"Everything goes better with bacon, okay? Butter and bacon."
"I'm just vaccinating my profiteroles, immunizing them against the horrendous disease known only as Not Enough Cream-itis."
"Smokies prefers to offer tall food at short prices, and not short food at tall prices."
"Butter makes everything better." (Yes, it's worth repeating!)
"You heard it here. The amount of garlic in every recipe should be tripled."
"What I am making, ratatouille? Well, how would you prepare it? They must be joking."
"I hate to break it to the team here, but this sword is just not the best cake spatula."
"Bacon in a burger? Gonna be good. Bacon in a sandwich? Gonna be amazing. Throw bacon in your cereal? Probably not."
"Pasta is delicious and I'm gonna pretend it's good for me."
"A burger is basically just breakfast sausage without the spice."
"Humans showed up and were like, 'Hey, that's pretty nifty. Listen, is it cool if we selectively breed you for thousands of years to give you horrific deformities to crank up that whole deliciousness part a couple hundred notches?'"
"It's a cronut to me. It's a rainbow baby. This is your cronut."
"Soy sauce, the sesame oil makes love with the egg fried rice. I don't use 'make love' and 'egg fried rice' in the same sentence. That's how Uncle Roger got fired from the Chinese restaurant."
"ITADAKIMAAASU!! Gordon: 'Finally, some good fucking food.' If I had any small issues with it, is that it pushed my suspension of disbelief to the fucking limit."
"Del is joyous over people wanting to eat food from his food truck. That's a great joke."
"The ink slicer hello, thank you for the three buds, how are they with barbecue sauce?"
"Fried butter is gonna outlive me and that's pretty cool."
"Double bacon penetration, thanks to the cheese shortage!"
"Imagine how good the crab meat is in that face hugger. Oh, so delicious."
"An Oreo cookie is a sandwich, and then when you remove one of the cookies, it's a Tartine. There's a thing that is the way things are. I mean, hey, there's nothing wrong with that."
"I'm the noodle king, and I feel like I've messed up."
"It's not a holiday dish if you can't make a sandwich from it."
"Cooking at home doesn't imbue your burgers with magical properties."
"All hail the king crab... or maybe all eat the king."
"Who doesn't love a little bit of lava toast in your buns, you know?"
"I have cilantro sub questions: One, if cilantro tastes like soap to some people, why is it such an uncommon soap scent?"
"Now I kind of see shallots as posh onions, you know onions in a three-piece suit if you will."
"It's called drunken noodles for various stories, but I like to think of them as a really good hangover cure."
"There's nothing Scottish about Scotch eggs."
"Everybody loves garlic. It's like the memes that go around of the recipe that calls for two cloves of garlic, and it's like these boulders of garlic."
"She roasts her food just as well as she roasts people."
"Garlic is freedom; freedom is garlic."
"I tried to make a chocolate cake... I made a cookie."
"It turns a roast potato into a banging roast potato."
"Listen, you can hear the steak crying; that's why they call it a crying tiger."
"It's not a flipping Egg McMuffin, it's Eggs Benedict!"
"They're perfect, except for one thing: they don't make lasagna."
"Everybody says their adobo is better than yours, so mine is better than yours."
"You couldn't trust a skinny cook."
"In conclusion, German chocolate cake: nothing to do with Germans but everything to do with a delicious cake."
"We can all agree banana curry pizza should not be a thing."
"We got the ingredients, we just got the wrong Chef in the kitchen."
"Because everything's better with butter."
"Life is too short not to eat the cookie."
"You're filled with simple syrup and he's filled with peanut butter; I need you both, there's no competition."
"We're making one of my favorite salads because it barely qualifies as a salad, panzanella."
"It's sweet baby Ray on steroids, I love it."
"If you've been looking for a delicious recipe that's gonna feed the whole family without making you question your very mortal existence, then look no further than this one, man."
"Sour cream is the glue of Mexican food."
"Curry without garlic is like human without air; we need air, we need oxygen."