The Happy Family Quotes
"When I think about my mother, I mostly think about the crying."
"I mean, I can definitely be a bit forgetful at times, but even I’d struggle to mislay a whole actual person."
"What does it matter that she has a big birthday coming up?"
"It’s not as if I’m suddenly going to get a party invite in the post, is it?"
"The laughter follows me down the corridor as I – feeling thankful that I’m still only forty."
"The idea that I might have a stalker, some sort of crackpot secret admirer, is faintly ludicrous."
"Life is too short to stress about payroll blips or IT issues."
"I need to get on. I climb into the car and start the engine."
"Every choice we make in life has consequences, doesn’t it?"
"I’m still single, of course, but that’s fine too. For now, at least."
"My mother is back. What does anything else matter?"
"My dad, who just days ago was laughing and sharing a drink with his pal in Holly Tree’s bar. Now he’s a tiny white-faced version of himself."
"I have to tell him, don’t I? Just in case … just in case he dies, and never knows…"
"‘Mum? Alissh?’ He slurs the name but he’s clearly understood."
"‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘I’m so sorry. And I’m saying that to him, as well as you, Beth.’"
"John? John? It’s me. Alice. Can you hear me?"
"‘I’m so sorry again about your dad,’ she says. ‘But it’s such insane news about your mum.’"
"I’ve brought Crooked House, Endless Night, and a couple of Poirots – Third Girl and The Clocks. Are they OK?"
"Like when I broke my friend Luke’s Nerf and I was scared to go back to his house for ages in case he was really cross?"
"I was very sad back in those days, Finley. I had some grown-up problems, and I needed to go away and sort them out."
"It’s fine, honestly. Just need a good night’s sleep."
"I was desperate to find out every detail of her life over the past thirty years, I’m trying to take it slowly."
"‘I have had a good life, but that makes me feel so guilty,’ she said."
"But talking of parents, how are you feeling, really, about your mum suddenly coming back?"
"I have had a good life, but that makes me feel so guilty."
"‘Well, I’m seriously impressed by how much you managed to fit in it,’ I say."
"‘I think he fancied himself as a sort of German Damien Hurst,’ she said. ‘But the place stank so badly they had to offer people facemasks drenched in perfume at the door. I mean, talk about shit art …’"
"I haven’t seen my mother for thirty years; I’d briefly told her the story of Mum’s disappearance as we drank tea together one day not long after she started working for me."
"I’m fine, honestly. Just need a good night’s sleep."
"I'm crying for all those lost years, for the little girl without a mother, for the mother who was so unhappy that she did the unthinkable and walked away and has never forgiven herself."
"I soap my body slowly, massaging my legs and stomach, arms and breasts, enjoying the sensation of the warm water on my skin and feeling more relaxed than I have in weeks."
"It’s Saturday again, thank goodness. It’s been a funny old week, my days madly busy at work and my head all over the place."
"Eloise is sitting opposite Mum, a book propped up against the milk jug in front of her."
"I’m wondering now if Nadia came into mine to help me appreciate everything I’ve got, and speculate again if there’s some way I can help her, properly help her. I just don’t know how."
"Nature knows exactly what it’s doing, even if nobody else does."
"I’ve always loved being outdoors, loved this time of year when winter finally gives way to spring."
"As I lie in bed, kicking off the duvet to try to cool my hot, weary body, I remember the face at the patio window, that small white outline, wide eyes staring at me, and my stomach clenches."
"I’ve just accused Robin of trying to hurt my children. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?"
"Yes, I paid. But … officially? Formally? Publicly? No. No, I didn’t."
"This is my real punishment. It’s what I deserve, I know that, but how can I survive this?"
"She died, at thirteen years of age, because of me. Because of the things I said, the things I did."
"I’ve lost them, and now I get it. This is it. This is my real punishment."
"My children may still be alive, but I’ve lost them, haven’t I?"
"I knew it was me. And her family knew it was me too."
"I knew that I’d killed her just as surely as if I’d put that noose around her neck myself and pulled it tight."
"He sounded so scornful, so full of contempt, that I actually wince, as if he’s just punched me in the stomach."
"I’m sobbing now, flinging the phone across the room and hearing it crash against the wall."
"The only moving part of me is my chest, pumping up and down, up and down. I’m starting to hyperventilate."
"I’ve been sorry every day of my life since and the burden of this dark, abhorrent secret has dragged me to the very depths of despair more times than I care to remember."
"I can’t even remember why really. I know it as well as my shoe size. But this doesn’t make any sense."
"It’s almost as if I don’t care anymore, and all that matters now is getting through each day and hoping that one day soon my life can restart."
"But now, despite Gabby’s warnings, it’s every night, and most days too, if I’m honest."
"She knew I’d be devastated, I think. She knew I’d need their support."
"Now, I sit here huddled in the corner of the sofa. The daylight is fading and the far corners of the room are already shrouded in darkness, but I can’t even be bothered to get up to switch the lamps on."
"And I realise they’re saying my name and that’s what’s woken me up."
"I’m sorry, but if you’re absolutely sure about your blood type, it’s just not possible. This woman is not your mother."
"It’s confusing enough for me. I can’t imagine what’s going on in your head."
"And strangely, I really am. I feel freer somehow, even though I know what I’m about to do in the next day or so is, quite frankly, preposterous."
"That’s me, isn’t it? A lost bird, asking everyone and anyone. What am I doing?"
"But my mother is somebody I know. Remember that. I’ve got to do this."
"Are you my mother? You can’t be, surely? This is ridiculous …"
"‘What twits we are,’ I say. ‘We’ve wasted so much time.’"
"‘I’ve felt guilty every single day since,’ I whisper."
"Her greeny-grey eyes are filling with tears now and I stare at her, really looking at her for the first time."
"‘You’re not my mother. One down,’ I whisper, and she smiles and shakes her head."
"‘I’m not either, just for the record,’ says Brenda. ‘Two down then. Who’s next, Beth?’"
"I think about that now, as I finish the last of the Christmas cards and put my pen down. I’ll never forget Lucy; her face still haunts my dreams sometimes. But I’ll always be so thankful that I’ve been given this second chance, and I’m going to use it wisely – as wisely as I can."