Funny Feelings Quotes
"When you put something into the world for others to judge, especially when you hope to entertain and elicit some kind of feeling from them, you know, logically, that it won’t be 'for' everyone. Creating something that does connect to someone, though, is an absolutely irreplaceable feeling."
"I have often found that comedy can be a truly healthy coping mechanism for me."
"You should never dismiss a person who is willing to lay a piece of themselves before you, in any art form, even if it’s just to make you laugh."
"To anyone who decides to take time out of their day to create something for someone else… What you do matters."
"I feel like a spark that’s been begging for tinder, and this room is one of those old-timey blowers that puffs and fans me until I’m ablaze."
"With each crescendo I think I might really make it, I am f-u-n-n-y."
"Meyer’s steadfast grumpiness is my tether. It lassos me, pulls me back into my own body and into the present rather than in my head."
"Trust me on that. Even the most sarcastic, irreverent people in your life have intensely sensitive sides, as well."
"Hazel loves to be in a room of laughter despite the lack of sound. And I think that’s why I fell in love with her, because she can feel it, can feel that energy around her and is just as addicted to it as I am."
"Anyone who is pathetic enough to let you being funny—or your career—get in the way of being with you doesn’t deserve you, Fee."
"You’re young, beautiful, and clearly have a bright future ahead of you."
"I am on the verge of officially making it, Meyer. Of positioning myself to do whatever I want in this business."
"I’ve conquered too much to get to this point, mastered too much doubt to make it here."
"The warmth from his hand travels up my arm, through my chest and the rest of me."
"Modern church is literally—and I mean every syllable of this—literally, like going to an Ed Sheeran concert, but for free, you guys."
"Comedians tend to be some of life’s most ardent observers."
"Making people forget that they’re sad. Bringing people together by making them laugh. It’s actually fucking beautiful, what you do."
"The worst moment of my life was made just a little less worse by a splatter of shit."
"Can I be an old woman for Halloween? That way, if anyone yells at me and I don’t respond, they’ll just think I’m being ‘method’?"
"Yes you do. It was like Girls Gone Wild meets the Purge."
"You’ve got to know that they all think you’re the hot, broody, single Dad, Meyer."
"Why do you always have to approach shit with logic, Meyer?"
"Having this entire conversation with you in a goblin mask was surprisingly productive."
"I’m not. And once they found out that we’re friends, they each pulled up a list that they’d compiled of people to potentially fix you up with."
"Serves you right for getting mad at the rain, Farley."
"Therapy is a condition of me working with you."
"You’re many things, Jones. Dumb isn’t one of them."
"I am all for poking fun at the man flu, but this man was truly sick."
"You’ve already heard the sound that comes out of me when I vomit. I can give you this."
"I realized that I had been using another human being to meet a need, all while having my heart occupied by another."
"It’s every girl’s wet dream to go apple picking in Fall."
"How can you be closed? It’s the height of Fall!"
"No, I wanted some kind of apple flavored drink, to feel some leaves crunch underfoot, and to eat some god damn pie."
"You need to get it together, old man. You are not sixteen. Be cool."
"What I don’t hear, I feel. What they lack in knowing I make up for in showing."
"All we can do is use our tools and what we feel, put our hearts into it, while keeping it good for ourselves, first and foremost."
"You know you have the best smile? It’s really hard not to automatically smile back."
"I want someone to love me enough to be completely stupid with me. To do something stupid like get married in Vegas. Or put it on one of those signs carried by a plane in the sky."
"You’re the only person I’ve ever been stupid with, Fee."
"I didn’t expect anything. Kinda sounds like you do, though."
"When it’s time to do something that terrifies you, always, always go first."
"I’m here to talk it out with you all and unpack this baggage because this just seems like a great place to air out all my shit, you know?"
"Fuck it, I’m smug, you guys. I. Am. Smug. And I don’t care who knows it! Because things are good."
"It’s either the subtle wallflowers, or the ones who know they’re sexy, and confident. It seems like you either have to have no idea how appealing you are, or you have to be fully aware of it and proud to embrace your power."
"Fuck your hobbies Andrew, I don’t care about what you love, what brings you contentment. No, give me the things you hate."
"If we go somewhere together and you don’t share my hatred for the bicyclists who are pedaling away on the god damn line and not in their lane, then already our night is off to a bad start."
"He’s always got Tums or Advil on him. He never wants to stay out too late. He goes to therapy."
"‘She’s so together, scheduled, organized, sure of herself’… Makes her sound like she’s not all that much fun, huh?"
"That night escalated to something dark and sinister, quickly, and I have a few theories as to why…"
"If I travel, change my coffee brand, look at my phone a second too long in the morning, or if a butterfly flaps its wings on the other side of the world, it will affect my digestive system."
"For once, when I find Meyer as soon as I exit the stage, it’s not his frown that ropes me in. It’s a lopsided smile with the little shake of his head."
"Fly Away Home is about a little girl who loses her mother. She then goes on to live with her Dad, who struggles to connect with her. She’s angry and lonely and feels isolated. They start to establish trust when her Dad lets her keep the geese and supports her caring for them. He builds her her own plane so she can fly with them."
"If being a dad has taught me anything, it’s that so much of the good stuff isn’t a product of my parenting at all, it’s pure dumb luck."
"Despite me telling them every year that they can, he and Hazel no longer cut down a real tree since I let slip how allergic I am to them. Instead, we created our own a few years back."
"I love her with something fierce and frightening, almost angry over any hypothetical thing in the world that might get in her way."
"‘Fee, that’s… that’s incredible.’ I smile as I picture her sitting peacefully in deference."
"‘I did my best, Fee,’ I sigh, before I admit, ‘I feel like this question game is counterproductive and with each answer I’m revealing something that makes you like me less.’"
"‘Not possible. And in a way, revealing your minuscule, arguably non-existent faults—let’s call them quirks, actually— makes me feel like we’re closer to even footing and makes me like you even more.'"
"You’re not as unstable as you think. I believe you’re just more honest than most people are brave enough to be. Especially at your own expense, Fee."
"‘I’m sorry I can’t stop laughing,’ I say through the maniacal sound, sucking down a breath through a hiccup. ‘Angel, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not laughing. You’re crying.’"
"You are prepared. You love this shit because it scares you. Because you’re damn good on your toes and you’re even better when you work from your mind."
"At the end of the day, Fee, you’re telling jokes. It’s in the job description. No one knows what’s true or not. No one knows that you’re giving them… you, when you’re up there."
"If you don’t want to, then don’t. If you do, then fuck them. It’s a good bit about how kids can bring out the best along with the worst in us. Do what feels true to you, though, don’t let me or anyone else persuade you otherwise."
"Can I hold you?" he asks, and I nod, my face making a swish, swish against the pillow.
"God is not a woman. At least not a sympathetic one, tonight."
"You will make an amazing, incredible mother one day."
"Before she went on stage. She got this real determined look and said to me ‘I’ll kick ass, Dad’. That was a bit off."
"She’s a fucking good comedian, Clay. That’s all there is to it."
"Because you’re mine. And I’m yours. Yours, yours, yours."
"I love you, Meyer. I think I knew I was going to love you from that first day I watched you stomp in puddles with a gaggle of seven year old girls."
"This is going to be a problem for us, My," she’d declared, sounding exasperated.
"Move in with me? Would you—would you want to live with Hazel and I?"
"In Vegas. I tried to tell you. I know I was drunk, but it only let loose what was already there."
"Becoming your friend was—is—the smartest thing I’ve ever done."
"So you don’t regret it, then? I couldn’t help but wonder, since you did put it in such a discreet area," I laugh because if I don’t, I’ll cry.
"I mean, I was drunk, but even in my state I knew if I showed up with something permanently inked on my skin to show you how I felt, it might feel a little manipulative," he quirks a brow down at me.
"Nah. I liked it better how it played out anyway. Like double the reward."
"I know." His palm slips to the base of my throat, shifting into the sign against my chest as he smiles into my lips. "I’ll see you in a few days."
"I kiss him like it’ll be a few years. Hold out my hand in the sign when he steps away from me."
"I don’t think I’ll ever not be reduced to tears when I imagine the largest of security guards breaking out into an operatic soprano of 'then you roll your tongue from the back to the front,' for as long as I live."
"As long as I remain true to myself, I know that my silly streams of words have the power to make someone’s day brighter."
"Sicker when I go to my bathroom and find her toothbrush still at my sink. On my side, even though there are two."
"I rub my at a spot on my chest when I think about how I asked her to live here, how happily shocked she’d looked."
"I imagine us taking Hazel to Europe, maybe to see that play we never got to see."
"Fee, I’m sorry for not talking to you first. There’s no excuse. But I hope you’ll let me explain myself, please. We promised that we wouldn’t lose each other and that we wouldn’t let this hurt Hazel. Please."
"I know that I now believe that rainstorms always precede something amazing because you came into our lives on the tail end of one."
"I believe that jumping in puddles is better than any fancy party, and I believe that I’ll fight for your love, for the honor of loving you, every day, for the rest of our lives."