Me And Earl And The Dying Girl Quotes
"You would be perpetually angry at the world, too, if this was your life."
"So, there’s some drug dealing and gang activity in the house, which probably counts as a problem."
"Life is good, as I was just telling Cat Stevens here. How’s your life?"
"I guess my point is just that, it’s weird that we have animals living in our homes. It’s just weird."
"Earl, would you agree that suffering in life is a, a relative notion—that for every life there is a different baseline, an equilibrium, below which one can be said to suffer?"
"The primary insight being that one man’s suffering is another man’s joy."
"One thing I’ve learned about people is that the easiest way to get them to like you is to shut up and let them do the talking."
"Having friends is how your life gets fucked up."
"I already had lunch. This is the barf of a space alien."
"I’m a barf historian, and you need to have some respect for that."
"I am not going to eat this precious barf. Let me explain something to you guys. When an alien barfs, it’s a sign of trust."
"Talking shit on people is probably the easiest way to make friends and enemies in high school, or really anywhere, and as I have noted like a billion times, that is the opposite of my goal in life."
"It’s like the opposite. I’m celebrating this magical bond that Scott and I have. With his barf."
"Music really only interested me as a soundtrack to a movie."
"It is literally impossible to imagine a thing dumber than sports."
"Have you ever noticed that people look like either rodents or birds?"
"If this were a video game, you could just break everything in this room and a bunch of money would come out of it."
"Everybody dies," he said. Actually, he said "Irrybody dies," but that looks stupid written out somehow.
"The most beautiful thing about you is that you’re not a sock puppet."
"Artistically, this is our most ambitious film, which also makes it the least fun to watch."
"I’m the one who’s deciding you have to read about them, so really it’s me who is being a human poop factory right now."
"You can never completely kill off that tiny absurd spark of hope that this girl—against all odds, although she could date any guy at school, not to mention guys at college, and even though you look like the Oatmeal Monster and are a compulsive eater and suffer from constant congestion and say so many stupid things per day that it seems like a Stupid Things company is paying you to do it—this girl might like you."
"Polar bears are the most regretful animals in nature. Scientists do not know why this is. But they have the purest expressions of regret in the animal kingdom."
"Books always try to do that. If you just had headlines from every single day of my life you would get a better sense of how boring and random it is."
"Actually, yeah. This book is probably making my life seem more interesting and eventful than it actually is."
"It’s not like I was sitting in a room, with tears running down my face, clutching one of Rachel’s bedroom pillows and listening to harp music all the time. I wasn’t wandering any dewy meadows, ruefully meditating on the Happiness We Could Have Had. Because maybe you don’t remember this, but I really didn’t love Rachel at all."
"It should be called Emotional Moron Disorder."
"We were so ridiculously arrogant to try to make a film about her."
"There was no fucking meaning to it, there was nothing good that could come out of it."
"You gotta live your own life. You gotta take care of your own shit before you get started doing things for everybody else."
"Anyone can write a book. So I wrote this book for you."
"If it does change your mind and you decide to readmit me, then you guys should all be fired, because all I’ve really demonstrated to you is that I’m a jackass who doesn’t feel appropriate emotions and can’t really live a normal human life."