Best Jokes Quotes | Quotelers

"It's amazing how poop and fart jokes... they're timeless, classic comedy."

"All right, why don't eggs tell jokes? They crack each other up."

"Do we want to live in a country where people can go to jail over jokes?"

"The funniest jokes are the ones with pure intention."

"What do you call a frog that's illegally parked? You guys, this one is rich. Toad. Toad."

"Everybody has their boiling point where a joke is no longer funny for them because it pushes the limit."

"I haven't laughed at a good stepsist joke in so long."

"I'm standing by that joke even though it was a joke."

"I was literally just thinking if you combined those, like, a unicorn walks into a bar, sounds like the setup for a joke."

"Your mum jokes? I think they're brilliant. Your mom's so stupid, she stared at a carton of apple juice for 12 hours because it said concentrate."

"I love a good joke, but it's got to be tasteful."

"The chicken wanted to get to the other side."

"What did the snowman say to the snow woman? Snowballs."

"Karen's on the loose, Karen's about the loose in her tooth."

"I'm here to make jokes. I have no agenda. I'm not trying to get anything accomplished."

"You just gotta love a bus driver that has so many dad jokes up his sleeve."

"That's what success looks these jokes might just be what get me in the door mm-hmm I might invent a cryptocurrency or some [ __ ] and be like the black Elon Musk or something [ __ ]"

"What are you gonna use for whiskers? Onions."

"Refill you up with plenty of witty remarks, jokes, dad jokes, unique jokes, sweet jokes."

"I think it's such an easy way to get laughs. There's such easy laughs and such easy jokes."

"Americans are pretty good at the dad jokes."

"Did it feel like I got mouths to feed, like I got people coming? Get some jokes ready for Bill Burr."

"Who's the originator of this joke? Like, who was the first one? And yeah, how does that person get that credit?"

"There's jokes everywhere. You just gotta find it."

"This is certified flames all, this is Oppenheimer status, let the corny dad jokes flow."

"It's very funny, Momma got jokes."

"Sweeping it under the rug is... is my... I guess where I have the most fun writing jokes, you know?"

"Would you rather get hit with a 'd's nuts' joke like every other sentence?"

"Why was the broom late to work? 'Cause it overswept!"

"Just your mom jokes were funny back in the day but like, your mom wears shin pads to Moscow, stuff like that."

"Owen used to pull ribs on everybody and he kept the whole crew laughing whether you're in the ring."

"Three to four jokes a day by the end of a week you'll have 15 minutes and all that you know, something like that."

"Big disclaimer, these are all jokes."

"The jokes were spaced out in such a way that it gave you a chance to kind of recoup and get ready for the next joke."

"The humor of the show can be both a slow burn, taking a while for a satisfying payoff, but if you pay attention to the little small talk the characters engage in, you may notice little hidden jokes all over the place which are absolute gutbusters."

"A lot of the jokes are coming at his expense."

"I feel like the funniest joke so far have been the S like more unintended unexpected jokes."

"It's okay to make jokes about somebody's politics. I mean, that happens all the time. It was more about her race, and I think that is way out of line."

"Dad jokes, where do these jokes come from? It's like, oh my God, there's an account 'Dad Says Jokes' and they are... Is it by you, Ned? I wish. I'm not on this, this is like Ninja level dad jokes."

"Yeah, if you've ever sat down and written a joke you know that there's a process to it. It's data input, right? You just take a thing and then you do the wrong answer. That's the funniest."

"People are more offended by jokes about war, famine, and murder than actual warfare."

"Just be, we still laugh at, like, funny corny jokes or whatever."

"We are, after all, we are animals. The thing I try to do a joke one time, it didn't work. All of the woke settlers were killed by Native Americans."

"How much just one really good joke worth? Um, excuse like six or seven misses."

"I remember one joke. I wish I could tell it well, okay."

"I went into a French restaurant the other day, I said to the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes.' I said, 'Well, hop over and give us a chip, buddy!'"

"...the only time I want to wear is if I want to stomp on a cuz I'm kidding we do not promote violence around here."

"It's like imagine being racist by making like, racist stereotypes and jokes."

"Sometimes Consciousness plays Evil jokes on us."

"Laughter is the best medicine. You absolutely must tell her some jokes."

"...the jokes don't die, they live on for such a long time."

"I don't care how old you are, I think fart jokes will always be funny."

"Everyone just forgets that jokes are allowed."

"There's nothing controversial with that because it's just jokes. It's nothing we don't do. It's not as bad as the [ __ ] we've said today."

"there's an official Minecraft joke book filled with hilarious Minecraft jokes"

"Every time we crack a joke, I look at him and just laugh. I'm not even bullshitting, that's pretty true."

"If you like this, look, I'm telling shitty jokes because that's what we do here..."

"Fiona encourages Cake to 'Buck him up, girl,' our very first dirty joke of the new series."

"What is the funniest joke in Britain? Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom. Doctor, I'm afraid it's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Your jokes are funny dude. And some of the stuff you guys are saying, I think it aligns with some of my beliefs as well."

"The chair who? Can we carry that one on? The chair who... no, who's there? The light bulb."

"Do the jokes ever stop? Like no, they're impossible with him, right? To not just keep making jokes about the Deep. Oh my God, going deep, rock bottom, especially."

"That joke was awesome! How come SpongeBob and Krabs don’t laugh at this joke? It was rated 'Arrr!'"

"Food just brings out the dad joke in me, mystic duck."

"We had [__] ready to [__] you got to have jokes you got to have jokes."

"Wonder Twins, what? That was an April Fool's joke."

"...what do you call a cow with no legs? I don't know, ground beef..."

"People with appetite but no hunger are jokes."

"Let's tell him two Nephrology jokes to make him happy: What do nephrologists say to non-compliant patients? You're in trouble. What happens to nephrologists who smoke marijuana? They get kidney stoned."

"If you like jokes about traveling, may I interest you in a little platform called Netflix?"

"Would you like to hear a joke? I hate jokes."

"One idea that Emanuel had, so I don't know if y'all know this, but you guys know I love the dad jokes and I love the puns. If you watch Wild 'N Out, you know he loves the corny dad jokes as well, so he was like, 'Let's just try and come up with a bunch of puns while we eat.'"

"...I made more jokes and they still laughed good naturedly."

"Agreed. Get the dad jokes in the bin."

"Not a single joke missed they were all so funny they were all funny in different ways."

"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead."

"There's always time for new jokes."

"I like that there is always time for new jokes."

"At least our scene was focused and wasn't just a bunch of [__] jokes."

"Everyone should turn around because all the jokes flew over your head and they're on the wall behind you."

"Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in grease."

"Hey, I'm reading a book about antigravity. It's impossible to put down."

"I don't want you to know jokes. That's why there's people cuz I'm bringing them into the joke."

"They specifically wrote the jokes for your personality, and Caroline does all of her own jokes."

"I love this, Paul's become a sort of 'vast of logical jokes'."

"Some jokes are well done. Bad jokes are rare."

"There's also a few, in Christopher Gardner Fashion, there's a few jokes along the way."

"What did the ocean say to the beach? Um, nothing, it just waved."

"Man, people get upset, this is jokes man, just jokes here."

"Things between the jokes, that's a comedy album."

"We're the only animal that tells each other jokes."

"This has probably sparked off more jokes and conversations and spin-off videos than any other riff ever."

"You don't joke about breaking a sacred contract."

"I once again thought the jokes were fantastic."

"What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of profound questions? A Philosoraptor, that is a good one."

"At this point, you know what? This reminds me of the thing. All right, next one. This joint is sweaty. Okay, I'm literally sweating bullets right now."

"How many people seem to be laughing these jokes around here?"

"Horror films have become jokes. They're so removed, self-referential, referring back to other films."

"Yes, if you've told that joke many, many times, but it doesn't stop being funny, right?"

"Dude, when a girl says, 'tell me a joke,' the standards are so low that you could hit 'em with a literal f***ing popsicle stick joke and she's like, 'kind of clever!'"

"Jokes are jokes at the end of the day."

"Knock knock who's there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, wha--oh, that was long. A good one."

"This will lift your day. It's 101 of the world's funniest one-liners."

"I hope you can handle all my jokes."

"Welcome to puns and dad jokes, here for your entertainment today."

"You want to hear the oldest joke? Oh yeah, yeah, he slowed himself down, that was actually pretty funny."

"What do you call a white-tailed deer with no eyes? No idea."

"How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove Jimmy's funny."

"I'm a snarky guy, I love jokes and practical ones at that."

"Why do melons have weddings? Because they can't elope."

"How does Moses make his coffee? He brews it."

"What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing, they fast."

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."

"I feel like Michael Scott when he's like, 'I love inside jokes. I hope to be part of one someday.'"

"It's okay to make funny jokes, it's okay to make funny memes."

"What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Do you think he saw us?"

"I say I've got the money, so I'll crack the jokes."

"How did the hamburger introduce his wife? He said, 'Meet Patty.'"

"So you guys hear any good jokes lately? What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. Ha ha."

"Why did the ice cream cone carry an umbrella? Because there was a chance of sprinkles."

"I make jokes for me; I laugh at my own jokes."

"Why was the skeleton laughing? Because he had funny bones."

"How do you know your watch is hungry? It goes back four seconds."

"Where do we keep all our dad jokes? In a database."

"You automatically get all these dad jokes imported."

"Can you tell I write these jokes myself?"

"I think it's fun to have fun. I love jokes and I love appreciation."

"If towels could tell jokes, I bet they would have a dry sense of humor."

"How many tickles do you have to give an octopus before it laughs? Ten tickles."

"If it has to be explained, jokes can't be explained."

"He was always telling jokes, always finding the humor in situations."

"What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hairline."

"What do you call a fish that's missing an eye? Fsh."

"What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me."

"The best jokes are the real ones."

"Call me nuts, call me corny, but I am a sucker for them knock-knock jokes."

"She was also very fond of jokes and would have the wittiest comebacks at times!"

"Why did the bullet lose its job? It got fired."

"My jokes are quality jokes, and I just want some appreciation for my jokes."

"Love the dad jokes. Have you heard about the evaporated man? He will be missed."

"I was going to tell you a joke about an egg, but it wasn't all it's cracked up to be."

"If you put three ducks in a crate, what do you have? A box of crackers!"

"Always cracking jokes, keeping it light."

"It's all just friendly good-natured funny jokes."

"How did the laughing bird's eggs hatch? They cracked up."

"Why did the 'R' run away from the 'A'? Because it was a pirate."

"Where do rainbows go when they get arrested?"

"Having a mental catalog of great jokes that most people hadn't heard was so much fun."

"There's a small amount of truth in every joke."

"Why did the cat laugh at the dinosaur jokes? Because he found his jokes to be dino-mite!"

"Why can't melons get married? Because they can't elope."

"There's going to be lots of humor, lots of light-hearted humor, maybe a dad joke or two."

"Most jokes work through an experience of what we can call incongruity."