The House Of Closed Doors Quotes
"I cannot tell you because I do not wish to marry him, Stepfather. If I told you his name, you would oblige us to marry."
"Her innocent child must not be made to suffer for her sin."
"Leave it to the master to arrange things, now do. You must not get yourself into a state."
"I will arrange matters, you little whore, and you won’t like it."
"A world of women, who all adored me. A shrinking world."
"She was everything I wasn’t: petite, ladylike, and still very pretty for her thirty-eight years, with her pale blonde hair and slim, narrow-waisted figure. People loved her. I loved her."
"But you must also make something for Cousin Jack; perhaps some plain gentleman’s handkerchiefs?"
"The society of Hartford, Connecticut, was bound to be far more extensive and exciting than that of Victory; but there was a whole world to be explored."
"Jack’s eyes were closed and his tanned face flushed; his teeth were gritted as if to stifle sound, and his fingers were digging into my nether regions."
"Why, I found myself wondering, had Jack flirted with me if he had another love at home? And if his attraction to me had overridden his conscience, why had he found it so easy to leave me? Really, I mused, I had thought I understood men. They were obviously not quite as straightforward as I had imagined."
"It certainly offered more freedom than marriage, and there was the potential of travel if I kept my eyes open for opportunities. My senseless act had effectively taken me off the marriage market and given me breathing space in which to plan a different future."
"Friendships will arise between the feeble-minded and those of normal intelligence. Women with better faculties of retention and organization take pleasure in caring for those who are unable to care properly for themselves. It makes us more like a family."
"Her work-worn hand closed around my wrist like a vise, and she jerked me toward my wardrobe."
"But what about the mental defectives? Can it be healthy to be housed with insane people?"
"I believe that the model we have here is a healthy one. I have observed that friendships will arise between the feeble-minded and those of normal intelligence."
"Imagine peeling onions by the bushel! I do not like the smell of onions. I try not to sit near the onion-peelers at mealtimes."
"I began to learn names and understand each woman as a unique individual."
"You could have made him marry you and have your baby in a nice, pretty home of your own instead of in this shithole."
"The eyes that squinted up at me from a puckered-up face were a cloudy shade of green-blue."
"Having a baby is nothing to get hysterical about."
"A fire and a footstool? For such a woman? Really, Mrs. Lombardi, you must not be seen to condone the sinful natures of these females."
"Jimmy!" I said sharply to the young man. "Be silent at once. This is helping no one."
"Are you all right?" I asked anxiously. "Perhaps you should not stand up just yet."
"I’m sorry," she said incongruously. "That was a body."
"It’s Jo Ma, Mrs. Lombardi. And her little baby," said Tess.
"You are right, Nell. But she could only have been here since the cold weather started. It was cold that day… but I had a fever; I was hot and cold at once. I do not understand."
"We—I have failed her in some way I cannot fathom."
"My vision was full of the wizened visage of a baby whose name had been Benjamin and who had not deserved to die."
"And if I let her go, my heart would break, and she would not have me near to protect her from the evils of this world."
"I needed to know what had happened to Jo and Benjamin."
"Murder? Nobody has imagined such a thing, Nell."
"Why was Jo sent away? Had you found a home for her?"
"Jo was a beautiful young woman; huge blue eyes and fine, shiny hair of that very pale shade of blonde that you sometimes see on small children. She loved pretty dresses, poor simple soul."
"Your stepfather has already written to me twice asking if the baby is ready for adoption," she said. "He has urged me to the utmost diligence in finding parents for the child. He says that your mother is most desirous to have you home."
"Killing is wrong too, Nell. Maybe Jo and Benjamin were killed."
"Bottle of whiskey, and you’ll know who the father of Jo’s baby was. Leastways, the probable father. Little Jo got around."
"It’s his demon," Tess said sagely. "His demon’s not very nice."
"In case the governors decide to inspect us, I suppose," I said absentmindedly.
"The likelihood was that Jo and Benjamin would be forgotten before weeds covered their small grave, by all except, perhaps, Mrs. Lombardi, Tess, and myself."
"I do not want to be separated from my child," I said as neutrally as I could.
"The only conclusion that any of us can reasonably draw is that Blackie did indeed find it."
"I was determined to nurse Sarah for as long as possible."
"I wonder, Miss Harwell, if you could do me a favor."
"You are both very quiet." A ray of evening sunlight made the red tints in Mrs. Lombardi’s hair glow as she stood in the doorway, notebook in hand.
"That little girl… the whore… She is up there. He shut her in," he hissed, a stage whisper, as if he were telling me a secret.
"I will prepare myself for a rapid departure on the twenty-fourth of July," I wrote to Martin, "and will be at the gate of the Poor Farm at midnight of that very day. I throw myself on your compassion and friendship."
"The time will pass quickly." I placed my hands lightly on Tess’s shoulders and bent to look her in the face.
"Because he hoped to sell the information in return for drink. I do not like to speak ill of the dead, Nell, but I am deeply dismayed at Blackie."
"I felt my nails dig into my damp palms. It was unbearable, all of it."
"You are welcome to stay for as long as you want."
"It seemed likely that my stepfather had joined in the rest of the evening’s activities."
"You have changed, Nell. You have returned to me as a young woman with a tender heart."
"I am a little more shocked by the notion of my daughter working for a living than I am about this little one."
"I do not wish to return to a state of childhood."
"Strange to think that such a frail, dainty soul stood between me and the wrath of a murderer."
"The blessings of Providence follow me in all my ventures."
"I decided to try bravado. 'If you try to send Sarah away,' I said as firmly as I could, 'I will nonetheless go to your political rivals and tell them everything I know and suspect.'"
"She had a baby. 'Dead, like my little boy. But they said—things. I remember that your father told me.'"
"We had found some kind of equilibrium, but it was horribly precarious."
"I was tied to my daughter with chains that could only be dissolved by death: 'whither thou goest, there shall I go.'"
"It’s enough to make me start going to church."
"Despite our sadness, Martin’s face broke into a broad grin, and he reached out to stroke Sarah’s cheek. 'Take comfort in your little indisposition,' he said. 'She has brought great joy to your mother.'"
"The clock ticked as we all held our breath in the silence, waiting to know if Mama had finally passed into eternity."
"It’s only for a short while, Miss. If you don’t do it straightaway, it becomes difficult later, you see? By the time we have laid her out, we’ll be able to take it off and make her beautiful."
"To make things worse, now that Mama was gone, I was nominally in charge of the running of the household and responsible for my stepfather’s comfort. That was intolerable."
"I always wondered why only Bet was allowed to dust this cabinet. Almost as soon as Hiram was out of the house after the funeral, she showed me its secret."
"My father gave them to her when I was very small. He had a theory that a woman should never depend entirely on her husband, it seems."
"Isn’t life complicated when we engage in deception, Nell?"
"I have heard from Mrs. Lombardi," I hissed at Martin from beneath my heavy veil.
"I did not hesitate, didn’t think, didn’t care about Hiram or the river or the stones. Some kind of noise came out of me as I took the three steps to the very edge—a scream, perhaps, or a yelp, or a howl."
"But strong women, you see, can be controlled. And how? By love, my dear Nell, by love."
"I realized I could not see Sarah. My whimpering shaped itself into a prayer: ‘Please, God, let me find her. Please, God, let her be alive.’"
"And then I began at last to cry, holding Sarah tightly to me, feeling the reassuring warmth of her tiny body against mine."
"Nature often plays such tricks when there is mixed blood, but it cannot be denied that he is the offspring of the two of them."
"Independence. You are certainly Red Jack's daughter. Could you not simply do what other women do and graciously accept your station in life?"
"I am quite convinced that by applying my mind to the situation, I can avoid touching whatever capital Mr. Buchman can salvage from the damage Hiram has done."
"In the midst of a calamity without parallel in the world’s history, looking upon the ashes of thirty years’ accumulations, the people of this once beautiful city have resolved that CHICAGO SHALL RISE AGAIN!"
"I would like to see the man who would treat me like a friend and not someone to dominate."
"It is time I took a risk. All my life I have assumed the role of my mother’s protector and helper. For her sake I kept sober and clean and worked in the store while my friends traveled the country."
"We are both heading for unexplored territory."
"I have only ever been in Chicago and Prairie Haven. And I will be with my family. I have a family again."