"Did you know there are three types of sharks in this game? Loan sharks, card sharks, and the water sharks."
"I think it's pretty obvious I'm winging it. Get it? 'Cause planes have wings."
"What do you call monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates."
"If you're a security guard at Samsung, can you be called the Guardian of the Galaxy?"
"What do you call a bossy potato? A dictator."
"I try my best to incorporate an ocean pun here somehow, but I couldn't find a Pacific way."
"What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry."
"Why can't a nose be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot."
"What’s long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine!"
"Dad joke: What do you call a train carrying bubble gum? A choo-choo train."
"Rap might even be more challenging than poetry in some ways. Since you need to fit your lines to a rhythm and there's much more emphasis on wordplay."
"He was also a wordsmith who would play on words and tell you about the origin of words."
"What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud."
"What does a mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra."
"If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium."
"Believe in the impossible. The impossible actually contains the word possible inside it."
"Why did the crypto go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little Loch Ness."
"What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite."
"I'm gonna buy a boat, and I'm gonna name it The Election, and then rig it together. We'll rig it together."
"I used to be a doctor, but I lost my patience."
"We were in AP calc together, but we had chemistry."
"Why didn't the shark share its food? Because it was shellfish."
"If you did that using a latte with chocolate, that would be hocus-pocus with mochas."
"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You would think it would be 'R', but my first love be the sea."
"You think it'd be R, but it really be the sea."
"We all know Con's name. It's right there on Con's chain. But I'm a G. I replace that C. And now it's a gone chain."
"Wordplay is often not meant to be tapered down to one correct definition; it's meant to span multiple meanings."
"I tried to catch some fog earlier. I missed."
"Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? Nope, they eat the fingers separately."
"What's a zombie's favorite bean? A human bean."
"Hey, what do you call a dog that comes back from the dead? A zombone."
"What's a zombie's favorite shampoo? Head & Shoulders."
"Don't touch the banana peel over there; it's not very appealing."
"Thank you for being a platform for me to jump on, little gingerbread man."
"Let's take an elfie together. Get it? Because we're elves."
"All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies."
"Playing with words is a very clever way of doing all of this."
"In Dubai, they don't like the Flintstones but Abu Dhabi do."
"All right, why don't eggs tell jokes? They crack each other up."
"Why would a ghost go to a bar? For some booze."
"Let's get boo it. Get it? Boo it. Yeah, I don't know how I'm so hilarious. It's just a gift, I guess."
"It's not about wokefulness, it's about woefulness."
"Welcome to my crib, get it? Because, like, I'm in a house."
"Can we all be word Smiths? A recalibration, you know, just add like uh suffixes and prefixes to common words and you can make longer and longer words."
"The tweet says he has one eye missing, but the other eye is all right, all right, all right."
"Money doesn't grow on trees, but Apple does grow on fees."
"Why is the moon so hungry? Because it's only full once a month."
"MAGA might as well stand for Make Attorneys Get Attorneys."
"It's raining cats and dogs, don't step in a poodle."
"What do you call a frog that's illegally parked? You guys, this one is rich. Toad. Toad."
"I like your frustrate have frustrated you are and my little abbreviation of Argentina is argh so it's re vs. ESP."
"Why do they call it oven when you off in the cold food out of hot eat the food."
"You see the play on words with wi-fi and fire how it combines for wi-fi you know I love technology."
"With great power comes great probability. Close enough. High five!"
"Word to tampons, I'm the greatest rapper period!" - H Mack
"I'm the greatest rapper period! Like a bloody tampon, these rappers are not pregnant." - H Mack
"You can be underweight or you can be overweight but you can't be white."
"I come to you this week with very sad news: apparently they're not making the 12-inch ruler any longer."
"Every boss works for somebody, that's why they call it 'hire' and not 'get hired.'"
"Puns commonly formed the basis of dad jokes, which everyone loves or loves to hate."
"Remember, when you spell out the word impossible, what does it say? It says I'm possible."
"The typewriter itself wouldn't be stationary."
"Alphabet Pokémon where you can spell out words with it, that's just beautiful."
"I'm the type to kill a pacifist, or chemical combustion, I'm the analyst of metaphors and similes."
"Elevation means to raise up, depression means to lower, as in your jaw."
"My name is Dustin, sometimes I see Justin, I see dude thin, I see dirt then."
"I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and finally my fingers because I could always count on them."
"He may not be Jewish, but the drip is Israel."
"Pikachu is like mega Pichu, it's just an evolution, it's almost like you had a thought and the thought I thought wasn't the thought that I thought I thought but I thought thought, you know what it's funk a word."
"If I just realized like the first part of penal is exactly like penis, right?"
"Why couldn't the basketball stay in a relationship because it was always bouncing around."
"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A bummerang."
"What if the soy milk was just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?"
"That word fan, F a.m. or we gonna take the and turn that shit into an M."
"But wouldn't that be funny though? Compost dung to create compost, what an excellent sentence!"
"Sorry, I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."
"Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."
"Authors that take a phrase or a word and they change it a little bit to give Maximum Impact."
"The hay bale Castle castles are generally meant to stand out in their field."
"Because we want all the little completionists out there they really appreciate like everything that the team puts into these games."
"You can never have enough alliteration, so this game is full of amazing puns."
"You thought it was safe, my urine? Oh, you're in a real world of hurt."
"You can actually shift your state by moving your body physically, dancing to some music, or in this case just changing rooms."
"Can combine any two words to make a coherent alternative."
"Nothing is impossible, impossible means I'm possible."
"You know the word 'impossible' is in the word 'impossible'."
"They said it was impossible and then I had like a great quote about the word impossible saying 'I'm possible' and it was possible."
"All this hardware for Paul's hardware, it makes sense now."
"So this intentional date pun by Oda is undeniably and even disgustingly brilliant."
"This date pun is much more substantive because it's referencing the way that you would say one piece in Japanese directly as well as connecting it to the sound of a bell."
"Lit as it can get, okay, does that rhyme? Lit as it can get kind of rhymes, okay, cool."
"I'd rather my life be Scott full then Scott free."
"I’m not gonna bore you to death with the details of doing that every time, I just want it to be known that you can’t spell Suffering without U and I."
"Why are restaurants great places for networking? Because they have a lot of servers."
"Did you see that? That pun just gave me a moment of strength."
"Boom! You've got a G for gym or Gaim as I like to call it."
"I love that we finish each other's sandwiches."
"Looks like you've already had a holy night, my friend. Let's make it a silent night now."
"You can't spell Trump without a 'W', I mean what winning."
"If you work as security at a Samsung store would you be a guardian of the galaxy?"
"With great erections come great responsibilities."
"Why was it called the dark ages? Because of all the nights."
"This is my pitch for a series called 'Fart Marks.' It's an ironclad pun, maybe one of the most elegant and seamless puns I've ever heard."
"That's ill eagle, you're gonna need medical treatment."
"Surely I'll win Uno since I have Uno in my name, right?"
"Never a slender or a borrower be." - "She was a slender, slender indeed."
"Hernias make short boys think about stretching pivotal noodles, man."
"The guy who invented throat lozenges died last week, there was no coffin at the funeral, burrowed as usual with the puns."
"Let's call the goat Boat, because then we could get Boat to go in a boat, and then we name the boat Goat as well, just confuse everyone. Yes, yes, yeah, I'm good."
"Why is it called a party pack and not a fiesta pack? Fiesta is like an easy Spanish word to say."
"Next we're considering wordplay, verbal trickery, linguistic aerobics."
"There's no I in team, but there is an 'I' in Wayne."
"Donald Trump the D is missing because it's in every hater's mouth."
"I love how that rhymes: modification station."
"This is why they call them hangers and not placers."
"Cruise you lose, that's good and by you cruise I mean you."
"Baseball is wrong; man cannot walk with four balls."
"What's the best thing about Switzerland? Well, the flag's a big plus."
"The Beekeeper is that there's a lot of Buzz around this film."
"What's a dentist's favorite time of day to go home? Tooth-hurty, get it?"
"Does a polar bear weigh just enough to break ice?"
"Writing the word 'piss' on something is maybe the ultimate comedic move you can ever make."
"Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."
"Why can't Cinderella play basketball? Because she'll run away from the ball."
"Life is wins and losses, so you just roll with the punches, pun but you know."
"What's the deal with architecture? Why do they call them buildings when they're no longer in construction? They should be called bilts."
"Biking's fire. I think biking blocks here, viking walks."
"Definitely feels like something strong in this sense. Navy Army and Navy Army and Navy got Army in it."
"The C in chimps stands for literal continues."
"There's no I in happiness. There is if you spell it right."
"You met kids naked, and she thought you were a fun guy, being with you killed her harder than the fungi."
"Perfect, or should I say since we are cat Sonic, purrfect?"
"There's no 'I' in team, but there's two 'I's in Misty."
"Boredom is something up with which I will not put."
"Trouser... serves you right, don't need to trouser, you already are one."
"Literally the word nothing starts with an n and ends with g."
"Confirmation quickly becomes cope formation."
"If every time she walks you get up and answer the door, you mean she's making sign money as a kickstand?"
"Rotom's name is literally just the word motor spelt backwards."
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."
"Whether it's Food For Thought or thought for food."
"We need a unique solution, not a eunuch solution."
"Curry isn't soup, he's a basketball player, not wrong."
"Like I said, I got [ __ ] range. Accompaniment, a compliment. Oh, that is a compliment."
"Blender, Mixer. I don't know, they're all kitchen utensils!"
"So Ninja cashes out and Mixer as suddenly in the mix so to speak."
"Everything that I say is from the heart. You get the pun."
"What's the difference between a checkout counter and a mirror?"
"Funny Fridays! Moist or Mayo, which one is a weird word?"
"Are dragons good at rapping? Because they're always Spitting Fire!"
"I just thought of a great pun: 'What did one broken glass window say to the other? Get the pain out of here.'"
"Intimacy with God... into me see, into me see."
"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife's dead."
"Perseverance, right? Absolute pun intended there."
"Essays are having a little bit of a cultural moment write now, actually."
"Smoke on the water, prescription cannabis shop... You get it."
"Name a bird with a long neck: Naomi Campbell."
"Jumbo is kind of a funny word, jumbo. If you think about it, just keep saying it over and over. It doesn't make any sense." - A humorous take on the word "jumbo" that reflects on language quirks.
"I'm too sick to ever be cured. I wanna thank you for teaching me all those new words."
"A room with a view, brilliant pun there. I should do something like that again one day."
"I'd rather go with Hungary than be hungry. That'd be my choice."
"It's just a fun play on words, but with Cardi's accomplishments, she definitely runs shit here."
"Sometimes I make up words and it comes out gold, sometimes I come up with 'sofa bank' that was gold."
"You think you can bait me? I'm the master baiter."
"No pun intended, but I thought it was alright."
"What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bam boom."
"That's so cool! If you rearrange the letters in Lanky Box, it spells lit. Fun!"
"I appreciate a good pun, and I appreciate what they did to further it. Foliage, I love it!"
"When you assume something you make an ass out of you and me."
"Rob did you know that pecuniary peculiarities are particularly peculiar pecuniarily speaking how' I do."
"If you are a transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine."
"Remember, you can't say drill press without press."
"What's an inmate's favorite hangout at the bar? Wobb wobb."
"The best prescription is really a subscription."
"One Division isn't just a play on Wanda and Vision's names being put together, but it's also a play on television."
"I'm so good at puns sometimes I just impressed myself."
"Drunk is gay because when you drink too much, you can't think straight."
"Staches comes great responsibility. Yeah, that's not a great stash, it's a great staff."
"It's so good that Caesar is the head of the Romaine Empire."
"He sees the word EMF on its forehead and shoots the first e to make it a meaningful word."
"If you want a blizzard in Texas just do a Dairy Queen."
"Glue, with an E. You take the E off, and you put a T in, that's gluten."
"It's a snowball! Actually, it's a snow deep-flavored human."
"Are you a Big Bayou Can, or a Big Bayou Canot?"
"I was originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind. That's a dad joke right there I've been making lots of those lately."
"What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?"
"A velocipede sounds like a mixture between like a Velociraptor and a centipede or something."
"What do you call a freshly painted door? Adorable."
"I'm just Super Saiyan. And I am a super, shut the [expletive] up, Saiyan."
"Now, in terms of the food, I prefer burgers generally. However, in terms of the word like 'chicken', I think chicken is a pretty good word. Chicken. Chicken, you know? It's good to say. Burger, I think that's a failure of a word."
"Working out has the word work built right into it."
"But we'll have to save that train-sition for part two."
"Let's put the fun back in the word dysfunctional."
"You can't spell impossible without possible."
"A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"
"Two Wongs don't make... see what he did there?"
"The show is called love always but instead of being always like a-l-w-a-y-s it's all Waze a-l-l ways because the bachelorette Lexi is pansexual."
"I'm gruntled normal gruntled so like disgruntled is like fairly gruntled it's good."
"Like in the angle of the dangle, when they say Hollywood is a small town, they mean it." - A clever play on words to illustrate the interconnectedness of Hollywood.