The Play Quotes
"You’re not allowed to touch any of these women either…"
"Which raises the question—if a tree falls in the forest and you can’t fuck anyone at the sorority-house party, is it still considered a party?"
"I know I should brush her hand off me, but it’s been so long since I’ve been touched in a non-platonic way."
"If you’re worried that I’m going to want anything more, don’t. I’m only looking for a one-night thing."
"I want to concentrate on hockey this year, and sex is too big of a distraction."
"You’re the catch in this relationship. She’s definitely punching above her weight class."
"We’ll be really, really quiet. Rupi won’t hear a thing."
"I have no idea how he keeps track of all these chicks—three different ones in a week? I mean, good on him, but boy does it seem exhausting."
"Did you hear me, babe? Tacos!" I don’t understand why I’m the only one excited about this.
"Any tips on how to handle her?" Hunter asks solemnly.
"Mess up even once, and the tongue-lashing you’ll get…" Nico mock shudders, and Hunter snorts with laughter.
"I was forced to paste a smile on my face, but inside I was seething."
"She could’ve picked it up the day before," I say coldly. "There was no excuse."
"You got mad rhymes, Semi!" he says gleefully. "We need to make a YouTube video."
"A hundred bucks says he just sucks at going down on chicks."
"People who see shrinks are weak. Only reason I’m doing this is to keep my marriage together."
"Every relationship has its speed bumps in the road. We’ll be fine."
"If it weren’t for him, my wife would have no idea about that goddamn affair with my assistant."
"I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving. My parents are going to have simultaneous heart attacks when I tell them about Nico."
"I might not want a girlfriend this very second, but I can’t deny that I hope to find something—no, someone—real in the future."
"Jesus fucking Christ, you’re all my BFFs, okay?"
"Good. And I’m glad you don’t believe that bullshit, either."
"I don’t know if I trust myself to be part of it."
"No, I’m not. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I feel like the worst person on the planet."
"I feel horrible about that. Please tell me you accept my apology."
"Heat rises in my cheeks. Oh lord. He is sitting way too close to be dropping F-bombs like that."
"You would really fuck me if you saw this picture?"
"Are you trying to picture what I look like underneath the bikini?"
"I had no idea there were so many men in the world."
"I can’t stop laughing. This is the most fun I’ve had in ages."
"The point of this is to get a date, right? You need to meet in person to know if there’s any chemistry."
"Isn’t it sad that all they have to do to gain our approval is possess basic conversational skills and not talk about their cocks?"
"I can’t believe I’m going on a date. A Tinder date, to boot. That’s pretty much code for 'maybe I’ll have sex with you tonight.'"
"You’re supposed to ride the man’s dick, Semi, not convince him to get back together with his girlfriend."
"That’s the mark of a great coach—he can make you feel invincible whether you win or lose."
"Trust me, you’ll like this one. It goes down so smooth."
"The way I see it, there’s five of us and only one of you."
"I’m about to do something you’re not going to like."
"Sometimes you must witness the tragedy firsthand in order to understand it."
"I’m not worried about you, you idiot. I’m worried about your fucking shooting hand."
"I told you I want a rebound, and I wanted to have it with you."
"I don’t think there is a single motherfucking artery in an ear."
"I’m dead serious. A friend and I got pulled over in Hastings tonight."
"Make him jealous. Flirt with one of his buddies."
"You are the most sheltered college woman on the planet."
"Nobody’s ever said anything to me about that, but obviously I can’t know for sure."
"I was going crazy not being able to touch you in there."
"It’s minus-fucking-twenty and your dad hates me. It’s not a beautiful day."
"You have no idea how close I was to just taking off your pants and riding your dick, right there in front of everyone."
"You’re too perfect, Demi. Even back when we were just friends, I always felt this need to impress you."
"That’s exactly it. You’re preemptively punishing yourself—depriving yourself of something you love, for fear you might do something you hate, some vague point down the line. That’s not a healthy way to look at things."
"My father is inviting us to New Year’s Day brunch tomorrow."
"I felt like I was trying to live up to something."
"We’ll go down once every hour for twenty-minute intervals, then come back up here and fuck. After midnight, all bets are off and we stay in here forever."
"You make me sound even more pathetic when you phrase it like that."
"I want to feel you coming on my tongue. Give it to me."
"I thought I was a ballsy, smart-talking chick from Miami who owned her body and her sexuality. But maybe it’s time to grow up a little."
"I’ve been thinking about you since the second I opened my eyes this morning."
"You make it nice and wet, while your fist moves up and down the length of me."
"I want to make you come right now. I want to hear you moan my name when you shoot in my mouth."
"Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we fail. I’ve lost more patients on that table than my conscience can handle, but you? You didn’t lose your friend tonight. You saved him."
"It’s true, a phone call would have sufficed. A text, even. But my parents are a huge part of my life. It’s always been just the three of us, and in my family we talk things out in person."
"It’s not like you and Hunter were both there in front of me and I needed to choose between you."
"Congratulations on your win," I tell Hunter. "Congratulations on saving someone’s life."
"I want to go to grad school, get my master’s, get my doctorate."