The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4 Quotes
"After hearing the disgusting noises from downstairs last night, I have also vowed never to drink alcohol."
"Just my luck to have it where everybody can see it."
"If I had it, I would go all over the country and have an experience."
"Now my mother has got the flu. This means that I have to look after them both."
"My grandma let the dog out of the coal shed."
"My mother is better now, so why he keeps coming round is a mystery to me."
"It’s time I fell in love, after all I am 13¾ years old."
"Pandora! I adore ya. I implore ye Don’t ignore me."
"I have decided against medicine for a career."
"It is a terrible thing to hear your own mother swearing."
"But I don’t suppose Malcolm Muggeridge’s wife is either."
"From now on I shall treat pigs with the contempt they deserve."
"When I go to university I may study the problem."
"Heard my father say ‘goodnight’, to the car."
"Mr Cherry gave me two back copies of Big and Bouncy."
"Why couldn’t I have been born Prince Edward and Prince Edward been born Adrian Mole?"
"My father got his car back from the garage today."
"Intellectuals like me are allowed to be interested in sex."
"I don’t see why he should lie stinking in bed all day when I am up and about."
"Nigel said he saw Mr Scruton smoking them in the staff room at dinner-time, but surely this can’t be true?"
"The only time he laughs is when those advertisements for electric storage heaters are shown on television."
"I was sitting in front of grandma’s electric coal fire eating dripping toast and reading the News of the World. There was a good play on Radio Four about torturing in concentration camps. Grandma was asleep and the dog was being quiet. All at once I felt this dead good feeling."
"I am proud to report that I have been made a school-dinner monitor. My duties are to stand at the side of the pig bin and make sure that my fellow pupils scrape their plates properly."
"I saw the estate agent’s minion putting the board up. I hope the new people are respectable."
"I was amazed to hear that he had come to turn off our electricity! My father owes £95.79?. I told the official that we needed electricity for life’s essentials like the television and stereo, but he said that people like us are sapping the country’s strength."
"My father just looked sad and old. I felt dead sorry for him."
"It was just like old times with everybody shouting at once."
"Didn’t get up until half-past four this afternoon. I think I am suffering from depression."
"He said that vets spend half their working life with their hands up cows’ bums, and the other half injecting spoiled fat dogs."
"I wouldn’t mind being a sponge-diver, but I don’t think there is much call for them in England."
"Our house is letting the street down. All my father has done is pin a Charles and Diana tea towel to the front door."
"Fancy giving my present money to a filthy, idle beggar! Even our postman was disgusted."
"How proud I am to be English! Foreigners must be as sick as pigs!"
"I am reading Sex, The Facts, by Dr A.P. G. Haig."
"Normally they get a petition up if you clear your throat after eleven o'clock at night!"
"Pandora, the beggar’s friend, is coming home tomorrow."
"How clever it was of her to arrange a reverse-charge call from Tunisia!"
"My father refused a reverse-charges call from Tunisia. Our lines of communication have been cut."
"I rang Tunisia whilst my father was in the bath. He shouted down to ask whom I was phoning. I told a lie. I said I was phoning the speaking clock."
"Bert told some lies about the war, my father told jokes. The party went on until one o’clock in the morning!"
"I didn’t dance, I was an amused, cynical observer. Besides my feet were aching."
"It is ‘an inestimably important document’ according to the cover."
"Progress, Coexistence and Intellectual Freedom is inestimably boring, according to me, Adrian Mole."
"I am being admitted to Ivy Swallow Ward at 2 PM Greenwich Mean Time."
"I am dressed like a lunatic, ready for the operation."
"I am sick of listening to (and watching) drunken nurses and off-duty policemen cavorting around the grounds dressed as witches and wizards."
"I am in my own bed. Pandora is a tower of strength. She and I communicate without words."
"Today I croaked my first words for a week. I said, ‘Dad, phone mum and tell her that I am over the worst’."
"Dr Gray says my malfunctioning voice is ‘only adolescent wobble’. He is always in a bad mood!"
"I told her I wouldn’t mind her having a little job in a cake shop or something after our wedding, but she said she intended to go to university."
"The trees are stark naked. Their autumnal clothes litter the pavements."
"Hi Kids, Well here’s your very own school magazine. Yes! Written and produced entirely using child labour."
"I tried to point out to him that one thousand five hundred words on bicycle spokes was pure self-indulgence, but he wouldn’t listen."
"My mother phoned and wanted to speak to my father. I told her that he is on a fishing weekend with the Society of Redundant Electric Storage Heater Salesmen."
"She doesn’t want to marry me in two years’ time! She wants to have a career instead!"
"My mother and father were still in bed when I left for school."
"I came home from school with a headache. All the noise and shouting and bullying is getting me down!"
"I am in an experimental Nativity play at school. It is called Manger to Star. I am playing Joseph."
"I keep having nightmares about the bomb. I hope it isn’t dropped before I get my GCE results in August 1983."
"The suburban houses were a dead loss. People shouted, ‘Come back at Christmas’, without even opening the door."
"I can’t stand much more emotional stress. I am up to my ears in it already what with studying hard and vying with Tony Benn for Pandora’s attention."
"I am seriously thinking of giving everything up and running away to be a tramp. I would quite enjoy the life, providing I could have a daily bath."
"I am a committed radical. I am against nearly everything."