The Long Road Home Quotes
"Even at six, she knew that her mother had supernatural powers. She could find her anywhere, almost as though she could detect her scent, the pull of mother to child inevitable, unavoidable."
"People who scarcely knew her said that she looked like a little angel. She looked startled much of the time, like an angel who had fallen to earth, and had not known what to expect here."
"None of what she had encountered in her six brief years was what they could have promised her in heaven."
"She knew only too well how terrible she was, how bad she had been all her life, how much they would love her if she could only do what they told her to, and how much they couldn't because of the constant grief she caused them."
"The footsteps stopped outside the closet door this time, and for a brief moment, there was an interminable silence before the door was suddenly yanked open."
"The thin high heels walked past the closet again, more slowly this time, and Gabriella knew what that meant. The search was ending."
"The child with the huge eyes thought of turning herself in, sometimes her mother told her that she wouldn't have been punished if she had been brave enough to do that."
"It was the merest crack of light reaching toward her through the coats, but to Gabriella it felt like the bright sunlight of exposure."
"All she had in the world was Meredith, her only friend, her dolly."
"She would have done anything to change that, to win love and approval from them, but so far she had done nothing but fail them."
"You're a very special little girl," Marianne said softly as she bent to kiss her again, and then took the tiara gently from her head and pinned it easily onto her own head again, with a last glance in the mirror.
"She knew she was a big girl now, she knew that the things she did that made her mother so angry were really awful."
"She didn't deserve anything more than the pain her mother inflicted on her."
"But she knew still why it had to hurt so much… why her mother was always so angry at her… what she had done to make them hate her…"
"It was the first time her mother had actually broken bones, and Gabriella was terrified and never doubted it would not be the last."
"She lay in her bed, unable to cry after her mother left, it hurt too much."
"There was nothing she had left to live for. Her dolly was dead."
"And as she lay there, unable to move that night, in too much pain, she finally peed in her bed, and knew with utter certainty that in the morning, when her mother discovered it, she would kill her."
"Her writing was her only escape, her only means of survival."
"She knew the meaning of life better than most, and the stood early on what was important, and what wasn't."
"But as she sat in her room, she couldn't help thinking about Meredith, the doll that had been demolished the night before."
"Her life was still a constant battle for survival."
"She knew that her only mission in life was to survive."
"She knew that somehow she must have caused the coldness between them."
"She knew only too well what her mother would say if she found them."
"She had been unable to raise her arms to comb her hair that morning, and foolishly hoped her mother wouldn't notice."
"She knew that today it would take her longer than usual to follow her mother's orders."
"She had no illusions anymore, no dreams, nothing at all, just the unbelievable pain in her side."
"It was a silent vow, a tacit agreement between them."
"She was alone in the world, without saviors, without friends, without even her doll now."
"She thought maybe she would die that night, and hoped she would."
"She was in too much pain, and she was relieved when they left finally, to go home."
"She knew instinctively now that she was a survivor."
"She knew better than to make excuses for her crimes."
"He had warned Barbara of that, and tried to tell her how dangerous Eloise was."
"All he could do now, he was certain, was save himself."
"She had even told them the night before that she was sorry to be going home."
""It's your fault… you were so much trouble to both of us, that he left us."
""He left because he hates you, just as much as he hates me.""
""He left because of you… and there's no one to protect you now.""
"For an instant, just the smallest slice of a life, Gabriella knew precisely how alone she was, and perhaps always would be, as the tall, wise old nun's eyes met hers."
"She knew that if she loved someone enough, they would eventually come to hate her, and possibly leave her, just as her father had."
"It wasn't merely the absence of the world one noticed here, but the presence of something more, a way of giving, rather than just surviving and taking."
"She had been praying constantly to quell the hatred she felt, and had said countless Hail Marys."
"There was something very peaceful about being here, and sharing the things they did. It seemed as though everyone had a job, a purpose, a goal."
"She simply stood there, making those small heartbreaking sounds as Mother Gregoria moved slowly toward her. And without saying a word to her, she took her in her arms and held her."
"They were each expected to empty their souls each day, for the benefit of others. And rather than depleting them, it seemed to fill them."
"It was easy to see that there was a long story there, one she might never be able to share with them, but one that had cost her dearly."
"You're going to stay here while I'm in Reno," Eloise said now in a flat voice, as the Mother Superior watched the exchange with interest, understanding easily that this was the first Gabriella had heard of it."
"How could he have loved her? And he had left, hadn't he? He had never looked back, never written, never called."
"I don't always hear things," Gabriella said with a small, shy smile.
"You're a strong girl," the Mother Superior said to her mysteriously.
"I guess I'll just have to stay here and scrub floors for the rest of my life," she joked.
"You could still write your stories if you join the Order, Gabbie," Sister Lizzie insisted.
"We're going to ignore it," Gabriella said firmly.
"You will have no choice when the time comes," Mother Gregoria said.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to hear," Gabriella sighed.
"You're supposed to hear your heart, my child."
"You'll make a very good Sister," Mother Gregoria said quietly.
"I'm very happy to meet you, Sister," he smiled warmly at her.
"Maybe I am arrogant… and show off without knowing it."
"I hated them because they beat me," she said simply.
"Have you ever thought of that?" She spat the words in Gabbie's face.
"I think what you're saying, and thinking, is disgusting," Gabriella was still angry.
"I hear you've been busy planting vegetables all week."
"I guess that's why they let me stay for so many years. I knew there had to be a reason."
"I used to pick blackberries when I was a kid. I'd come back all scratched up... I figured it was worth it."
"My parents died when I was fourteen... It still made him smile warmly to think about it."
"For some reason, my mother always used to blame her troubles on me... I always believed her."
"It took me years to forgive her for what she did... It's amazing how many people don't have anyone to talk to."
"You don't have to be cursed with the same demons that plagued your mother."
"I went into the seminary straight from high school... I can't imagine a better life than this one."
"And if that doesn't turn out to be true, then what? You drop the kids off at the nearest convent and desert them?"
"Neither have I, once I was sure... The nuns I grew up with always talked about the ‘calling and my ‘vocation,’ but I never thought I was good enough."
"Just be quiet… we have to pray about it… shhh… it's all right, Joe, I love you."
"We both need time to figure this out... We both belong here."
"Maybe she was smarter than we both were... I swear I never saw this coming."
"Look who's talking. This is about as crazy as it gets."
"How could I be angry at you, Joe? I love you."
"It's too soon to think about all that yet. Just know that I love you, Joe. That's enough for now."
"Don't forget how much I love you," he whispered.
"I love you, Gabbie," he whispered, so softly she could hardly hear him.
"I love you too." They were in total collusion now, and determined to be together, if only briefly, no matter how high the price.
"I'm going to miss you terribly," he said in a voice still gruff with passion.
"All I know is how much I love you," he said, knowing that now he had not only her to think of, but their baby.
"Maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe it's what I needed to make my decision."
"You're so beautiful…" He had never dreamt it would be anything like that.
"I'd better go back," she said with regret finally.
"Take good care of yourself," he said gently to her. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"I'm so afraid to fail you in the world, Gabbie… what if I can't do it?"
"I love you," she said, and they kissed again, and then with a heavy heart, she drove away.
"You have condemned a man to hell, Sister Bernadette. For eternity. There will be no redemption for his soul. There cannot be, after what he's done... after what you brought him to."
"You will never see him again," Father O'Brian said in a voice so terrifying, Gabriella actually shuddered.
"You have more strength than you know, and much more courage. One day you will know that."
"You must forgive yourself now," she said in barely more than a whisper, holding a hand out to her to touch the girl she loved so much for the last time now.
"I love you so much… I can't leave you…" Gabriella sounded like a child again as she clung to her, feeling the stiff wool of the habit against her cheek, knowing her own was about to be taken from her.
"Go with God," Mother Gregoria said, and then turned slowly around and walked back into her office without looking back.
"I'm not strong," Gabriella said in a broken whisper. "I'm not. Why do people say I am?… Don't they know I'm not?"
"All my life I have known how weak I am, what my failings are, how many people I have disappointed… my parents when Jimmy died, because I could not save him."
"But when I went to St. Mark's, they gave me everything I'd never had, all the love, all the chances, all the understanding I needed."