I Killed Zoe Spanos Quotes
"Anna is used to doing things on her own. She has learned not to depend on adults to either take her to task or dig her out when she fucks up."
"Detective Holloway’s words have a jagged edge, chiseled from stone, then left raw."
"She has grown accustomed to her mother’s display of hollow disinterest in her failures."
"Kaylee’s dad’s gone too, and her mom works nights."
"It’s like she’s remembering, for the first time, where she is. What she came here to say."
"She remembers the way it hit me like this cold, empty dread—she’s really gone, and it’s my fault."
"I’m going to mess this up just like I mess everything up. New, improved scenery, same old Anna."
"It’s responsibility that doesn’t come so easy."
"The thought of having someone close in age nearby is nice, but I’m sure he has more important things to do than befriend the nanny next door."
"The weather just warmed up last week; I wonder how he’s had the chance to spend so much time in the sun."
"I’m sure Paisley will drag you into town tomorrow. Or to the beach."
"I’m going to be the best version of myself for this little girl, all summer long."
"To the Bellamys, but mostly to myself. This is my new leaf. Anything short of flawless is not an option."
"She’s as precocious and charming as I remember."
"The back of my mouth waters, and I can’t tell if the idea of holding a cold drink in my hand is making me thirsty or ill."
"I don’t even like drinking that much, not past the first few sips when the booze still tastes like possibility and the promise of escape."
"But tonight, staring down the end of my first full day in Herron Mills, I could use something to keep me busy. Someone to talk to."
"If she wants to give anyone shit for leaving, it should be Starr."
"The house is set back on the property and concealed partly by a privacy hedge."
"Through gaps where the shrubbery has parted, made flimsy in its reach for the sky, I can catch glimpses of a large, wood-shingled house with vines creeping up the walls and white-painted columns."
"It’s beautiful and creepy all at once. Gothic."
"The back of the house faces west, and the sun is the same brilliant orange orb behind the tree line it was at this time yesterday."
"My days officially end after dinner, which is served at six thirty."
"Detective Holloway’s voice is a song now, the jagged edge smoothed away entirely."
"Maybe I thought it’s what she would have wanted. Maybe I was trying to make things right."
"In some small way. After what I’d done. It was an accident, but … I killed Zoe Spanos."
"We were twirling and laughing and it was fun until I started to feel sick."
"I remember she hit the balcony rail. It was too low. Her knees buckled, and then it was like she was flying."
"Her knees buckled, and then it was like she was flying."
"By the time I got down there … I don’t really remember seeing her body. I just remember the way it hit me like this cold, empty dread—she’s really gone, and it’s my fault."
"I tell myself it's not personal, that she got the fresh start I'm looking for now."
"My phone has been trenchantly quiet all day."
"The LED beam casts a thin white veil over the bushes as I pass—their pink flowers fluttering in the breeze with a ghostly glimmer."
"The landscape must have seemed unlimited, nothing but farmland and sky."
"I’m clearly lonely, and maybe a little bored."
"I can feel the darkness wrapped around my skin like a cloak."
"We’ve been told there’s no way to clearly trace her path. That without communication from Zoe, who clearly does not want to be found, it’s like searching for a needle in a haystack."
"You deserve people in your life who are going to have your back."
"Secrets don’t stay secret for long in Herron Mills."
"We’ll take a dip in the infinity pool, wash the afternoon off our skin."
"It’s not haunted," I assure her. "It just needs a little TLC."
"I resolve to pick up the phone soon, no matter what."
"Please take them back." Caden’s voice is cold.
"This place is haunted. Not by the dead, but by the flinty secrets of the living."
"You’re here all summer, right? You were going to see it sooner or later."
"We didn’t only hire you because of that, you know."
"I remember being on the balcony. With Zoe. I remember falling."
"I need to know what happened. I really need to know."
"I do not believe I killed Zoe Spanos, or concealed her body."
"I think it’s time for Caden Talbot to speak to the police."
"I’ve had my license for a year now, but I don’t have much highway experience."
"Heart still hammering, I drive at five miles under the speed limit until the sky clears up and we leave the rain behind."
"And I’m still fine. No more dark visions. No panic knotting inside my chest."
"The average lifespan of the African penguin is fifteen to thirty years."
"After this weekend’s epic failure with Caden, I need a distraction."
"Just graduated from Brown, ecology and evolutionary bio."
"For what it’s worth, I don’t think you two look that much alike."
"I’ve listened to most of it," I admit. "I have one episode left. Seems like she ran out of leads."
"If people knew we were engaged, it would only raise the stakes, aim even more attention my way."
"I don’t have the first clue where Zoe went, or why. But if she were dead, I’d know. I’m sure of it."
"We’re not angry with you. We just want to know you’re okay."
"What my dad said? About it being absurd that Zoe would run away? I don’t think that’s entirely true."
"There’s still plenty of time to become a new person."
"I’ve been out here less than two weeks. There’s still plenty of time to become a new person."
"Perhaps much worse than the accidental killer she confessed to being."
"It's not like she could write back even if she wanted to; until three fifteen, she's trapped inside Jefferson."
"Martina takes a deep breath and zips her backpack all the way closed before she gets caught."
"Either she'll get off too easy, or the Spanoses will get to see someone locked away, but not the right someone. And that's not justice at all."
"Maybe she should have advised Anna to listen to her lawyers, keep her head down."
"Her high is brought to a crashing low when Aster slams her cafeteria tray down on the table in front of her."
"Because the police are following so many other leads. There are so many killers lurking in the shadows of Herron Mills."
"Martina is silent for a long time. Her appetite is gone."
"Kaylee fills me in on everything I've missed over the past two weeks, which isn't a whole lot."
"Inside, I find the following message: 'If you’re reading this, you came home, or you want to. I’m so sorry, Zoe. I promise I’ll explain everything.'"
"Caden has made it very explicit to Martina that he will discuss Anna and only Anna during this interview. Not Zoe."
"It wasn’t just curiosity. It was like she knew Zoe, or thought she did. She was trying to connect dots that just weren’t there."
"People kept telling her she looked like Zoe. This whole town was trying to solve the mystery of what happened. I think she became obsessed with the idea of some connection between them that just wasn’t there."
"The police could have used a print kit, found out who was in the stable that night. But instead, you threw the bottles away."
"Zoe didn’t drink. She was on antianxiety meds, as has, at this point, been well-publicized."
"No matter what you find. Either he already knows his stuff is missing and burned down the stable to send a message …"
"I’m not exactly CSI, but I’ll check them out."
"We keep this between the two of us. No podcast, no throwing shade at Caden unless we uncover something real. And if we do, we go to the police."
"You’re searching for that link, and you’re just a little mixed up."
"This pool is like something out of a magazine."
"That’s how it is out here. When people hear ‘Hamptons,’ they think bougie vacation spot. But everyone’s a workaholic."
"The Lemon Spritz is a George Spanos specialty."
"I miss her every minute. I thought it would fade eventually. But I don’t think it ever will."
"It’s kind of nice how much they care. That’s the important thing."
"Deep breath in, deep breath out. Maybe it was only grief, after all, bubbling to the surface in all its ugly trappings—grief like a gaping wound for a daughter who is gone and likely not coming home again."
"Feeling like a third wheel, I get up to refill my Lemon Spritz."
"I’m just ready for all the weirdness to go away."
"Neither Caden Talbot nor Tiana Percy were responsible for Zoe’s death."
"This morning, I was working at the shop, and Emilia brought Paisley in around the end of my shift."
"I’m not sure, but I think the strain I hear in Anna’s voice might be tears."
"The need to know burns inside her, intense and center-of-the-sun hot."
"Sleep as long as you need to. Please call if you need anything."
"I thought she was interested. I asked her out a few times, and she kept saying not right now—but it wasn’t a hard no."
"I don’t want to get tangled up in a missing-persons investigation."
"Walking away when a girl tells you to leave her alone isn’t a crime."
"If you have any information that might help police uncover what happened... this is the time to come forward."