Best Anecdotes Quotes

"Anecdotes, while entertaining and interesting, do not constitute scientific evidence."

"Interesting story about Mulligan... on the first ever Magic tournament, one man got such a bad hand that he dropped his cards accidentally and showed them to his opponent."

"I'm Bernard, although I insist you call me Bernie. Only the person who calls me Bernard is my wife, and even then, only when I've tracked elephant dung into the carpets."

"My dad told me how this song came to be. I remember he would joke with me that Maggie Mae was the Mrs. Robinson of the 70s."

"We used to call each other up. He'd say, 'Can you sing a bit of "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart"?' Michael Jackson used to call you? Yeah. I'd get him to sing 'How Can You Mend a Broken Heart' down the phone."

"I have piss hands I'm not allowed to catch it I learned that working running SRAM with Mitch."

"The plural of anecdote is not data, but it's promising."

"Ron Newt tells this story like it was yesterday: Michael Jackson two-pieced Bubbles because he tried to bite Jay Valentine."

"Every day, every day I give you a funny story man uh I can remember playing against Mike uh my second year in the league I was with Washington then yeah and we were in Washington and I switched off on him."

"I was in Vancouver, and I was like, you know, there was a definition of a liar. It's a gold miner saying they saw a hole in the ground."

"Anecdotal stuff matters because significant new information emerges first in anecdotal form."

"He had met these two people... and he went on to tell that he had partied with these guys."

"Most side episodes in this show offer some kind of meaningful anecdote for the characters they focus on."

"Anecdotes are life. That's real-world experience. The plural of anecdote is data."

"I said I guess they got my notice and take it over sitting right next to me said, 'chata, they just pushed me out the door.'"

"The first story is 'Sure do love getting screamed at by a guest mom.'"

"That is probably one of the best neighbor stories I have ever heard."

"Drunk raccoons are really funny, they figured out how to remove the cap and screen on the chimney, and made themselves at home."

"Welcome to our slash just no HOA where people share stories about their crazy Home Owner Associations that make us feel better about not living in an HOA."

"Families are just endless juicy ammunition for great stories, you know."

"I think we've all seen that six-month-old witness baby in the car seat wearing a full suit and tie."

"You think there's little bugs getting... there was a time Jerry walked into the green room at Helium and I had like my jeans rolled up."

"I always have them like the other dad had an AK in the back of my truck for like a week no idea why but it was just sitting there."

"So, we're sitting there, and uh, what was I talking about? Oh, I totally forgot. This is real life for me though. I do forget this stuff all the time."

"I told my son, 'But no, see, you don't know what a real bad guy is unless he pisses off a black mama trying to get a photo for her baby!'"

"Next time, Jamie told us all about Robbie Williams hiding out at his place when he left Take That and traveling on the Liverpool team bus."

"Everybody loves a good drone crash story."

"Is life just a series of embarrassing stories?"

"I remember seeing Dali doing some watercolor in his bathtub. You know, he would just on a big piece of paper put a dash of red, blue, and green and just run water over it."

"Dali was very superstitious. And he was always carrying with him a little piece of wood. You know, he said touch wood for good luck."

"Their stories are fascinating to hear."

"Marvel Vice President Alice Donnenfeld was at a bar with her friend..."

"I was once unable to wave at Prince Charles because I was holding a wounded seagull."

"I have a buddy who went on a date with a girl who was his Uber driver."

"What's your best my co-workers are crazy story."

"Pat Patterson's a funny guy. He's always telling jokes, he's always got a smile on his face."

"Apparently more than once, yeah. Yeah, a couple times, you know. It happens once, that's a sign."

"One thing we have discovered along the way is that everyone has an opinion or a story about the supernatural."

"It is said that Billy Holiday showed up with a dog in her purse."

"The beautiful thing about Bird is that most of the best stories about him are trash talk stories."

"In the four years I had that position, I received my fair share of odd calls... but what I'm about to tell you is pale in comparison to anything else I've experienced."

"I like it. What do you mean? Like, during the pandy, we have friends in New York that were like, 'It's wild.'"

"It's like dog if the police ain't say nothing bro I wish I would come to work and and and and and I got pulled over for speeding but the police a give me no ticket."

"Most memorable backstage fight? I think Eddie Guerrero, God rest his soul, and Kurt Angle. They had a match in the ring and it started in the ring. And when they finished it then, as soon as they got out of the Arena, they got backstage, they started it again."

"I left $200 worth of shrooms at the Airbnb in the fridge and I realized as soon as we pulled in, I was like [__], but I had given my cousin shrooms for her birthday 'cause it was a week prior, so she let us have some of those which was huge."

"I hope you enjoyed that combat story. This is easily one of my favorites."

"Share your hilarious tales of unexpected fluids."

"It is a fact that out of all the performers who've worked with Jim Henson, Frank is the one that would swear the most."

"Sit back, relax, chuck a prawn on the barbie, and enjoy today's bloody Karen stories."

"He would have my mom go to the movie theater and wait outside like it's a bank heist and he would go inside and it was like you had to put 75 cents in this machine and God damn 75 cents"

"I've had my fair share of like weird stuff that happens."

"...it's funny actually because my mate Jamie who came along with us and and sat with us..."

"What is the greatest prank you ever witnessed or even better performed?"

"We deal with literally everything. I mean, I chased down a naked dude one day."

"People leaving Burning Man were so covered in mud and the hotels did not want them to stay there because that specific dirt won't come out of sheets."

"What's the best case of Instant Karma that you've ever seen?"

"remember we started talking about all the water i think it all culminated my irish setters are pretty amazing until you get in water that's 18 inches deep"

"Comment down below your crazy dating stories, I'm curious to see any of them."

"Speaking to Michael Jackson's father about my life because of a seeking Arrangements date."

"I think it's funny when, like, my teachers at school dress up. She dressed up as a pirate."

"Every time he put these in during a break, one time when I was playing a club gig and I said, 'Whatever you do Joe, don't mess with those bridge saddles because they're purposely bent like that so the thing will play in tune.'"

"Typical kids, yeah. My parents never let me do this, but sometimes you see the little kid and they bring him to the restaurant, but he won't eat whatever they serve there, so they bring in, like, the burger."

"Mine would either have to be that time when I broke my arm and they had to reset it, or when I broke my pinky toe against the wall walking into my bathroom."

"We've had kind of an interesting helmet journey."

"Dennis Rodman's stories are crazy as hell."

"So everyone is all focused, you do have a story about Britney, not SMB, okay? I'll change it on the whiteboard."

"Everyone has at least one falling off story that's a little bit more on the funny side."

"...I remember I when I was in um well here's two quick ones once I was on a uh cruise and that's all that's a red flag that's a red flag but I was a I was in college so it was our Spring break cruise..."

"I met this guy in New York that I'm pretty sure hates women, or he's just mad at us right now, 'cause, like, he came up to me out of the blue and was like, 'Yeah, no offense, but I don't think female comedians are funny.'"

"The funniest thing that's happened to me recently? My brother be saying some funny [__] sometimes." - Reflecting on humorous moments

"He did not succeed, but his first time getting very, very drunk was at one of my house parties."

"I'm sure we have some really interesting stories to tell."

"This is going to be a good story to tell."

"I'll see you again on my next break with more Tales from the Break Room."

"He drops both of our hands and then just starts digging in, and it was the funniest thing I'd heard in quite some time."

"Everyone probably has at least one story."

"In addition to some exciting flying stories, we also talked about the origins of the nickname 'turkey' as well as how the fuselage actually provides lift under higher angles of attack."

"Jake The Snake was my friend Eddie's buddy in LA. That's how we got our weed."

"Even a little bit of small money can go a long way because we've seen crazy stories from like four thousand dollars."

"Every ball from skin Jesus crazy low is no joke why do you know I can't get it off because woman's uh now poor my nail polish remover he was a green beret that's what he did miracles with that stuff yeah those guys are a different breed."

"Here's a good story about that, man. I used to go and play pool all the time at the Willy's Family Pool Hall and neighborhood bar in Houston, Texas."

"Becca, Becca, Becca, you just said Felix has peed in all their houses."

"You actually met Kelly Slater for the first time naked."

"I mean you know I mean I I you know when I did not know this is a good sidebar okay I told this to Nick Varner and some other players I started playing Reyes in matches okay so here's what happens"

"Tell me your mom is petty without telling me your mom is petty."

"Someone said, 'When I was born, I was so premature...' Oh, wait, that's not the one I want. Oh, here it is: 'I have two lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars.'"

"Easton told his robbery story. Yeah, he did. Women's earrings, oh, women's earrings, man."

"Anyway, let me tell you guys a story that happened with my neighbor."

"She was like cousins with one of the New Kids. Yeah, we just go to her house and wait for Joey to show up, I swear to God."

"...someone was like oh weed and I was like oh my God my mom grows weed in our front yard like dandelion and they were like what and I was like what and then I was popular in high school."

"I always tell these guys stuff about my dad and they're like what and I'm like well you never you guess and it turns out they never ask."

"At a cabinet lunch, David Blunkett is once again forced to blame the dog."

"Some of the stories he told, like, we love all day talking about Napoleon."

"John Gotti was the type that if there was two roaches right if there's two roaches you know over in the corner of the dorm John Gotti would say I got $100 this New York roach beat this Old Carolina Roach you know what I mean."

"It's actually funny stuff, and like ones that I think are legitimate, like when you hear them and when you're still in the dating pool, you're kind of like, 'Yeah, yeah, a little bit of that.'"

"People are people, doesn't change. So I think what be nice to finish on is a story of something funny that's happened, you know, funny stories during a removal or something like that."

"That was one of the best pro revenge stories I've ever heard."

"What's the dumbest thing you've ever done while you were drunk?"

"One of the old stories a lot of taxi drivers tell each other."

"Early on an ice cream date I asked if he wanted some of mine, he ate the entire scoop in one bite."

"Connie Mack would put some peculiar riders into Rube Waddell's contract and in an effort to keep him from drinking, he would often have Rube Waddell stay with him in his hotel room before a big game."

"Stroud, Gloucestershire had over 30 big cat sightings in 2007."

"The craziest rock and roll story is about you when they sued you over 'Run Through the Jungle' and 'Old Man Down the Road.' That story just blows my mind."

"He felt very personal that this must mean him, and he was going to actually perhaps be able to stop the record even being sold anymore."

"I've had a great time with the family and then my son-in-law stayed, uh, or he came back, he went home for Christmas day."

"This was a good blunt, dubs. Casey, don't sleep. I think a lot of people forget about this trick, which was crazy on the courthouse stage, and Ollie heel nose wheelie. And this is like, I mean, I can't pinpoint the year. I mean, early 2000s."

"You're the only guy they know that has air conditioning outside the snake season. I got to get back together with a boyfriend in my 20s because he had air conditioning and it was a very hot summer."

"Dude, I have so many stories. This, I've... I was shaving before anybody like Manscaped showed up in the world."

"When I was younger, I used to just eat butter out of the tub."

"Acts of kindness... let me tell you about my first month in Albania."

"I wasn't even working it, it was just hanging over the side of the boat."

"Everyone here has had their own ghost story like during everyone's time they're here as in students or teachers they have some kind of experience with a ghost or a weird occurrence or something."

"My mom did the same routine every single time she would get into her best dress... nothing but cash."

"All of these situations are going to be little tiny mini story times for your ears."

"When not, I was halfway at the gate and she said, if you don't come back and kiss me, don't bother coming back at all. End the story."

"It's so crazy, the stories that I hear from people."

"Let me tell you, I got a story to tell."

"It was a blast, and we're gonna get to that later, but people want to hear about your legendary career, not when you had to babysit me."

"Why did I do that stories when it comes to used guitars."

"...randomly she started shouting out Shabba like she's still emceeing it's like Shabba!"

"That's awesome, but um, he got a couple of squirrelly's at school for that, Logan."

"The weirdest order ever, that to this day I think my buddy Brennan was like, 'I almost unfriended you at this point.'"

"I went to Disney World in Florida, and I called and I'm like, 'Hey, can I get one of those scooter [__] things?' They're like, 'Yeah, no problem. They're right at the gate.' Well, they don't tell you that the parking lot and the gate are seven [__] miles apart."

"Yeah, you know like a clean white shoe yeah like Reebok Run Walks yeah in Pakistan I can't remember what it was is there like the uh the Adidas knock off yeah it was like Nike Abitus or something like that or Lt. Gray I don't know something crazy it was something weird."

"Last year, I was amused to discover that in one weekend, I'd had a curry with Andy Murray, been bowling with JK Rowling, and attended an odd party with Todd Carty."

"Yeah, it was funny story actually. They were, uh, they used the film camera, okay? First time I went out with the guy actually, they had come to Florida because it was like a contest or something, um, he was filming me try a trick, and he was, like, pulling off the film."

"Last time we did lose Sushi when we first moved into this house, but she was in a cupboard."

Every once in a while I'm asked what's the creepiest thing a kid has ever said to you, and this is always my response: "My son used to say things like, 'In former times when I was older,' usually followed by something older people would say."

"It just pushes them to the underground where they are put in the hands of violent people so yeah that's that's bored though you have stabbed it you have a wonderful anecdotes about prostitutes LSD and everything else."

"You can't remember that you've lent somebody a stuffed raccoon."

"Last person that sat in the seat was Mike the cop."

"You used to be quite a shot with an air rifle. Remember the time you shot the hole at old Scoogie Silk Hair?"

"I grew up with these stories of my granddad traveling the world, showing us pictures, and doing some mad stuff like getting locked up in Mexico."

"Eagles fans are insane and it's like big Jay has all the stories of because he loves the Eagles sure so his stories of things he watched Philly idiots do are hilarious."

"Everyone has had some experience with something weird, something that they want to tell you about."

"So I tell some funny stories in the book about civility on the court to try and illustrate what I think of as civility."

"They talk about times they have been mugged off or have mugged off people."

"You don't know how many times the sound guy would set up a mic for me in front of Walter."

"Trend following by Michael Coville; fantastic anecdotes of developers and Traders."

"So that's just the first of many many stories I have for you today..."

"Is it true Tiesto and Martin Garrix crashed their yacht into your boat? It was funny, yes. It was very fun, it was very crazy."

"That's like did you guys hear the story about Joe Maddon, the manager for the Angels? They were on a 12-game losing streak and he shaved a mohawk into his head to try to loosen up the vibes and they fired him before he could show it."

"He told her that if you tickle it, it jumps out halfway across."

"Well, I've made it to the ferry, an interesting development. The man that checked my tickets looked at this car and went, 'Hmm, do you mind if it gets scratched?'"

"My life has been filled with some interesting events and interludes."

"Did you hear the Stephen Che little dicky story? He, like, stole a meatball sub or something like that, and you beat the [ __ ] out of him. Please, I screenshot that's it, can you not [ __ ]?"

"There have been some disastrous interviews. One time we had Ozzy Osbourne on the phone and everyone started chuckling."

"Donny Baker's mom Phyllis, that's the stepmom, of course, dated a breakdancer named Wayne who had to wear a neck brace because he kept getting hurt."

"So many of the best, most ridiculous pieces of MC5 lore can be filed under the subtitle The Marvelous Misadventures of Dennis and Wayne."

"This person in Tennessee did six persimmons and all six were spoons we did five and all five were spoons."

"You will look back and tell your husband and kids about that one boyfriend who vandalized your friend's car."

"I was sad I didn't have a bidet that day."

"I got a lot of funny tales to tell about going to death metal and black metal shows."

"What I really love about history are the little stories that are a little weird and that kind of help you to get to understand the time and place a little bit more intimately."

"That's the best. The one time it wasn't on anybody's dime they gave me a $4,000 check and I realized that there was one dude who was with us that I invited just to be nice and he ordered like a $600 bottle. Shut the [ __ ] up."

And his parents, they had two cars. They had a 1957 Mercury, and they had a 1954 Mercury. And sometimes Chris would ask his parents if he could borrow the car. But on this night, for some unknown reason, his mother, Opal, she said, "No, you're not getting the car."

"I'm still reeling from that time grandma wore a hot to trot shirt to church."

"There's a pretty famous story that we've talked about before with Kevin Nash working with Mabel and a back injury where he felt like Mabel didn't take care of him."

"The thing you scored the most points for was telling a story about an onset prank."

"'Savio has a twin brother,' Dutch Mantel told me. I never knew this until he told me when we were all together in TNA wrestling. His name is Amal. But if you've seen one, you've seen them all, right?"

"There's a lot of funny things that happened, I feel like people might like this."

"Life just happened, I got some stories of rock."

"He played every single heard about that yeah and he only lost 2500 we have heard about that that's gonna get you in the most games."

"I have stories for days about just things that have happened to me and experiences and all kinds of story times."

"It wasn't just a fart, no, it was a shark."

"I never knew that, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why Jules don't go to the race with him anymore."

"...the most like craziest thing that has happened between like us."

"Failure is where I have the funniest stories."

"Love hearing about your shrimp capades."

"It's great to even just like with Norm especially for me like you constantly hear new stories and it's like the content even though he's not producing new stuff you learn different aspects."

"Uncle John is the Original Pizza weed dude... no, he would trade it for weed."

"Jimmy's definitely got stories for sure and they're very interesting."

"Here's my question to you out of all the guys you've had how many of them said no I haven't owned a home most of them yeah most of them oh okay."

"London... Yeah, I went there once but I got lost in Barcelona for like a full day. No, it doesn't sound like fun at all, but uh, you know, Barcelona looks like a lovely place."

"My dad was like to pick up the guy on the side of the road dad like he did like he didn't pass a guy and not pick him up right."

"This is the stories you love to tell."

"I don't have like a crazy poop story."

"The comments will be full of really interesting information and anecdotes."

"He liked to include everybody sometimes far too many when he started packing them in his car riding around the ranch and he'd have to let somebody else in Johnson City and then tell him he'd be back in 20 minutes and sometimes he forgot him."

"Yeah, my dad's telling you anecdotes."

"Back when I was going on dates in Provo circa 2010, a dude I had just met said in this super smooth manner, 'I want to take you to my favorite place.' It ended up being hot chocolate at 7 11."

"We are God damn it, now okay. So listen, so you're in Nashville now. Now what people don't know is that we've hung out many, many, many, many, many, many times."

"There's always an interesting story to be told at the dinner table."

"I saw Willie yesterday. He had his teacup, he had a jug of tea, a tupperware, and he looked at us and said, 'Y'all want to hear my side impersonation?' Like, sure. He goes, 'Good.'"

"Who'da thunk a guy who just talks into a microphone all day could have such crazy stories?"

"I'm just reading all the times that you Slade he totally lost it when Zoey played a spider prank on him and it was too cute when he had a full-on fangirl freaked out about seeing Biebs think sir whenever he's super supportive of his Bey Zoey so lucky."

"But for now I want to tell you another one of my mom's stories."

"Elton was having a party the next night but we were so rowdy the first night he told the record company, 'Make sure you don't invite those Kiss guys to my party.'"

"I have never met any drinker in my entire life or known anybody that has seen things off of a few beers. I feel like that's important to note when I tell this story."

"He had a smile man, he had a [__] stories, he had, you know, those true, those Charlie Murphy True Hollywood stories."

"I almost got in one fight in my senior year."

"An accumulation of anecdote is evidence."

"In year eight, I managed to chop my thumb off in a door at school."

"Life after life: collecting 20,000 anecdotes of near-death experiences."

"Bono did once pay $1,700 to have his favorite trilby flown first class to a concert in Italy."

"People going off on tangents and telling stories and anecdotes is actually what people enjoy the most."

"Everything started because something really funny happened."

"These anecdotes provide a vivid and at times strange picture of a government that left an indelible impression on the world stage."

"It's full of really funny little anecdotes."

"I love Paris, I got great stories and observations."