"Oh no, he's doing yoga and he's possessed. There's no coming back from that. Bagsy, I'm the leader now."
"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wet your pants."
"Anyway, I really love this movie, it's engaging and often funny, so I'd suggest checking it out."
"Mr Toots is a mini unicorn that shoots rainbow lasers from its butt."
"My heart fell into my ass, okay? Like, I got so nervous."
"Don't let cinema ruin the phrase off, I won't." - Flairchild
"You're blowing up that quadcopter, long? Thanks, you know, I was thinking, I sure hope you don't mention anything to the cops about my explosives bunny business."
"Now we get to see the elephant's bum-bum from over here, though."
"Enjoy the couple of days of 2017, or if you're watching this in the future, hey."
"It's actually so cold that the water dripping in my bathtub shower, there's a small section of ice on the bottom of the cheese bathtub."
"These things are heavy like you could burn a bug with these."
"There are no stupid questions, but there are stupid people."
"We got the Russians to the Russians in Reno."
"Stick together. Annabelle's here. What a pleasant surprise. Welcome back, Dr. Bata Nugget."
"Hey, if anyone's gonna cheat the system for us, I want French Bill Cosby to do it."
"Only in 40k can the solution to a problem be throw a crucifix at it."
"Stealing that slushie machine was the best thing that I ever did. It made me who I am today."
"Trying to fit a circular table in a square room is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole."
"Perfection isn't real anyways unless you're menchie. You scared her."
"Every piece of furniture in this house, including the house itself, destroyed by the cats."
"I do sometimes eat that cookie, but every day I'm like, I have to throw that out."
"I'm telling you, Jesus Christ, great guy, fantastic guy."
"It made me laugh, but it also made me cry, and anytime a book can do that to me I know that I really loved it."
"The bananas were just stored in the Arsenal all along! That's fantastic news!"
"I'd rather clap than watch Man City take Mönchengladbach apart."
"Yo, this was kind of sick, but I'm gonna turn your car into pink."
"I bought the cheapest seats $155,000 and $25,000 seats at the Super Bowl... one of us is not going into the stadium... it's not going to be me."
"That's the goal of this ministry, is to put Bart on the moon."
"One small step for a man, one giant leap for manly kind."
"That was a very strategic maneuver with our strategic Bonk."
"Fellowship with me other GU so watch not a nation which work Nia is a joke mr. Otto Bassett oho Bhuvana we're on an agar."
"That cake went after me and me only, I'm calling it, I kicked racist, I said it."
"Watching it at 60 frames per second in 4k blew my hat clean off and I wasn't even wearing a hat."
"You're gonna have dumb values during this period of time."
"I mean, you're throwing your miles away. You're like a philanthropist at this point."
"It's just so lovely and again it's super fast read and it's hilarious."
"If I was Will Smith, um I would, I guess if I were going to Bill Air High yes."
"But it's that part of like you eating with you know looking I look nuts half the time but they're like why I like because that is true that is real that is who I am."
"What the hell? What, a ghost grabbed him by the booty? Something grabbed him by the booty, yes."
"I'm out, I'm out, gotta go. We out, nah, I don't play with that."
"It's about how it's good to really like spaghetti."
"Picking a dad is not something that you do because you like his hair."
"It was very, very strange but it was also really, really funny."
"You can put this around your balls very worry-free."
"Honestly, I hope they never stop sponsoring me because A. I get to keep doing these crimes to my face, and B. I sincerely believe that this is one of those little things that you buy once and it makes your life better multiple times a week."
"Chaotic good after you took that photo of Pussa."
"The official unofficial fastest guy to ever go fast with a Christmas tree - 201 miles an hour."
"One candy at a time, orange eminem will acknowledge and embrace his anxiety."
"Our lives have clearly improved by quite a lot. We're no longer nude."
"For the next 24 hours, don't learn anything!"
"My name is bond James Bond haha yes sounds good."
"Sorry Mario, came makaras very mondo, Taylor wiggling buco."
"On god, you have the alter. Yeah, we accept that. Okay, not what you say before a sword fight, oh no, that's ours."
"Every time you say it sounds like you're speaking Italian."
"I guess I'll read my letter first. When you started eating kumquats, you changed. Good for you."
"Oh, he is looking like a blob though. Maximum Blobbagio. Maximum Blobbage."
"A Mitch McConnell promise is as trustworthy as a husband with glitter on his face."
"She's got those Jersey Mike's, baby, you feel me?"
"The squidger knots and the tardigrades might turn their nose up if we called it an uncrewed mission."
"Every woman in America thinks she's Taylor Swift."
"Short people like me on a slope like this, I had to stand on my toes. But normally I don't have to."
"I'm tempted in every way to sin every day. Jesus took the wheel, but the devil's the GPS."
"Your ass pops through the cracks of your pants, this is what I'm talking about."
"One time Borah, one time, one time Borah could not find it."
"I don't want to get married yet. I haven't leveled up my charm."
"There's balance in all things, moderation in all things. I agree, so if you see me eating the Snickers don't come at me."
"Actually, it was super easy, barely an inconvenience."
"I aspire to be puss, okay? I aspire to be puss."
"While you may not have expected the humble chicken to take the top spot in this incredible list of animal shenanigans, wait till you see what this little hen hatched."
"The solution was to turn on the garbage disposal and then reach down and get the key."
"Stop eating females; if you eat too many females, you start to become a female."
"Slurp Kiss, by far the best healing tech that we have access to."
"Going around LARPing as a riot police wizard, decimating crowds of mobs, slapping birds out of the sky."
"Well, not really 'cause we don't need to eat, drink, or sleep, and oh, that food do look good though."
"His grand heist was thwarted when the fire brigade had to excavate the coal-covered criminal from the chimney, after he became thoroughly stuck."
"The worst part of all of this is he didn't even keep the yu-gi-oh cards bro he was like so ashamed of them that he ended up throwing them away"
"Do you want to feel like you just wrote somebody a parking ticket?"
"Every single chapter felt like a movie, hilarious and adventurous."
"I'm gonna be a cute anime girl. Oh well, G-Stead, you don't have to be that."
"All of this stuff got all over my legs, it got in my face, like whoever this poopy belonged to, like I'm probably related to them now, like I'm, I really am, like we're considered blood brothers because I'm pretty sure it went in my mouth."
"This is what we saw, this one Mickey Mouse off them standing back."
"This mug, this Flemmy the Flamingo mug, when I say I was cackling when I saw this, I was cackling."
"That dude got rocked so hard the smoke came out of his butt."
"Thank you for serving me but Beryl. You were a pretty swell guy."
"Nikki bird brain, sir, I will never ever vote against."
"I threw her in the pool she got water on, oh my dress is so wet, Dax. Who cares? Grandmother not me even now I'm not quite sure."
"Your doctor might need a doctor because of how good you look."
"Even your doctor needs a doctor because you'll look so good."
"You give me a bunch of free [ __ ] I will say nice things about your city."
"So okay Matt how do you make yourself amazing? I actually don't know I'm just a youtuber but I would say to maximize your chances of being great you need to try every day to improve yourself."
"If I said to you, 'Do you want free money?' you'd be an idiot to be like, 'No, I don't like free money.'"
"Precision engineering tools for your family jewels."
"Barbie is an actual deity, so she is the actual goddess of the Galaxy Barbie."
"Literally, if there's a drink that was left out... I will drink it."
"Poppy Partridge is the resident chicken, so to speak, from a sprained beak to sunburnt feather."
"Meowth's first word was Rocket wish mine was Rocket way cooler than mama"
"This is a silly game about a girl who has licked an icy pole in the winter, and her tongue has gotten stuck."
"Get those badass kids out the room 'cause we got a lot of stuff to talk about right now."
"I got a chef too, what are you doing? Get out of here!"
"He's gonna poof away faster than you can say banana bread!"
"Not everybody gets to ride on the back of cockroaches."
"I wasn't paying attention. Blitz always finds his way to me. He just can't resist me."
"I mean, a chicken mama will come into Target just to see the chickens, am I right? Am I right?"
"It's going to be a mckell season it's going to be my new burner."
"Gregor drinks the broth first before swallowing the chunks whole, like a duck does when eating bread."
"You gotta get schwifty, you know, raise the posterior."
"You could be married and still keep your balls."
"The candy bars will not disappear just because you got a shot."
"Good game, you know, this poor guy before I killed him, I bet he was sitting here, he was about to have like his moment of glory, the Technoblade's 1v1, right here."
"Can one truly say that they have enough candles in their house?"
"Mama talk is just uh just a skid of his mom talking."
"Desert has a lot of cursed pizza ready to go."
"Window window window, no one really gets a bed now."
"Imagine just being named Homer, couldn't be me."
"When God was making Eve, was he saying, 'Can you make me the boobs bigger'?"
"I might just stick with the one Ed doesn't know about."
"Merry Christmas, it is the most fun tradition you heard it, they said it not me." - Dave Ruben
"Your lord has gone to his office sign, you will virtually never stop working from one moment to another."
"Can I get a drink? Your courses, ah, you have a portrait."
"I need poop, I really need these guys to poop so I can inspect."
"My most favorite thing about this is that it just grabs everybody's attention because it's so freaking huge and that is what she said."
"Subscribe to the channel if you have not already. Or else, no pizza for you, Angela."
"I've peaked no more bags for Lydia ever again don't hold me to that but for now for a very long time."
"I'm wearing these in honor of Agent Trash Bag."
"Hell yeah, take that, stupid dumbass robots!"
"Love beats a book because beats a was the best."
"How do you sedate a fruit fly? You're gonna laugh, you just put them in like the freezer."
"Great job little puppy and it's just gone in a second you're like did you eat did you even taste that where'd that go you know you know how that goes."
"Food eating however is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food convincingly human you are starving to death and must be fed." - Meow or headbutt if your human is being stirred.
"Cheaper than therapy: when you die and you become a ghost, are you forced to wear what you were wearing when you died for eternity?"
"You get zero out of five buttholes, your husband gets 4.5 out of five buttholes."
"Boom! Leonardo da Vinci predicted the space race confirmed 100."
"Guacamelee is both such a dumb idea for a game and yet one that you just play out of curiosity."
"That's called drip. That's called money. Yeah, pause, Mall. That's called your ass."
"Shawn has been a victim of the baby brain where apparently you can't remember things."
"Hold up, hold up, wait. I think my plot armor is finally kicking in."
"I try to win all the games. Don't invite me to your bridal shower, don't invite me to your baby shower, I'll knock over your grandma to win a potted plant."
"These were adorable, it's just freaking precious right?"
"Crackheads is legendary boy you ain't living in the hood if you ain't never had a crackhead hook your cable up."
"It's funny, I was like, 'Stay away from my dude.'"
"Anxiety, though, is self-focused. If I go into this grocery store, I'm gonna see my ex's mom. Oh my god, and then what? Does her world stop turning 'cause she ran into you buying hot dog buns? Nobody cares."
"Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal is funny, addicting, and possibly the most fun you'll have with a 3D platformer on the PlayStation 2."
"Babies with wings and they haven't got nappies on."
"Some things tend to happen by magic in life and this shirt appearing on me is just one of them things."
"She's got a bauble. She's got a bauble, dog."
"Weather really has nothing to do whether the clothes are on or off in our research."
"Yo, no! The girl! Oh people offer the girl a ride? Yeah, so the ghost was the person waiting, right?"
"Brains also, I think this was some Reddit I was like a shower thought or something how crazy is it that our brains came up with the idea to call our brains the brain like the brain told us to."
"Gorillas have a massive amount of bacteria in their gut, which also means gorillas are almost always constantly farting."
"And sailed on to the land of infinite hot water, and naked elderly women who silently judge my belly button piercing."
"Sometimes you make mouse slips that look kinda disastrous."
"Nobody's announcing and nobody's going to say, 'Oh excuse me officer, I have anything'... obviously."
"Why did James Bond fart in bed? Because it would blow his cover."
"Why is Billy Joel's laundry still wet? He didn't start the dryer."
"We have such a long way to go yet. Except Tiffany's mug, right? I'll bet you. I know Maggie actually sent hers back, that you're for toxins."
"That feels good to run up and down a mountain I feel like I'm pooping on Santa Claus I'm sorry can I say I'm sorry I feel like I'm pooping some of these dreams here you are a lot of people's dreams right now man."
"I need a post he were Francois meeting eaten fresh I craft again all over the property Cuba"
"Walking socks in the water for the next like 30 minutes just squish squish."
"Malloy just hoovered all of them down and asked for seconds."
"Those little buggers will literally chop your toes before you have a chance to say the word silverfish."
"Guaranteed success, surely villager number two to the moon!"
"It is funny, it's touching, it's inspirational, it's romantic."
"Can you guys see all the glitter? I gotta go check the door, guys."
"It feels like the movie itself is fully aware of its subject matter and saying, 'This premise is absolutely ridiculous, but you know what, let's just roll with it and have fun with it.'"
"Our number one answer this week: slick goo silk... 'The worst person to run into heaven would be an I Told You So person.'"
"You're trying to get the middle seat? I'm not getting the middle seat this time!"
"Congratulations, you get a city today, it is a bit on fire, sorry about that."
"I hit the button for you. Should I hit the button? Wait, where's the button? Oh, the top left. Bye."
"Warrior meows, I don't know about this one. Is it dope? Yes, but is it Pokemon? I don't know."
"If I have to listen to you equivocate on things that are guaranteed anymore this year, I'm going to jettison you into outer space."
"This is why voting is important, people! Pokémon go to the polls!"
"You gotta have that wet mouth, come on now. Make your mouth wet, wash y'alls mouth!"
"I was telling everybody look the economy the economy is going to crash and the teacher's like shut up Charlie eat your damn lunchable."
"I saw him with my trashcan it was good one guy speaking out by the hot by the hot close down hot though what are you doing here it's amazing."
"Stop it, stop it, stop it, I'm gonna stop it okay whoo all right all right confirmed confirmed they do indeed scream I didn't even know hamsters could do that."
"And most importantly, what's up with the weird space dogs?"
"You know, just guzzles a bunch of milk and his tooth just magically grows back."
"You don't have to go home but you do have to get the hell out of here now."
"You know what, cancel the ice cream. I'm gonna gross you out and drink the bucket. Hand me that bucket, I'm going to turn this into Fear Factor."
"Peppa Pig gonna pepper you with the truth, yeah!"
"We are literally just skeletons piloting meat costumes."
"I know like fat chicks they only like chunky chicks."
"Please put in a good word with Nuka-Cola corporate when your survey card arrives in the mail. Here, take some souvenir bottle caps courtesy of the Nuka-Cola janitorial service department."
"Mission failed successfully."
"The old squish squashed the kebab there."
"Hide your kids hide your wife moon in the sun are snatching up everybody up in here."
"Both of you were absolutely bananas that day."
"Cat barges into the room and shows off her brand new outfit."
"When I'm done with you, you're gonna be cattywompus."
"It's eerie, it's surreal, it's goofy."
"...Juliet's nurse who spouts some pointless anecdote about her dead husband even though no one asked her."
"It's just quite an entertaining light-hearted funny read."
"It made me laugh; it made me smile; it made me sad; it made me reflect on so many things."
"I really do like Sophie Lark's writing style; this one was funny, it was witty, it was well told."
"I like sports, I like funny, I like just about everything."
"It has heart, it has wit, you're going to laugh, you're going to cry, you're going to feel empowered."
"My friends call me Luke and my sisters call me Charlie, but you can call me anytime."
"She's really cool, she's really funny, easy to talk to for sure."
"He was lighthearted, funny, and happy."
"This is some really funny stuff including a hilarious punch line that I legit didn't see coming."