"Bulk collection sounds like what a garbage man does... it is a euphemism in the same way enhanced interrogation is a euphemism for torture."
"What a problem to have, people raining money."
"Embezzlement is such a dirty word. I prefer creative redistribution of funds."
"Now I can dough on people, I can get my white sticky stuff all over them."
"Color the cow. Kind of sounds like an analogy, you know, jerkin the Gherkin, tickle the pickle, color the cow."
"Serious flaws is a very nice way of saying our story was not true."
"Once you start playing with language and start using euphemisms and refusing to actually call something what it is, I've always had that pushback." - Larry Johnson
"Sometimes you gotta let one pop, if you know what I mean. And by testosterone, I mean, you know, jizz."
"Assault units is a euphemism for the Wagner group."
"Who the fudge? Language! Whom the fudge."
"That's a euphemism, I need to go to the bathroom."
"Number three, I'm gonna go number three as well, yeah, number three, man."
"Technically it wouldn't be genocide, more of a tidy up."
"As long as that turd is still intact, we can never truly have a happy ending."
"I guess people realized you couldn't say 'boobs' so they started saying 'boob' and then they caught on, and then they started saying 'boo.'"
"I haven't lost balls at all lately, man."
"Assaulted is a... Yeah, that's a nice way of saying he shot us."
"David wants to persuade Uriah that perhaps he's the father of Bathsheba's unborn child, so he needs to get Uriah to have sex with Bathsheba. So he says go home and wash your feet. It's not about cleanliness. It's the euphemism for sex."
"Are you having sex with her? No, I'm not having sex. I make love to her. Oh."
"We have to distance ourselves from the truth, so we use euphemisms."
"Ranch Water is just code name for horse."
"I prefer to think of it as a temporary requisition of funds."
"She moved out of the house and also made herself at home with the Lord and Master, if you get my drift."
"I was drinking a little, uh, mom water."
"What's on the agenda? Lay a pipe."
"Well, someone's going to... what did they used to call it in Victorian times? The Little Death, right? That's what they call an orgasm, The Little Death. Someone's going to be having a little death."
"Lowering implies that we are worth more but we're going below. Rightsizing is just choosing for our reciprocal."
"I've been experiencing what is clinically known as sexy times, I think."
"Oh yeah, by the way, she's gone now. She went to the big dumps in the sky."
"The f word, the acronym for that is fornication on the corner knowledge."
"On the back part of the arm if you will there's this region, the elbow we don't like to call it the elbow though, we call it the olecranon region."
"That's secret for their [ __ ] bowling night is code for having sex night, and I don't need to be 22 to understand that."
"Let kids be kids is a euphemism for let bullies have fun, who cares about the victim."
"Living life as an honest merchant — at least that's what we'll call it for now."
"Euphemism is a piece of veiled language used to mask a horrible truth."
"Euphemisms have a powerful way of how it shapes our perception."
"It's like in the South where you say 'bless their heart'."
"The consumer finance industry in the United States is very good at creating euphemisms to disguise the fact that they're about to rip your face off."
"It's like the last thing you'll hear before you go to heaven."
"It's not torture, it's advanced interrogation."
"Euphemisms are always used throughout language to cover the truth behind the meaning of the word."
"We called demons 'bunnies'. It was just nicer to say than 'demon'."
"Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow."
"It's not wrong to tell children Joan only went to sleep; that is exactly what she did."
"We do not talk about death, we talk about passing away."
"War is a pretty name for robbing."
"It's not robbery; it's politely stealing."
"Let's not say ugliest, say cosmetically challenged."
"Some people call these Rudolph poop, but we're a family channel so we won't say that."