Diary Of A Void Quotes
"So this is pregnancy. What luxury. What loneliness."
"The lights on the ceiling shone brightly over an immaculate, sparkling white floor, the eternally looping store jingle playing just loud enough for the name of the chain to worm itself into customers’ ears."
"Late summer was still dragging on—I was bored with being bored with it."
"It’s not like they’re gonna get up and walk themselves to the sink."
"The silhouette of each of these things seemed extraordinarily dark. In that darkness, I got the distinct impression that these all-too-familiar objects were looking at me, sizing me up."
"For some reason, though, I couldn’t find any to buy."
"My first task was to move the washcloth left between the sink and the draining board—the only bit of practical workspace."
"The office was a swamp. Not a deep one. But one that let off a weird-smelling gas all year round."
"I hadn’t been aware that paper core manufacturers even existed, and I had no idea what 'production management' involved."
"Just do it. Don’t ask questions. When the stress got to be too much, you simply got in the elevator, a pack of cigarettes in your shirt pocket, and went out for a smoke."
"That wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Meanwhile, my due date was only getting closer."
"But the moment I saw the words 'second trimester' and the accompanying explanations—about how this is the time when morning sickness ends and things settle down—I felt strangely liberated."
"I could try on a few things in the morning as I got ready for work, I told myself, and crawled into bed."
"The sounds of the machines drowned out the narration, so most of it escaped me."
"What was it all for? The machine had already come to a stop by the time I asked myself that question."
"Isn’t that what people always did? Go their own way, never even bothering to let you know?"
"It was so large, almost thrusting itself forward for me to touch it."
"My attention was suddenly drawn to his ear hair, growing wild like weeds."
"But what a workout. There was no way anyone, let alone a pregnant woman, could keep this up."
"I could think of plenty of things that I didn’t want him to be."
"It was either that or Netflix, but in the end I decided I was in the mood to catch up on a bunch of older movies."
"With every step I took, I felt the air getting cooler, the smell of perfume getting stronger."
"I could see an intricate pattern of vines decorated with dancing reds gathered from flowers all around the world, creating a garden known to no one."
"I don’t think so. The one I like’s too expensive."
"I think you should make your place look the way you want, before you forget what that is."
"You’ll get stretch marks no matter what, but you should do what you can. Know what I mean?"
"At least your husband goes to the doctor with you."
"It’s just nice to be able to listen to your baby’s heartbeat."
"I never even get to go out drinking with friends anymore!"
"I can’t even remember what I’ve watched anymore."
"Everything on the screen was as flat as an old sock run over in the middle of the street."
"I know that if I’m actually worried, I should go to the hospital, but what about late at night?"
"I really want to get home before it gets too bad."
"The sky was a dull gray, as if painted with layers of thin India ink."
"Spring arrives wrapped in an air all its own."
"I wondered what all those people were doing under this snow."
"Who knew maternity leave was going to be so much work?"
"Cherry blossoms are so pretty . . . but the best thing about them is that they don’t smell."
"I wondered which one Yamada was, and what he’d done."
"The shape on the screen became more solid before my eyes. It was as if a storm that had enveloped everything all night long had finally settled, revealing a secret flower garden that had been waiting for this moment."
"The world around me was blurry with raindrops, but I could still see shop signs and the tops of people’s heads as they drifted by."
"So this is the price to pay. For creating another person, for spinning words."
"I’m supposed to have another appointment at the hospital tomorrow, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get on the bus and make the trip. Inside of me, there’s another person, with a form all his own, moving around as he pleases. It’s like my own body has become foreign to me."
"I’ve been reading a lot of childbirth and pregnancy blogs lately. Don’t you think it’s weird how in an age of cryptocurrency and telework, childbirth—something experienced by pretty much half the world’s population—is still so hard and so painful?"
"I’m so alone. I’m sorry—this has nothing to do with how hard things are for you, Hosono. But I’m always so alone. I guess I should be used to it by now. That’s the way it is from the moment we come into this world, but I’m still not used to it—how alone we all are."
"Even if it’s a lie, it’s a place of my own. That’s why I’m going to keep it. It doesn’t need to be a big lie—just big enough for one person. And if I can hold on to that lie inside my heart, if I can keep repeating it to myself, it might lead me somewhere. Somewhere else, somewhere different. If I can do that, maybe I’ll change a little, and maybe the world will, too."
"It was filled with so much color. Roses, spirea, peonies, lilies of the valley, prairie gentians, and so many other flowers that I couldn’t name. As the dark sky packed with midnight’s secrets started to give way to the beginnings of light, I saw every color blooming around me, laughing joyously."
"My work ... Well, nothing’s really changed in terms of my actual responsibilities since I had my baby. It’s the little things: serving tea, cleaning out the fridge. I don’t do much of that anymore. It’s made it a lot easier to focus on my actual work."
"Yeah, I’d love to have another baby. Maybe by the time I’m thirty-seven."