"That's not pistachio ice cream; that's wasabi, and it's spicy."
"Babe, we're in a freaking tent, we got to worry about not catching the T on fire first."
"He then noticed the guy from the ceiling and stated that he didn't remember that weird decoration being there."
"We're going to flip the switch... Oh heck no, you got me on the dole!"
"So, uh, yeah, don't take this the wrong way but I thought that punch was gonna knock you out and I would take the drive and save the day without any dead weight."
"Lou screams what are you doing step bro everyone wakes up to check what kind of sauce behavior is going down among them is Lee who as soon as her lose screams process to manhandle the spy in a blink of an eye."
"No chabby squirrel is going to stop our boy from getting these apples."
"The Situation's Ridiculousness was not lost on the arresting officer as he was pictured seemingly holding back a smile while restraining the suspect by the arms."
"She made Roy listen, didn't she? Just locked him in the basement there. Please don't unlock it, Grandma."
"I've been telling people I'm a Leo I'm not in an attempt to create a long con but my plan is getting out of hand what should I do?" - John
"You went with the boobs plan it hasn't steered you wrong until now how tell is not on the list."
"In terms of the thing disappearing, there was a massive chicken and then you put a piece of paper in front of the chicken."
"You're touching it? Oh my gosh, you're gonna have a heart attack."
"This is what happens when you want to sneak out while your girlfriend is asleep. Let me show y'all real quick. Get locked outside and you're not getting back in."
"That's hilarious, actually. We better leave before the police come."
"Every inch we push forward, that is one inch more successful than the last. Ah, that's the issue, we're stuck on a tree."
"I can make a list, you can buy it for me, you can tell me you bought it for me, I could watch you wrap it and then open it five minutes later and I have forgotten what's inside."
"Why is there an energy pulse coming out of your groin?"
"Oh man, oh god, what the hell... Oh, what are you, a porn star? Jesus."
"Daisy, it's so cold in here! We're in the freezer!"
"Wildcat loves cameraman's hair: a hairy situation indeed!"
"Thank you for drinking too much coffee, dude."
"He's like, 'I have kids, you know?' And then he evaporates or whatever."
"I'm having an existential crisis over a water bucket."
"We're just two naked people running away from the cops. All right, I've been there, done that. Let's go!"
"I have never been this knee-deep in marijuana in my entire life. I'm literally kind of drowning in plants here."
"Cue the 'Is it Benny Hill music? That's the one!' and he's running for his life"
"You can have everything you want and you can hold the best party for all your mates but when they come around and say where's the toilet and you say we just do it in the garage you've lost every house needs a toilet."
"Picture a tow truck driver doing his job, putting a big cop-looking blue Yukon up on the tow truck, and all of a sudden, now it's raining solid metal chairs."
"I dug up a barrel full of glowing goo in my backyard - who should I call? Goo busters!"
"Elliot Giles is paying for you, mission dies, his debit card is literally in his hand."
"Oh no, you're dizzy, you haven't even placed your trip."
"Somebody's gone, we successfully escaped that clown."
"Let's do a little scooby-doo moment and reveal her shall we so i guess three two one i can't get it off i can't get it off."
"What if Rosamund's 16-year-old daughter is Caroline's wanted fantasy heroine but Caroline got Rosamund by mistake because she and her daughter have the same name, which is very funny."
"Madrid rounds, she wants me and Tyson to have kids like ASAP bro, it's so hilarious."
"That right there is the Legends Never Die, I'm gonna go put that on my fridge before my mom takes it away."
"Sure, I'll follow the talking monkey that seems to know way more about my situation than any monkey has a right to."
"Damn, Karen brought a gun!" - "She's like, 'Can I speak to the manager?'"
"We won! How did we get subcontracted out by Mickey to do this?"
"That's not our place! Oh my god, all right, we're gonna figure all this out."
"I really didn't wanna walk her down that aisle with that polka dot shirt on, dog."
"Oops, wrong apartment! Would you like to give me your trash bin?"
"So he gets away he gets away never it's a suit he and the suits damaged because he like over bloated it with the electrical he's not like naked what the hell."
"I'm gonna die chasing an Instagram flamingo out to sea."
"Good luck with your monster in the pond, I hope you figure that out."
"Even if you was to try to reconnect with a past person, Universe wouldn't let you do it. You get in your car, try to drive to their house, your tire would blow out. You would be prevented from reconnecting with this person."
"Okay well don't be that close okay but like all right so then just like just show my sock being like not wet."
"I moved my curtains slightly to one side and I peeked out like that creepy guy."
"We're gonna have to get some Cheech around here."
"Actually, mine just broke in two because we cut it."
"This is funny if you lost my rubber duck and then right next to it it's rubber duck for sale."
"Do we have a Carlos Danger situation here? Imagine you're playing video games at night with a guy and you look at the guy's email address and it's the Vice President of the United States under an email address named Robert Peters. That's funny!"
"I'm pretty sure that the expression on my face was ridiculous."
"It was almost a comedy of errors."
"My initial reaction was 'Hell no, not today Satan,' and then I realized I was the adult here."
"It feels like that scene in Friends where Ross is wearing the leather trousers and he can't get them back on."