White Girl Problems Quotes
"All I want for my birthday is for you to know what I want for my birthday without me having to tell you."
"My major in college was picking my major, with a minor in being really bored."
"You’re my best friend, and I love you to death, but fuck you. Just kidding, I love you. Just kidding, I hate you. Call me."
"There is nothing prettier than a woman with confidence."
"My father always taught me to stand up for myself."
"If you’ve ever been cheated on by someone who really should have been cheated on by you, then you know exactly what I went through."
"I thought that my dad had relinquished the idea of me attending college, since I clearly hadn’t taken to it."
"What people don’t get about most Ivy League schools is that at least 15 percent of the student body is there because someone called in a favor."
"I guess I should have felt bad to have taken a more deserving student’s place, but I was actually glad to be leaving LA."
"Art school gives you the opportunity to explore yourself and experiment with your boundaries."
"It’s hard to explain, but it wasn’t until I was truly immersed that I realized my calling was probably to be an artist."
"I became a raging alcoholic. I drank whiskey for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."
"Trust me when I tell you that he looks so much better now than he did then. He actually wrote me a thank-you note when his new nose healed."
"Why is everyone trying to hurt me? Why do I smell like ass?"
"My obsession with Robert had driven me to madness once again."
"I guess it is totally possible to meet nice guys online."
"I think that’s when I realized that we could have something special."
"I’ll eat anything, as long as it’s gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic."
"I had nightmares about being the kind of person who would be forever described as 'having a great face.'"
"I do my best never to associate food with pleasure."
"Who cares?! Plus, I fucking hate socializing."
"Every single thing I put in my mouth must serve a nutritional purpose and also enhance my beauty."
"I’ve since gone to great lengths to destroy all photo evidence of this period of my life."
"Sometimes when I meet a guy I like, I start lying uncontrollably right off the bat."
"I need a therapist to talk about the problems I’m having with my therapist."
"I was on enough (insert any club drug here) and was so super-drunk from bottle service that I thought it would be a good idea to walk right up to my new obsession and let him know that I was ready to go home with him whenever he wanted."
"My dad’s girlfriends are the best. Without them I’d have no one to scream at and blame everything on."
"Every job I’ve ever had is the worst job I’ve ever had."
"I’m never drinking again, except for the occasional glass of white wine, vodka sodas, on holidays, or my birthday month."
"There is nothing sexier than a man who takes charge on the road. Am I wrong?"
"It was bliss. Simple and sexy. I deserved it."
"Totally connecting. It was amazing, and our hair looked so good."
"I don’t know. That’s a big question and I have this, like, connection to my bathroom and my closet and my chef."
"I feel so lucky to have you in my life. Is that psycho?"
"Just getting really into the beats and loving myself."
"I was realizing now more than ever that the key to a good relationship is acceptance."
"I’m going through a lot right now. It’s kinda dark for me."
"Not the most graceful of breakups, but I had to follow my heart."
"In times of need and confusion, I almost always take myself to Barneys to collect my thoughts with a healthy dose of retail therapeutics."
"I don’t hate you, I just hate you right now."
"I’m kind of a psycho and kind of a drug addict."
"You can’t force the creative process, especially when you’re out of Adderall."
"It’ll be really interesting to see if I can get my shit together."