The Last Continent Quotes
"Discworld is a world and a mirror of worlds."
"People don't live on the Disc any more than, in less hand-crafted parts of the multiverse, they live on balls."
"All tribal myths are true, for a given value of 'true'."
"We may even find out why the duck-billed platypus."
"Snow, thick and wet, tumbled on to the lawns and roofs of Unseen University, the Discworld's premier college of magic."
"You couldn't stop Tradition. You could only add to it."
"Knowledge is dangerous, which is why governments often clamp down on people who can think thoughts above a certain calibre."
"Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot."
"No, that's the kangaroo language. I'm trying it out."
"Anyone could have done it," said the Senior Wrangler. "I could hardly read the lettering myself."
"If you get stuck with any of this compl'cated stuff, my door's always open."
"Because, in fact, history already depends on your treading on any ants that you happen to step on."
"It's just an illustration, sir. The problem is cause and effect, and the point is—"
"It's a log, Dean. There's roots on one end and bits of branch at the other. You haven't even hollowed it out. It's a log."
"The Bursar was, as he would probably be the first to admit, not the most mentally stable of people."
"He'd never been very interested in magic as a boy, but he had been good at numbers."
"And he had indeed survived many otherwise exciting years by locking himself in a room somewhere and conscientiously adding up."
"Those were still the days when magical assassination was still a preferred and legal route to high office, but he'd been quite safe because no one had wanted to be a bursar."
"Ridcully told jokes like a bullfrog did accountancy. They never added up."
"So the Bursar found it much more satisfying to live inside his own head, where he didn't have to listen and where there were clouds and flowers."
"Dead is only for once, but running away is forever."
"Well done, lad. So run along and get some bananas, will you?"
"It's very hard to design an organic wheel, you know."
"Laughing in the face of danger is not a survival strategy."
"The purpose of the whole business, you see, is in fact to be the whole business."
"People's whole lives do pass in front of their eyes before they die. The process is called 'living'."
"A wizard in a foul temper attracts magic like overripe fruit gets flies."
"The important thing was to settle his mind and be calm, and, possibly, think of nice things like blue skies and kittens."
"Once upon a time the plural of 'wizard' was 'war'."
"It is never wise to object to the decor of a hidey-hole."
"It's easier to abstain from sweets when you're not standing knee deep in treacle and it's raining sugar."
"You could take the wizards out of Unseen University, but you couldn't take the University out of the wizards."
"When treading water in a circle of sharks, a wizard will always consider other wizards to be the most immediate danger."
"You could count their teeth on the way down."
"The future unrolled in front of Ponder Stibbons. His eyes were so bright that his glasses steamed."
"That's because perspective is a lie. If I know a pond is round then why should I draw it oval? I will draw it round because round is true. Why should my brush lie to you just because my eye lies to me?"
"The more geography you've got, the less history, ever notice that? More space, less time."
"It's no good trying to be strictly true to life here; what he had to go for was an impression."
"Any fool could just copy what he saw, except possibly Rincewind, but surely the whole point was to try to paint a picture that moved, that definitely expressed the, the, the—Definitely expressed it, anyway."
"Moving while standing still, that's a good one!"
"Past and present ran into one another. They contained a lot of people."
"Wizards had a hard job accepting the term 'clear and present danger'. They liked the kind you could argue about."
"There is something about a rapidly descending ceiling that intrudes into the awareness of even the most quarrelsome."
"The ability to ask questions like 'Where am I and who is the "I" that is asking?' is one of the things that distinguishes mankind from, say, cuttlefish."
"One minute you're arguing over the shape of a duck's head and the next there are people telling you you've been inside a rock for thousands of years because time goes slower on the inside."
"You mean we missed dinner? 'Thousands of years of dinners, Archchancellor.'"
"Really? Better start catching up, then, Mister Stibbons."
"'I say, this beer's good, isn't it? Very drinkable. Yes, I'm sure there's a lot we can learn from one another, archchancellor. You from us rather more than us from you, of course."
"'All right, let's start again,' he said. 'Let's start by me not telling anyone your name.'"
"Where there's hope there's life, I'll have you know! I'll find a way! Somewhere there's a way of making rain!"
"It meant the smell after rain. It had, he thought, been well worth waiting for."
"There are platonic burgers made of beef instead of cow lips and hooves."
"Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza."