Best Standup Comedy Quotes

"I love standup so much. I just want to start and really get into it."

"Stand-up was literally I just took it up as...it helps me deal with my anxiety and it helps me deal with my temper."

"You have to dedicate yourself to a craft, and mine has been stand-up."

"The best stand-up is when you're able to let loose and just say exactly what you mean in the moment."

"I've enjoyed it for the most part, but never as much as I enjoy stand up. The real problem is that I've spread my focus out into all of these other things. My stand-up is what has suffered, and that's the thing that's the most important to me."

"Stand up, on the other hand, has never felt like a job to me. It's always been this fascinating, ever-growing, and expanding living art form that somehow I'm a part of."

"The bad part of stand-up is I never really have a bad time."

"The key for most standups is, even if you're not that funny, be likable."

"Pete is very humble in his stand-up comedy sets."

"Starting with stand-up first really helped me understand the game and the craft and the respect for it."

"Stand-up is my number one on my list now. I could give up TV and film to just do stand-up because I love it more than ever."

"I just want to be a stand-up now and before it was like a third or fourth thing I did but now it's the first thing I did and everything else comes next."

"It takes time to get good at stand up, there's no question."

"Isn't it crazy that you had an idea about trying stand-up and you followed through with it and then you're here?"

"He is very high energy, he has an incredible talent for telling stories, he has captivated audiences, impressed fellow comedians, earning him a spot on the comedy central's 100 greatest stand-ups of all time."

"Is stand-up akin to an argument? Not at all. Stand-up is a discussion."

"I knew that I really liked stand-up, and stand-up really liked me."

"I love acting, I love writing, I love producing, I love stand-up. But what I love about stand-up is the immediate reaction from an audience. It's real, it's instant, it's gratifying, and scary as [ __ ]."

"I love it all. Here's what I love about stand-up: It's an instantaneous reaction, I can't take it back. When you're doing a movie, I can't change it. Stand-up, you can't change it."

"Mitch Hedberg is one of the best stand-ups of all time."

"That's what I love about stand-up comedy... I want people to understand my point... and when you understand you laugh."

"If you've been a fan of comedy, especially stand-up comedy for a long time, you've most likely noticed the changes taking place in recent years."

"I've met people that I love, my best friends in the whole world, I've met through doing stand-up."

"You're not a setlist comic. You are a feel it, speak it, say it comic."

"I'm a stand-up comedian and I think you could do well if you try. I haven't really, Tim. Got a lot of respect for people who do it."

"My complete focus in standup right now is just making sure this show is so special."

"Stand-up is that way. You want to be good at stand-up, suck at it for a lot."

"Even if you fail, you try, especially doing stand-up."

"He stopped standup because he got in a comedy battle called the championship of standup comedy with one Cat Williams in Detroit."

"Getting good at stand-up is being able to beat that, and then you win."

"There's nothing better than great stand-up, just someone getting up on stage and telling a story."

"I just wish that the movie had just been... Kevin Hart comes on stage does what he does so well."

"I still suffer from kind of sickness and up before I go on... but I love hearing an audience laugh."

"My goal was for my stand-up to be the least funny part. I knew my parents would steal the show and I was comfortable with that."

"I love doing stand-up comedy man, it's really, I've kind of figured out my own approach."

"Mateo Lane has a special out right now called hair plugs and heartache... he's so funny so intelligent so quick so sweet."

"Chris Rock is for me, I mean, I think he's the best stand-up comedian alive."

"Eddie is the greatest stand-up comedian turned actor of all time"

"Stand-up is a conversation. There's no fourth wall. Sure, the conversation is kind of one-sided...but it's a communication."

"You gotta do stand-up, man! You are so good."

"Depending on where you went, that was either the bit one of his best specials ever or he's a [ __ ] abomination who shouldn't gotten a second chance."

"That thing on SNL was one of the most for comedy one of the most courageous things I've ever seen oh yeah it's all yeah yeah."

"I remember seeing Patrice O'Neal and then being like holy [ __ ] like there it is like there's the best version of Stand Up and it just gave me hope that I wasn't crazy."

"That stand-up muscle atrophies, bro, if you don't water that [ __ ] and nurture that [ __ ] constantly."

"Ellen's first inspiration for a stand-up bit."

"By the time I get the SPECIAL tin I don't know what the title is gonna be but it's gonna be a closing chapter on me and stand-up comedy."

"I love stand-up comedy because I control the message. Whatever I want you to hear, that's what you will hear and nothing else."

"If you're a stand-up comedian, you've got to think, once you've fought the thing and then written it down, you then got to think, 'I'm willing to drive to Stoke for no money to tell that story to four people.'"

"There's something about stand up that's like... there's a feeling up there that you get nowhere else."

"If you listen to stand-up, a lot of stand-up is really just people basically admitting that they're stupid."

"I don't tell anybody to do stand-up. I've told exactly two people in my life to do stand-up. More. More. That's different though."

"It's crazy how people get upset about politics and a standup bit they don't like, equal venom."

"I love stand-up comedians because it's so brave, you're just out there by yourself."

"Is there not a host at all in any Comedy Store shows? No, there's no hosting."

"Nobody comes to New York to be in film or TV. If you're coming to New York to do stand-up, you're just coming because you love stand-up."

"But stand-up, goddamn, this man has so much power."

"You know what I love most about stand-up? It just... I love talking to the audience."

"doing stand-up is almost a way of programming my brain to have some self-esteem and to think that i have something to say"

"If it's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is this still known as stand-up comedy?"

"There's nothing normal about someone who goes on stage and seeks approval from strangers."

"I never stopped doing stand-up, I'll be on the road this weekend."

"It takes balls to open a set with that joke."

"Sinbad's enduring appeal lies in his comedic legacy and influence on subsequent generations of stand-up comedians."

"Comedians are free to say things like this, and they should be."

"Nothing really can do it for me like a good American stand-up comedian can do it for me when it comes to comedy."

"This is the comedy event you've been waiting for."

"Stand up comedy is back, ladies and gentlemen."

"That's the cool thing about stand-up is we don't have as much pretension like if you're a low-level guitar guy you're never gonna hang out with Mick Jagger."

"With what you do though, I feel like you could... Standup comedy specifically, there's no place like this."

"To me, stand-up comedy is about life. It's too artistic and too loose to keep that title."

"You're just trying to make people's lives easier, whereas most jobs you can show up, you get there at 10 a.m., you can show up at 10:15 and no one gives a [__]. You can't do that with stand up, that's true, good point, good point."

"Congratulations, welcome to stand-up comedy!"

"Stand up over the last 25 30 years turned into this big thing like when I started doing stand-up it was like a fringe thing like a magician or a ventriloquist."

"There is no shortcut with stand-up comedy... go and see the greats."

"Stand-up changed my life, man. I'm gonna say it now, if I never did stand-up I most definitely wouldn't be here with y'all right now."

"I actually would love to do stand up. It terrifies me."

"That moment for me is everything I love about stand-up."

"It's a social situation that is it's some of the most humbling experiences that I've ever had was on stage developing those jokes but it's it's fun to look back at."

"It's the funnest time to be a stand-up because there's no real rules, networks for us, or I've changed to just Netflix."

"It's almost like being the guy in the tuxedo that does stand-up like everyone goes oh you're the shirtless guy."

"A great stand-up comedian is a person who can take control of the room and no matter what the situation is, you bring them to you."

"I want to do stand-up. I was so embarrassed about even admitting stand-up."

"Every time I did stand up, I went home and I reworked jokes."

"Life is good, doing stand-up, having fun, kicking butt."

"I got a stand up a little bit. I had to show this shirt I got for Christmas: 'Five out of four people struggle with math.'"

"But stand-up is only, to me, it's only worth it if I am in the audience with the audience."

"Guys like Jerry or Robin Williams or whoever it was that we admire stand-ups... they were the best versions of themselves on stage."

"That's the exciting thing about standup: trying new jokes. Because if you go out with all the hits, I don't feel very good after that. I want to try new stuff, see if it works. That's exciting."

"Chris Rock is a true [__] standup comic, no ifs, ands, or buts."

"...stand-up is...the last bastion of hope for real truth and conversation to happen..."

"Radio, bro. I kept a foot in radio for 12 years. That's while doing stand-up. I had Letterman credits, I had everything."

"Audiences are now flocking to stand up because it's something you can't fake."

"I never thought that I'd be doing stand-up comedy here and I never wanted it, nobody ever does the job they dream of doing when they're a kid do they?"

"Doing stand-up is one of the hardest things to do in the world, so we should push support one another."

"Schedule time dedicated to writing. Make a weekly plan of the specific days and the specific time you are going to spend writing stand-up comedy."

"I knew I can go out with a microphone and do standup and entertain people, I was worried that I didn't have enough to entertain people."

"I'm proud of where I've gotten as a stand-up comedian."

"Yeah, I mean, for a stand-up, having kids, that's like crazy."

"It's kind of the thing where when you're doing stand-up, if the audience senses that you think that the joke that you made was in poor taste, they're looking for your weakness now."

"The best part about being a stand-up is that that is one part of the business they don't control. You either connect with fans or audiences or you don't. That's it."

"...the craft of stand-up is finding these bricks and building an act."

"You gotta get out there and uh you know you gotta bomb a couple of open mics first before you get that kind of confidence."

"He's out there speaking the truth and it's just insane to me how easy it is to assign a narrative to someone in a profession like standup comedy."

"His 'Pimp Chronicles' is a masterpiece of stand-up comedy. It's one of my favorite stand-up comedy specials."

"It was after that that I said, 'I gotta find me on stage,' because I didn't give a [ __ ] about stand-up."

"Just because you're funny holding a vibrator for five seconds on TV does not mean that you can [__] do stand-up in front of a whole bunch of people who paid to go see a professional comedian."

"Standup is like the only art form and skill set that you can learn by live performance."

"I think being a standup is kind of the best job in the world because I can be a stay-at-home dad during the week and play Rockstar on the weekends."

"I knew I was going to do stand up comedy when I was in jail."

"My first serious boyfriend that I married was a standup comedian so like in terms of Mormonism that's like the low somebody who came home early from his mission serve a state side."

"Stand-up comedy is my love. That's my muse. That's my therapy."

"My tours are different. The platform and standard for stand-up comedy is different because it's an experience. It's an event."

"There's nobody quite like you in the standup world."

"I think part of it was, you got to remember the context that when it was starting, standup was at its Apex."

"Sometimes the story is just it's better when you lie sure it definitely can be true yeah I feel like any story could be improved yeah would you lie on your stand up at all yeah I do that yeah."

"He's gonna give stand-up comedy a try. That's what a lot of ex-athletes do."

"And when I started stand-up, I started in after I had like hundreds of millions of dollars in box office, right, right."

"I definitely want to keep doing stand-up, and would love to, there's so much other stuff that I'd love to do like acting would be cool too."

"...new stuff is what makes stand up good."

"...doing stand-up comedy, was akin to saying you wanted to be an astronaut, it seemed to be an impossible incredible thing, but nowadays, I mean, there's thousands of people doing it."

"Why doesn't the queen wave with this hand? Because it's my hand. That's the best joke ever written. See Adam Rowe live on tour 2022. Get your tickets!"

"Isn't that crazy, dog? The fact that that AI that was doing the George Carlin s*** was, um, aware, self-aware enough to be like, 'stand-up comedians are gonna be out of business cuz AI is doing it and we're doing it better.'"

"Semi retired from stand up, that's probably going to continue for at least a year."

"I don't do comedy because it pays my bills. I do stand up because I absolutely love it."

"I got a brand new hour of stand-up material and I'm coming to your city babe."

"When you're writing stand up it's the exact opposite you have no respect for anything right you have like you're being the most irreverent the most flippant almost nothing has meaning."

"Stand up is completely self-driven it's really that ability to be hated you know and then get up again and do it again and again."

"If you're thinking about offending people, you should do stand-up."

"I prefer to stand up to anything else really because I think it's kind of the pure form of the art really and it suits my lifestyle very well you go there you do your jokes they laugh hopefully and you go home."

"That joke I was doing it for a while, it was my big closer."

"With stand-up, that is truly my passion. I love doing it. I'm not doing it to get somewhere else."

"Carson's Legacy also includes his keen eye for spotting and promoting stand-up comedians."

"When I released my special, I basically started a nationwide manhunt for my pronouns. That phrasing is incredible."

"That's what I love, man. I love stand up and I hope this there's the Next Generation to stand up is you can just do standup and you are have your standup be the Catalyst for whatever else you get but you got it because you are a standup."

"It's so thought-provoking, my stand-up."

"The life of a stand-up comedian is crazy, going non-stop. You stand up until dawn, you're dreaming about comedy, and then you wake up thinking about comedy."

"So, being a standup comedian is tough and you've seen a lot of funny guys not be funny anymore why because you can't top what you did."

"That's what stand-up's all about, that live thing."

"One thing I respect about Kate a lot is that she picked up stand-up comedy, something she was very scared and afraid of doing, purely to go into the unknown, scary territory."

"I feel like stand-up comedy is something that might save us because we need this outlet for expression."

"Are you sure? No, you went from the world of politics into the world of stand-up."

"This isn't like a tour, it's not the beginning of a tour, like I'll be doing more dates next year, but this is just like what I'm doing to mark the 20th anniversary of me doing stand-up."

"Standup comedy for me is a very unique experience where it isn't really even about the audience."

"Hands down the best live stand up I've seen yet."

"Kevin Hart has been through enough in recent months and years for this to be one of those stand-ups"

"This is probably my favorite stand-up special of the year so far."

"Bruce Bruce said never quit your job until stand-up is making more money for you."

"When I act, it's different from doing a talk show and stand up. When I get on stand up, that's me. I get to get on stage and say what I want, do what I want, curse how I want, 'cause it's my show. I get to do it. So it's very, very different. It's not oversaturated."

"What are you chasing with all this? Me, yeah. Why are you doing the stand-up thing? Like what's your end goal? What do you want out of all of it?"

"I miss doing [__] shows. I love standup. I love doing it so much."

"There's nothing like standup in comedy."

"You can't imagine, my penis is not going into a vagina, it's going into an outcast, why aren't you laughing right now?"

"There's nothing fun or more exciting than when a comic is killing and you look around and there's 20 comics all dying."

"It's a big deal like when you're working on stand up especially for a storyteller your last story is the hardest one to piece together."

"You are only as good as your last mic."

"The biggest prize of all is on Monday. I did an excellent standup show, super Killers coming together."

"I think stand-up is a small art form generally. It's intimate, you know, kind of like jazz."

"I think the thing about stand-up that will always, I think, live is it's really impossible to bottle up being in a room with people. Like, that's the most fun thing to me where I'm like, man, I thought of something this morning and now I'm like in a room with people."

"...I'm so excited about this stand-up show, it's for the Red Clay Comedy Festival."

"Richard Pryor live in concert is the best ever."

"Standup gets you work and it gets you into clubs, it makes you money."

"It was like building a stand-up; you have something to say."

"I immediately texted her and just said, 'Finally,' because it really is still such an issue, the sexism and the ageism in stand-up comedy is so prevalent."

"I have autism. I do standup comedy."

"If I didn't have a sense of humor, I'm not quite sure I'd be standing here now."

"Stand up is such a relief, just turning up, no rehearsals, every gig is its own thing."

"She's the first person who kind of instilled the idea of doing stand-up."

"The reason why stand-up comedy is funny is because there's truth in it."

"When you did stand up, you wanted to do stand up."

"He genuinely cares about the craft of stand-up comedy and he's a real ass dude who just wants to make people laugh."

"People on mushrooms are weird hecklers, they'll just be like 'that's very good, yes'."

"The feedback, the immediate feedback of standup comedy, whether you're a writer or a performer, unbeatable."

"Stand-up is supposed to be rough, and it's supposed to be problems."

"If I can do a stand-up show the way I'm speaking to you now, that's gonna be good."

"I think a stand-up is always better when you've got something to say."

"Stand-up is the most relaxing thing I do."

"You can catch me live doing stand-up comedy all over the country."

"Nothing will make you laugh like stand-up."

"The energy helps take away the anxiety because stand-up is really, really hard."

"The art of stand-up comedy was created in the juke joints of Black America in the South."

"It is the best documentary about standup comedy ever done."

"Everything we do in life is tough, but you always know when you get up to do stand-up, it's guaranteed a good time."

"Mark Twain is the best stand-up comedian."

"Welcome to Stand Up on the Spot. How the heck is everybody doing tonight?"

"Standup is the bravest thing you could do."

"I believe that stand-up comedy is an American art form."

"I don't know when it comes to like the, like a comedian for me is somebody who takes a mic, gets on stage, and does it for a whole audience."

"I think it's important to watch some of the dignitaries of stand-up."

"I think stand-up comedy is a simple art form. It's just a person on stage, the only technology is a microphone, and you have a light. That's it."

"It's almost sometimes hard to believe it still exists, you know, with today's modern technology, that something as simple as stand-up comedy exists."

"Stand-up is there's nothing better than stand up because you're in total control of your product and everything."

"There's nothing better than going into a comedy club that a standup comedian helped design."

"I could go out and do stand-up in front of however many people you want to put out there."

"They'd go, 'Go ahead, make a dough.' You do your set, and if you made them laugh, they're like, 'Great!'"

"I'm so happy that your standup is growing so quickly and you're getting to travel the world to do standup."

"After a hiatus, the enigmatic Tucker made a triumphant return to stand-up comedy in 2011, reminding the world of his comedic genius."

"I think I'm now, after over a decade, a good stand-up comedian."

"Nothing compares to stand-up, like there's nothing that live feeling of entertaining in the moment."

"I think the crowds here are just sort of like really good for working out material."

"I started doing stand-up when I was a teenager."