It’s Not Me, It’s You Quotes
"It's like some nightmare alternate reality. I can't believe it myself."
"The amount students drink these days is disgusting, Stanley."
"That’s because they’re hairy old cornflakes who wouldn’t know humour if it dry-pumped them from behind with a strap-on while grunting their name."
"I know it’s going to take a huge effort to get past this, but please tell me we can."
"I don’t know who I’m with any more, so how can I know if I want to be with him?"
"It was you who put her into retirement, so you can get her out of retirement. You’re in charge, like, here."
"If there’s mischief to be made online, I often make it."
"Experience is overrated. Experience is what no one has to begin with, no matter how good they are. Attitude is everything."
"If something rolls to you too easy, it can roll away again just as easy."
"If she wanted kids, Paul was still probably the safer option than re-launching herself back into the dating scene in her mid-thirties, hoping to find another solid prospect."
"What makes you think you’re right for this role as a junior account manager? Confidence: how did you get it? How did you come by that extraordinary, life-transforming quality?"
"I made the first steps in gaining his trust here."
"Life is all about confidence, isn’t it? I know I have the ability. I lack the experience."
"If you start to feel something, meet him, as soon as possible. Otherwise it’s like you’re locked in that moment with someone right before you kiss, for far too long."
"It’s the game, isn’t it? It’s only money. They can only say no."
"In a city full of get up and go, it was impossible to feel part of things when you woke just as everyone had gotten up and gone."
"Hand-scribbled on a scrap of paper: ‘Twist & Sharp’."
"You are my Girl Fridays. I need you to do the admin, keep the clients happy, answer the phones, write the press releases, manage the media inquiries."
"I prefer to work with hard copies, they’re less easy to share or duplicate. This is our company bible. Protect it like a newborn."
"My campaigns are shock and awe. I’m a rainmaker."
"I’m appalled someone I was once close to would betray my trust like this."
"You’ll start to understand how I operate as we go along."
"Could it be this easy, after a lifetime of doggy paddling, to jump in the deep end, and swim?"
"It’s been six weeks. The time has come to find out your real name. You can’t seriously think the council would budget to send me to London as part of a long con to unmask you."
"This is fear, at heart? I have plenty of that."
"If I’d not run into Celine, I would’ve believed Paul, ultimately because I wanted to."
"I think this is the right move and you needed to make it. Whatever happens in the future."
"I don’t know. But it wouldn’t be a good death. In this situation, we recommend putting him down."
"We don’t know whether we want to protect you or defile you."
"I’m not sure if this is a lawyer attitude or not, but I know that very few people voluntarily make things worse for themselves, if they have a choice."
"We’re not around nice people. Alternate alcoholic drinks with water and combine with caution."
"He came on to you? Not the other way around? He wasn’t outside, locking up, when you approached him?"
"It’s only some fun, but it’s not fun to mess with people’s lives and I should never have done it."
"I’m going to call you in a sex. Please answer, it’s important I talk to you before you’re in the office."
"Everyone works their advantage, whilst Delia was an idealist who thought a truly penitent Paul should’ve held nothing back."
"Emma’s realism said everyone works their advantage."
"It’s not as if Cock Number Twelve is a magic key that unlocks the secrets of the erotic universe."
"The saltiness helps take away the taste of the whisky."
"I dress for me … and I’m a woman. So I suppose you’re right."
"Only that, in my revolution, he would not be spared."
"There are men with principles. Not among any men I’ve ever met. I saw one once in a film."
"I wonder if the cause of death was passive inhalation lung cancer."
"What kind of fucking world is it when a working man and private individual whose forebears fought in wars for this country, is put out like the fucking dog for wanting to enjoy the fruits of one of our most successful industries?"
"I’m bloody glad I’m off to my box, Lionel, because this world is only getting worse."
"What an absolutely stupendous pair of natties your secretary has on her."
"I’d like to see the launch of those torpedoes on my HMS Dreadnought."
"Lionel Blunt was a bon viveur and raconteur – and other euphemisms for ‘functioning alcoholic’."
"Thank God there are some real men left in this country to fight our wars."
"Let’s just say painting a face on her arse and teaching her to walk backwards would’ve been a fool’s errand."
"You’re an irresistible bouncy castle party for any red-blooded gent."
"Delia sat in mute shock. The idea was, to use Kurt language, to ‘throw some glitter’ and ‘valourise’ Lionel Blunt’s image."
"Kurt would put two and two together about who the tipster was."
"I was so proud of getting that job, too. My visa depended on it, so that was that. It was a real tail-between-legs moment, coming home so soon."
"The California-led craze for kale isn’t dying down anytime soon."
"He stole poppadoms from my hand last time we got takeaway curry."
"Moments later he runs back in from the kitchen with bright orange whiskers and we realise he’s been motorboating the tandoori chicken."
"She’s vulnerable and been hurt by her adulterous boyfriend and hasn’t worked out how many lies he’s told her."
"If you’d met Nanny Bootle you’d understand why. The woman’s face could sour milk."
"I think sometimes you have to do wrong to do what’s right. It’s not ruthless if someone deserves it."
"You know how you’ve been with loads of people."
"You want that more than you want this. There’s nothing more to say."
"I’m not about to duck under Kurt’s cordon and conduct a fingertip search!"
"You want to sleep with a man who wants you to enjoy it, and doesn’t check in as Mayor Of Your Ass on Foursquare."
"I think you gave Kurt too much of a jawline, mind."
"I want to be together for the rest of our lives. I want to marry you."
"It felt different now she had resurrected her part-time passion of The Fox."
"He’d get over it. He said he’d hurt other people."
"Delia never needed to wonder where she got her homebody urges from."
"Feeling the way you were supposed to couldn’t be accomplished through sheer force of will."
"She’d discovered that some friendships got longer without getting deeper."
"I’d only just begun working us out when Paul appeared …"