Night Watch Quotes
"Gods protect you, Vimes thought. Maybe it was true that the blow that had spread Snouty's nose across his face had scrambled his brain."
"You go up the stairs first," said Snouty, and reached down and picked up an efficient looking crossbow. "And if you even try to walk fast, mister, I'll shoot you, hnah, where you die slow."
"I want to make a complaint, sergeant," said Vimes.
"You," said Vimes. "And the Brothers Grin here. You're not doing it right."
"You shouldn't of stopped the Watch taking bribes, Mister Vimes. It means an easier life all round, haha."
"Me too. Couple of blokes tried to mug me where I lay. Me! I ask you, Mister Vimes! Still, they had some money on them, so that worked out all right."
"Out after curfew? No visible means of support?" said the sergeant.
"At the moment, hur, hur," said one of the men. He stopped when Vimes looked at him.
"A copper doesn't keep flapping his lip. He doesn't let on what he knows. He doesn't say what he's thinking. No. He watches and listens and he learns and he bides his time. His mind works like mad but his face is a blank. Until he's ready."
"If you try to offer me a bribe one more time, sir, I shall personally give you a thumping. Be told."
"For some reason, the Unmentionables both loved and feared paperwork. They certainly generated a lot of it. They didn't like appearing on other people's paperwork, though. That worried them."
"The whole of life is a learning process, lance-constable."
"We're playing this by the rules. You're going to have to learn why we have rules, lance-constable."
"What's a tuppenny upright, sarge? It's a kind of jam doughnut, lad. Did your mum ever make 'em?"
"I'm sure that when you have settled in you and Corporal, aha, Hamster here will get along like a…houseonfire."
"You did the job that was in front of you, like unimaginative coppers always did."
"He knew how to stand still, a talent that few possess, and how to merge into the shadows."
"All you could change was the bits around the edges, the fine details."
"In the sea of adventure, you're bottom-feeders."
"Don't you worry, Duke, I've told the boys about you and me."
"No one gets taken into this Watch House without me knowing why!"
"It was one thing to have a go at faceless bastards in uniform, but quite another to throw stones at old Fred Colon or old Waddy or old Billy Wiglet, who you'd known since you were two years old and played Dead Rat Conkers with in the gutter."
"Ninety per cent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact."
"People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case."
"Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions."
"Once you get troops on the streets, it's only a matter of time before it goes bad."
"The big sea does not care which way the little fishes swim."
"History finds a way. It's like a shipwreck. You're swimming to the shore. The waves will break whatever you do."
"We look and learn, Mr Maroon, we look and learn."
"There's just a few things we need to tell you."
"Everything really, really wants to stay where it should be."
"It takes a thousand steps to get to the top of a mountain but one little hop'll take you all the way back to the bottom."
"You can take our lives but you'll never take our freedom!"
"There's even bigger bastards than you, for a start."
"No," said Sweeper, "but it's another good lie. Look, commander, we don't have a damn great thunderstorm and we don't have enough stored time."
"Okay, but I've changed lots of things!" said Vimes. "Leave that to us," said Sweeper.
"You only get one question, Ned," said Vimes, fighting the moment of nausea.
"You're nicked, my ol' chum," he said. And then it all went black.
"I'm fine," croaked Vimes, through a throat that felt stuffed with sand. "Where's Carcer?"
"Ah," muttered Vimes. "Well, he's come back somewhere. Somewhere close, probably."
"No, don't," said Vimes. "He'll keep. After all, where's he going to go?"
"Did it feel longer?" said Ponder, taking out a notebook. "A bit," Vimes conceded.
"Of course, but you realize that you have no clothes on—" Vimes gave up. People always wanted explanations.
"What's happened to Sybil?" Willikins backed away. A bear would have backed away.
"I'll teach him to walk!" beamed Vimes. "I'm good at teaching people to walk!"
"And then, afterwards, I took a look at John Keel. It was John Keel. How could there be any question about that?"
"How long were you there?" he demanded. "Oh…some little while," said the Patrician.
"Then I'm saying nothing." "I cannot imagine what you could say," said Vetinari.
"We'd have been just as happy with a daughter," said Vimes, quickly.
"Afterwards I'm going home to my family for a while," said Vimes.
"That's sergeant-at-arms, thank you," said Vimes. "For now."
"The machine ain't broken, Carcer. The machine is waiting for you," he said, tearing a sleeve off the man's own shirt.
"You know, you're right there, Carcer!" Vimes managed to get both the man's wrists in a steel grip.
"Good evening, your grace," said Lord Vetinari. Vimes spun around.