. Never punched a nun."
"I've killed a few three-year-olds... sometimes you gotta stop 'em early."
"If you want to fight against the country, you need an F-15."
"If you have to appeal to Hitler or Nazis, you automatically lost the argument. The main reason being the Nazis are a joke."
"Now everyone's a Nazi, everything is far right. It's become ridiculous."
"Legend legend. Super legends, you know what I mean."
"It's not like they have real Nazis to fight, they invent Nazis."
"They have made us the police for this, which is bananas."
"Nothing suspicious here, you're just walking across my lawn and suddenly you end up in prison."
"It tastes like blood from an angel's sacrifice."
"It's like getting a Ferrari and asking, 'Is it good enough for driving around my suburb?' Oh yeah, it's definitely good enough."
"That was a whole movie, they're gonna make the Joker movie about what I just did right there."
"This is basically just marrying the best jojo."
"This burn down the house is going to get literally everything."
"This is the most mintiest of mints I've ever minted."
"I literally would sell my soul over and over again to read it again for the first time."
"Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback maybe ever."
"A demon from the depths of Republican hell that can make the damage sweet potato Hitler did to this great country look like a Walmart parking lot door ding."
"How the [] secret is for this [] bro... chlorophyll bro if you didn't know this is the reason why I have a huge dick I have no acne I'm [__] jacked blah blah."
"Donald Trump today called it the greatest crime in American history."
"Pitts ceiling is like the Sistine Chapel... a chorus of angels singing in unison."
"It is absolutely realistic to say Mahomes is the greatest of all time."
"If Sonic runs past you at his top speed, it will at best cause you to choke on blood, at worst, fry you in a thermonuclear blast."
"He would obliterate a small country and murder millions."
"Life in a Wooperless world is not a life worth living"
"The people love me, they're throwing flowers, confetti, and high-grade explosives."
"This entire trial is a soap opera quesarito."
"That was the littest of all time, that was so lit, you don't even need a campfire at night am I right?"
"Let's sleep for a whole year and never wake up."
"My rage is uncapped, there's no cap. No cap, no capping."
"You just solved climate change, call Joe Biden!"
"Unfortunately, it's not just like everyone in media who has access to the internet who's saying bad things about you works for Satan."
"For the time being we've got this one and it is I'm gonna say it the best car in the world there you go bombshell fight me don't care."
"If I were only able to have one skincare product ever, it would be this."
"This deck is insane, it's explosive, it can make negates, it can break boards, what else can does that do? It even slices and dices, makes thousands of julienne fries."
"This car has to be the absolute ultimate driving experience that anybody's ever had since the car was invented."
"If there's a lot of washing up to do, you'll need 6,000 meters."