My Best Friend's Exorcism Quotes
"For Abby, 'friend' is a word whose sharp corners have been worn smooth by overuse."
"But she remembers when the word 'friend' could draw blood."
"No longer would she be Flabby Quivers. Before the eyes of everybody in her class she would become Abby Rivers, Skate Princess."
"Out on the floor they were playing 'Open Arms' by Journey and all the big kids were skating past the Plexiglas window that looked into the private party room, and Abby knew they were laughing at her because she was alone on her birthday."
"Everyone wanted to go to Margaret Middleton’s plantation because Margaret Middleton had horses, and Abby was a stupid moron if she thought people wanted to come see her skate."
"I don’t like horses, they smell bad. And I don’t think Margaret Middleton is a nice person."
"Horses are stupid. Everyone thinks they’re neat, but their brains are like hamster brains and if you make a loud noise they get scared even though they’re bigger than we are."
"I’ll teach you how to skate if you want. I’m really good."
"I just really, really need a Diet Coke, right? That’s okay if I have a Diet Coke?"
"No one was allowed inside Abby’s room. It belonged to a different house, one she’d built herself, with her own money and hard work."
"You can only see them when the light hits at a certain angle."
"Sometimes a clueless dork would ask why she looked like a clown."
"Every hour she spent chilling in this giant freezer was another four dollars in her bank account."
"It was a pretty uneventful shift until around four thirty, when the telephone rang."
""Blood," Gretchen said. "Everything’s covered in blood.""
""I’m sorry I bugged you," Gretchen said. "Go work.""
""Gretchen won’t be coming to school today," she said."
""Get OFF me," Gretchen yelled, twisting away."
""Someone keeps touching the back of my neck," Gretchen said."
""You wish!" Wallace said, and even Mrs. Massey sitting at the end of their row laughed."
""Stop it!" Gretchen shouted, standing up and turning around, face flushed."
""Quiet!" Coach Greene shouted. "Am I boring you, Miss Lang?"
""Stop it!" Gretchen shouted, "Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!""
""Don’t," she begged. "Please don’t leave me alone."
""I’m so tired," Gretchen said. "I just want to sleep."
"You can’t judge a book by its cover, but the cover does give you a pretty good indication of what’s inside."
"Sometimes God lets you hit rock bottom to show you that he is the rock at the bottom."
"I do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
"That voice is God, and he’s speaking to you, and he’s saying, ‘Dude, I’ve got this.’"
"Because then we have to deal with ourselves."
"Sometimes the hardest thing for us is when the sick person gets better."
"If I have to explain it to you, then we were never friends."
"Don’t leave me alone. I can’t do this on my own."
"I’ll save you, Gretchen. They can’t stop me from saving you."
"You don’t know who you’re talking to anymore."
"Don’t cry, Abby. Dogs are like cars. They’re cheap in the country."
"You’d better lock up all your windows and close all your doors. She’s coming."
"You always do what you’re told, especially when I’m the one telling you."
"You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have told."
"That’s up to her. An exorcism is a contest of wills between the demon and the exorcist."
"You have to enter the arena of diabolic battle armed only with faith, love, and the power of Jesus Christ."
"I need you in the room as my auxiliary, but you’re cherry, so I need you to follow my lead."
"Expertise, plans, strategies. None of those are any use in an intense exorcism-type situation."
"I command you, unclean spirit! Reveal to me your name."
"You are my reflection and my shadow and I will not let you go."
"I love you, Abby. You’re my best friend, and my mirror, and my reflection."
"I am coming for her and there is nothing you can do, because I will not stop, I will never stop."
"I can’t. I’m sorry, Gretchen, I can’t... I quit, I promise, I quit."
"I love you dearly and I love you queerly and no demon is bigger than this!"
"It wasn’t a coincidence that my brothers and I performed at your school that day."
"Halley’s Comet is coming around again in forty-six years. Do you think we’ll still be friends?"
"Abby Rivers and Gretchen Lang were best friends, on and off, for seventy-five years."