Angus, Thongs And Full-Frontal Snogging Quotes
"I don’t see why I can’t have a lock on my bedroom door."
"It’s like living in a house full of chickens dressed in frocks and trousers."
"You might set fire to your bed and be overcome with fumes."
"There are six things very wrong with my life."
"I am very ugly and need to go into an ugly home."
"If you died in your sleep and woke up dead, who would let you know?"
"I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive."
"It was the "stuffed" bit that Jas helped with mostly."
"If I have to walk, why don’t Jas and I both walk there and forget about the car?"
"You don’t think I am sitting next to you in a green T-shirt and tights, you’re mad."
"Don’t you speak to me like that, otherwise you won’t go out at all."
"Georgia, you thought it was funny and I thought it was funny, but you have to remember that boys don’t think girls are for funniness."
"Oh God, please, please don’t make me have to be a lesbian like Hairy Kate or Miss Stamp."
"At least she likes me and doesn’t mind if I have a sense of humor."
"We’re going for a mystery walk tomorrow. Or La Marche avec Mystery."
"I woke up and thought my face was paralyzed."
"When the electrician came because the fridge had blown up, he said to Mum, 'What madman wired up this fridge? Is there someone you know who really doesn’t like you?'"
"I want my boyfriend to be emotional… but only about me."
"Anyway, I’ll never have a boyfriend because I am too ugly."
"Why couldn’t I have a normal family like Julia and Ellen?"
"Libby has woken up and insists on sleeping in my bed."
"I’ve started worrying about what to wear for the first day back at school."
"There’s never anything to eat in this house."
"I hope against hope that my dad is not a transvestite."
"Why don’t you take off the olive bit and we’ll stick it in the boot?"
"If they don’t grow back, you and I can go into showbiz. We can do a double act doing impressions of billiard balls."
"What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive—gate-crashing cocktail parties?"
"I don’t think I can stand much more of this."
"I lay on my arm until it went numb and then I lifted it onto my breasts."
"Kissing the back of your hand is no good because you can’t tell which is which."
"Put one finger of each hand underneath Abby’s body and then we will begin."
"I think it’s great that he’s young but he knows where he is going."
"I am a facsimile of a sham of a fax of a person."
"I’m not going to become a Buddhist if I might come back reincarnated as a stick insect."
"It’s my 'date' in four hours. The horrible thing is that I don’t want to go."
"Do you want to end up with a fruit and veg man?"
"We had to have our school photo taken, all of the fourth form and the teachers together."
"I have found my sister’s secret used nappy at the bottom of my bed."
"It’s never nice to be dumped. But look at it this way . . . you are in exactly the place you wanted to be—you’re single and free again."
"I’m just going to take my time to grow up and concentrate on my work so I can get a good job, and so on."
"I think you are mistaking me for someone who is interested in what you have to say."
"Hell’s bells! Robbie was at the gate . . . probably waiting for his fiancée."
"If he gets any bigger Mum says she is going to give him to a zoo, as if they would want him."
"It’s not personal or anything, but er . . . I think you’re too young for me."
"Look into that mirror, Jas, and love the person that you see. Say, ‘I love you.’"
"I will concentrate on my positive and not my negative, e.g., I will think less about my nose and more about my quite attractive teeth."
"Celibacy or a huge fat neck, that is the stark choice."
"Well, do you think I should give him another chance? Don't kiss him on your first date . . . well, unless he really wants to."
"Don’t even think about doing anything to your hair."
"Well, do you think that maybe a summer trip to New Zealand might cheer you up?"
"I’m not coming to school today, I’m meeting Robbie."
"You’re the girl of my dreams, will you be my girlfriend?"
"Mum came in. 'Right, we’re all set—I’ve got them!!'"