The Gates Quotes
"In the beginning, about 13.7 billion years ago, to be reasonably precise, there was a very, very small dot."
"Scientists call this the 'Big Bang,' although it wasn’t really a big bang because it happened everywhere, and all at once."
"The building blocks of everything that you can see around you, and a great deal more that you can’t see at all, were blasted from that little dot."
"Just as the planets began to take on a certain shape, and the asteroids, and the whales, and the budgerigars, and you, so too, in the darkest of dark places, Evil took on a form."
"Most people are not bad. Oh, they do bad things sometimes, and we all have a little badness in us, but very few people are unspeakably evil."
"In other words, the scientists hoped to understand just how the universe came into being, which is a big question that is a lot easier to ask than to answer."
"After the crash, there isn’t likely to be much of the cars left. In fact, there will probably be only very small pieces of car."
"You can’t make a rule that breaks all the rules. Science just doesn’t work that way."
"It was Einstein who predicted the existence of black holes."
"You tricked me with that sock thing. Very clever, that. Tasted horrible. You need to get something done about your feet, by the way."
"Technically, I’m a free-roaming ectoplasmic entity ... a demon capable of assuming almost any shape or form, based on psychic vibrations given off by its victim."
"I’m a demon. What do you expect me to be? Pleasant? Tuck you in and read you a story? You’re not very bright, are you?"
"Look, it’s my first time," said the demon. "Are you happy now? It’s. My. First. Time."
"But I don’t want to go to the depths of Hell."
"Nobody wants to go to the depths of Hell. I’m a demon, and even I don’t want to go there."
"I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to potter along, minding my own business."
"I’m a demon. Nurd, the Scourge of Five Deities."
"I opened my eyes one day, and there I was. Nurd. Ugly bloke. No friends."
"I think I’m in shock," said Nurd. "You try being wrenched from one dimension to another, then being hit by a truck, sent back home again for long enough to start hurting, and then have the whole thing begin all over."
"Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean that I’m bad."
"If necessary it would allow her to move freely through the world of men during the early stages of the attack."
"It sounded like one of your windows breaking."
"Go," said Mrs. Abernathy. "Begin our master’s work."
"Maybe your head has swollen," Wormwood had suggested.
"Good riddance," said Wormwood. "I never liked you anyway."
"He’s a big lad, Sarge," said Peel. "Don’t know how he managed to fit in there in the first place."
"That’s not very nice," he said. "Sarge, Mr. Nurd here is threatening to turn me to jelly."
"He can see! How can he see? He’s got no eyes. That’s not right."
"I’m very sorry about that, Your Excellency," said the verger. "I thought you were, um, resting. It won’t happen again."
"If anyone asks, we’ll say he fell over," he said. "Lots of times."
"Just ignore him," said the vicar. "Now, perhaps—"
"What a nice chap," said Nurd to himself. "If only all demons were like him."
"Is your dad really going to be annoyed?" asked Nurd.
"Now, Samuel Johnson," she said, "look upon me. Look upon Ba’al, and weep."
"I’ll never get past her," he said bitterly. "I’m done for. We’re all done for."