"I think that if you gave every person a button, and if you push the button you'd get a million dollars but it would kill another person that you have no idea who they are, 95% of people would hit the button."
"If you moved into a creepy old house that turned out to be possessed by a demonic spirit, what would you do?"
"If Martin Luther King were around today...he would be protesting because that's what an activist does."
"If you have twenty million dollars in the bank and ten years left to live, what choices and decisions would you make for your life?"
"If you could truly reverse your age every year by one year, that means you're not going to age."
"If Stevenson 2-18 replaced the sun in the solar system, its photosphere would extend beyond the orbit of Saturn."
"If the American government said Albanians, do you guys want to be a part of the U.S., are you willing to be the 51st state? We would be the 51st state, no hesitation."
"Death Note: Have you ever felt like the world would be a better place if certain people weren't around?"
"If the dinosaurs had a space program, they would have knocked that asteroid out of the way."
"The reality is that if China attempted to take Taiwan... Taiwan could inflict significant casualties on the Chinese, but China would win."
"If you had offered me a pill to make me straight, I would have swallowed it before you had time to give me a sip of water."
"If the Israelis announced we are disarming, no more army, no more weapons, what would happen the next day? And if the Palestinians said we are disarming, no more fighting, no more terror, no more rockets, nothing, what would happen the next day?"
"One famous case is the case of a zombie, a creature who is physically identical to you and me but not conscious."
"Oh, heaven forbid they ever escaped. The speed camera fines alone would bankrupt us."
"At the heart of every crime is some sort of speech, unless the crime is being perpetrated by people who are, you know, can't speak or communicate like a bunch of French mimes got together and like robbed a bank."
"If China had soldiers showing up after school to American schools...we would all stand up against it. Congress would act. This wouldn't be partisan."
"If your local government were to be in power because foreigners who were here for 20 years just to make that happen... that's a funny thought."
"If the girl with the knife was a white girl, does she get shot five times?"
"If black folks had done the same thing, we'd have been mowed down like dogs."
"What if we would have overran the Capitol for Breonna Taylor? What if we would have overran the Capitol for Sandra Bland or Tamir Rice?"
"If you wanted to create a blueprint to destroy America, all you have to do is follow the current plan."
"Which would you rather do: would you rather be able to be invisible, or would you rather be able to teleport?"
"If we didn't do the moves that we made, you would have had a million, a million-and-a-half, two million people dead."
"Imagine what would be happening if George Carlin... was still trying to go to college campuses."
"Consider this about his book: what if it were possible to have a conversation with Jesus and ask him anything you could think of?"
"If a cure for autism ever became available, would I choose to take it?"
"On the other hand, the highest voted question by a country mile was whether I would rather fight a duck the size of a Slava-class cruiser or a thousand Slava-class cruisers shrunk down to the size of a duck."
"We know that if Squid Game was a real goddamn thing and somehow this was legal and licensed, that there would be people signing up for it, and we would watch it."
"If we were just selling shoes, I don't know."
"Yeah, all the violence of men, like who's he gonna call if a burglar breaks into his house?"
"If Texas was a free independent self-governing nation right now... what would your vote be?"
"Patriotism on both sides of the Border might have wound up different."
"When humanity is obliterated, it's gonna be because the Soviet Union accidentally shot an alien over several light years."
"Cyber attack and Chinese Transformers, that's what I would think."
"If push comes to shove... how many Americans do you think... would just give up their guns willingly?"
"I am sure that most of them would say, 'Well, Allah is all-mighty and maybe I will go to hell if I don't say.'"
"Would people actually go and help? If I saw a shark attack, I'd probably go ankle deep and say, 'Go away, go away.'"
"Suppose someone with similarly pressing religious concerns had been elected County Clerk... how would you react if Kim Davis went to a county clerk... and they said, 'I'm sorry, it's against my deeply held religious beliefs'?" - Theoretical Bullshit
"It would be so easy to imagine if it wasn't a drug that made people sick or crazy or anxious or desperate."
"Imagine if you have all the money in the world. You don't have to work for the rest of your life."
"What if today on your drive home you get into an accident and you die? What would you do if you knew you had 30 minutes left?"
"What if we were all caterpillars and we turned into humans?"
"If Donald Trump Jr had received a single Ruble from Russia during Donald Trump's tenure in the white house they'd all be in the Guantanamo Bay prison cell on the moon."
"If his anger exploded once more, he probably could have destroyed himself and if he did end up destroying the planet, he probably would have died regardless."
"If I were a violent politician, I would go into the nation's capital and start annihilating."
"Imagine what it would be like if you were free from relationship issues, family problems, monetary concerns, and the like."
"By killing the last remaining human on earth twitch chat has basically eradicated itself."
"If you ran YouTube for... How long should you run it? For a year, how would you change it? How would you improve it?"
"If the legacy media wasn't part of this recipe, how would the psyche of our nation improve?"
"Could you imagine living in a world where these people take over and life is not-- there's no journey anymore?"
"If the whole campaign had just been taking on Marines like this, it probably would have been awesome."
"Any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours."
"What a world would be like without advertising."
"If we had started these practices sooner, could these models be different?"
"What would happen is, you know, obviously... there would be no reason for it to exist."
"Can you imagine if the IRS did the same thing retroactively? That sounds like extortion."
"Before you know it, we'll have a zombie army."
"If Tommy were killed in prison, that probably would be riots on the street."
"Could you, if there's a giant rock, you know, let's say the Atlas stone we have, what does that weigh 160?"
"I'm playing devil's advocate, but if you were in this scenario, would you make the same decision?"
"How much time do I have until they break the door down?"
"What if Mr. House received the platinum chip on time?"
"I hope that we get to see a team in our lifetimes where you actually think about whether you would pick the 2017 Warriors or that team."
"What would happen if all those weapons fell into the wrong hands?"
"What if Shaquille O'Neal was actually a good free-throw shooter?"
"If this shot had gone in then the Bulls would have achieved something that no other team has done before."
"If they were both already planning to kill Old Aunt Ethel, then how is it helpful to watch as two grade schoolers march to their death?"
"Imagine you thrust this under the jaw of a zombie into the brain. I have idea, you would kill it."
"If it was Kanye West, we'd lose our [ __ ] mind."
"What if? If I ever see a hole in my wall that looks anything like that one, I'm not taking any chances."
"If Trump were to shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue, he would have to be impeached."
"If Andrew Cuomo pelts his lawyer with apricots, that's the best thing."
"Too powerful for the Marvel Cinematic Universe."
"What if pasta is already red, what if the rest of them become, you know, communists?"
"You think you could sell this on the dark side of the moon?"
"What would he be like today, some kind of out-of-control psychopath, a child trapped in a man's body?"
"Somebody is going to be, at least one person's gonna die in this. Don Cheadle, I'm looking at you."
"You're gonna die tomorrow, tonight, you get to see one drag show. Who's in it?"
"Wouldn't it be easier if the only store was Walmart? Wouldn't it be easier if the country only had one political party? Diversity is a boon to the consumer."
"If we were frogs, would you sit on the lily pad with me?"
"Does that mean that even if we believe in a person's right to life we should still kill this one person to save the ten thousand?"
"In a world without corruption... Sudan could have been an incredibly wealthy, thriving democracy."
"Judge Garland would be sitting on the Supreme Court right now."
"What if that person lived at the White House and actually roomed with the president of the United States?"
"Spielberg that's the name that would do it if Spielberg walked in and was just like let me show you guys how to f*** I need to Studios."
"What if you run for president and when you win you get four years?"
"I think if I'm the head of a studio first of all that studio would probably be bankrupt in six months but before I drove that studio into the ground I would roll the dice on Zelda I totally would I would love to see his Elda movies."
"She could have just crawled back to Louisiana, and we would be talking about, like, whatever happened to Britney Spears."
"The massive, rage-filled reptile is incredibly dangerous to anything and anyone it encounters, and, sadly, Markiplier would be no exception."
"Oh man, that would have been awesome, right? Don't you think like that would have been better than any of the [ __ ] we got after X-Men First Class?"
"I dare say Mr. Speaker that if a republican did what Mr. Bowman did that every single member on the Democratic side would be down here calling for censure."
"I kind of wish Desmond Llewellyn had come out and he'd been like, 'Uh, in this game you're going to play as Q during the movie Tomorrow Never Dies.' So it's just him slowly like walking to the Avis renter car place where he gives Bond the car."
"If you fall into a hole where you can't see the bottom and all that's there between you and certain death is a pile of chicken nuggets, can they save your life?"
"What if she had an abortion the day prior or something that was doing her routine went to the dentist whatever put her son down and then things started going wrong."
"I'd disappear," Bruno's injury would spell disaster.
"If it was democratic, oh come on, the American public right now, it would be a landslide."
"Ideas would spread much faster across the Atlantic... Atlantean civilization would survive on Atlantis."
"Test the theory. So I wonder how many rapists and murderers were reading these articles in 1985 and getting nervous. Such a good point, like, oh my gosh, they..."
"It's like the simulation is just spawning in new species like Pokemon."
"If they had come across AOC... she wouldn't have had every reason to be afraid."
"Imagine if he got defensive and was like 'no you can't do that to her'... that would just be so bad."
"Put yourself in Scott’s shoes. Would you keep the box? Or would you take the two-hundred-million-dollars, right then and there?"
"If somebody hit me like that, I don't think I would have taken it that well."
"If Satoshi came back from a paradise island... it would cause a bit of a dip."
"I think we got our most accurate study today... potentially 2.2 million people if we did nothing."
"You can't help but think like, what if that was my child being abused that way."
"If Tony hadn't seen and witnessed his mother's attempted murder when he was four, I think that Megan and her kids would still be alive today."
"If all women are on the boat and nobody knows how to drive the boat, the boat will sink if nobody's skilled enough to drive the boat."
"When the German military officers see that Hitler invades poor little Switzerland and takes all their cheese, they will decide to overthrow him."
"If tomorrow everyone drove an electric car, we would crash our electric grid."
"And I wonder, listener, what do you think would happen to you if your enemies had the chance to wish upon a jar?"
"If there were a lottery and they'd all agreed to the procedure, you think that would be okay, right?"
"It is time for a more accurate portrayal of single people in single life, one that recognizes the real strengths and resilience of people who are single."
"If the Krusty Krab went out of business, couldn't I just eat Krabby Patties there?"
"It's pretty easy for me to get into luna. I feel a lot of things really, really hard. So, if I did not do this kind of job, I might become a serial killer."
"If I was elected president, I would have divested... it's better for your businesses too."
"If Mexican people literally left Southern California, nothing would function. I'm dead serious."
"I think if we would have done that here... we could have lost two million people."
"Who would benefit the most if Betty Jean was gone at that point?"
"As long as all I have, my prayer has always been, it's just God I'm available."
"We give this game our completionist rating: Completed."
"Imagine that I was to give you $1,000 and you were free to spend it and didn't have to pay it back."
"I would 1,000% fight an animal if it were a survival situation."
"I never told him directly, but if I really had a high bail, he's the first person I'm calling for sure."
"If Jesus ran for president of the United States, I'm gonna tell you boy something, I'd vote for him, you know what I'm saying? I already have."
"Wouldn't we all of a sudden find that we didn't have any differences between us at all?"
"Anything could happen; Rob could come running over that hill and just kill me right now."
"So the only way I think you could construe this as an attempted assassination, given the payload and targeting involved, is if someone had credible intelligence that Vladimir Putin would be sleeping on the roof of that building at 2am."
"Imagine if Nick killed his whole family just because his dad wouldn't buy him halo 2 on xbox."
"If I ran for president, had ballot access in all 50 states and was allowed in the debates and everything, let's say that's a given I would run on the issue of challenging the American people."
"If you had the ability now to say to the aliens to give them a message, what would you want to say? 'Save us, save us all because I think we're all in a lot of trouble.'"
"If I was Will Smith, um I would, I guess if I were going to Bill Air High yes."
"If everybody in the world isolated for three or four weeks, there would be no COVID anymore."
"Take Gabby off of the internet and there is the potential for the trajectory of 'Escape the Night' to be helped or hindered."
"Would you pay a little difference in your land base to have access to a 9/7 flying lifelink indestructible? Yes, you would."
"Ronnie thought how nice it would be to pretend to be hanged here."
"What would a government of a united South America look like?"
"Imagine what happened if you stopped someone like Adolf Hitler before he rose to power."
"Would Jesus abort a child? I can't see him doing that."
"Honestly, that seems kind of like a superpower. All the cheese you want whenever you want. What could possibly go wrong?"
"If everyone followed that lead, holy [ __ ], would life be so much fun, would it not? It would be so much fun."
"Honestly seems like a hypothetical cautionary tale a truly tragic event of a character that goes too far."
"For 280 million dollars, I think a lot of people would take up that challenge."
"Do you think for one moment that the Buddha people will allow that and not start the war themselves?"
"What would happen if everyone got unfollowed and everybody forgot who the biggest streamers were and everybody started from scratch? What would happen? That's fascinating."
"If this was the mob they would have found these [__] and clapped them all."
"So, if you’ve ever pondered the eternal question of whether you’d rather be stuck in a song that never ends or acid-induced muppet nightmare, then this is the video for you."
"If Elon Musk was sitting on that couch right across from you, would you really look that man in the face and say, 'I'm going to sell my Dogecoin'?"
"If that was in Russia or China what would we be saying?"
"If the Flash truly decided to be a villain, there wouldn't be a whole lot of people who could stop him."
"What are you going to buy with your billion dollars?"
"Why would you assume that everybody only stabs him once? That doesn't mean..."
"What would happen if I suddenly had a billion tons of platinum show up in my backyard?"
"Imagine you had a friend that you'd known for like a thousand years, and then imagine like that you had to kill him."
"What would you do if you were Johnny Depp and someone fabricated terrible lies about you?"
"One of the things that Reagan came up with in those speeches was I often wonder you know how quickly are differences would vanish if we were facing an alien threat from outside this world."
"Can you imagine that many people disappearing simultaneously from around the globe?"
"One wonders if nagamati six were found isolated from all the others what would Scholars have done with it."
"If the world gave up its military there'd be no more poverty."
"Even worse is if somebody died or an officer got injured or killed because of their like alright 101 boom ba-ba-boom."
"Imagine if Donald Trump had beaten Joe Biden by, you know, 51 to 35. That's a landslide."
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because they can right now, and in one more day, the seas all evaporate, and they can't anymore. Make 'em laugh!"
"If the local boogeyman came out of retirement and joined forces with a disgruntled auto mechanic to wreak havoc on your community, what would you do?"
"If they had just double tapped the killer it probably wouldn't be a problem."
"What would happen if the United States found itself in a war against the entire rest of the world?"
"Do you reckon that'll be the thing in the future? We just eat and never poo."
"What would KKB look like if we were actually aliens marketing ourselves to humans in 2020?"
"Say, what do you think would happen if Charles kills you?"
"If you give me four opportunities from inside the 10 yard line like he had at the end of the game to score a touchdown and you don't I mean I I would score at least two of those."
"We didn't need desegregation, we simply needed proper funding. Imagine what could've been with just that."
"Yellowstone super volcano: It would kill 5 billion people if it erupted."
"More than three million people live in Athens, a plane slamming into the city could cause an incredible loss of life."
"What would you do if you knew you would never fail?"
"You'd have to show here that President Trump conspired to tie up the real electors and put him in Rudy Giuliani's trunk of his car."
"What would you do if you had one hour left to live?"
"What if you copy it? You've got two of them."
"Imagine how it would feel if a hostile power in Canada decided that Alaska would no longer be part of the United States."
"A boat travels the way the crow flies. Hypothetical situation: If there was a nuke dropped on one of the major cities in California, the fastest way to get out would be by boat."
"Would you let something really bad happen to you and then let that happen to some other family?"
"So it's like if a tick bit me and then I couldn't smell roses or something. It's like that doesn't even make sense."
"Imagine if chunks of metal fell from the sky to Earth in just one second—under such rain, something like hundreds of knives would pierce the human body."
"If you guys were given twenty thousand dollars to build your dream setup what would it look like?"
"It'd be like if the NFL suspended Derek Henry for a couple games."
"I want to get high with Kim Kardashian, that sounds like it would just be so funny."
"Honestly, if Will Ferrell and Kate Hudson had a love scene, I would die for that."
"Certainly, if she was gonna escape and somehow survive this, I do think she should be punished."
"There may come a time where an unambiguous signal of some type is picked up."
"What would have happened if you had one too many high noons and you didn't show them?"
"Because if they did get caught, they could just claim they saw it on the news and wanted to get in on the fun by scaring people."
"Without humans, there would be no plastic waste."
"Do we just earthquake this? Amy, I don't know, zombie minions you have left here let's see."
"What would happen if Cristiano Ronaldo joined his former club?"
"Yeah, I think I could land the plane. I would totally land it. It'd be sick."
"What's going to happen if Trump wins? A lot of crying, but that's all."
"If we lost Amazon Web Services, the costs would have been in the hundreds of billions if not trillions of dollars."
"If we had 10 free kicks as a free kick challenge for a video against, say, Salah, yeah, but Salah has to use his right foot as a weak foot and we get to use our strong foot, who do you think wins that free kick challenge?"
"If everybody just dumped their AMC shares, then what?"
"A world without people would be strangely silent. In many places, the dominant sound would be birdsong."
"I wouldn't take Killian Mbappe at Tottenham if the manager's a scrub."
"Every month the government will give you a $5 bill. Rent is $2 a month and ice cream is $1."