Bloodsucking Fiends Quotes
"She must have a bust measurement exactly half that of her IQ and she must have seen Elvis sometime since his death."
"There’s a Raggedy-Ann-and-Andy energy going between you two that is simply electric."
"It’s just a matter of time before a maid comes in during the day and burns me to a crisp."
"I felt this before when I grieved for my virginity."
"He worked nights and kept to himself. Who would have thought that he stir-fried the paperboy?"
"It had been a long time since the vampire had heard the sound of his own laughter."
"They only seemed to have two instincts, the hunger and the hiding."
"Impressive as it was, all lit up and overlooking the City, it made Tommy feel nervous, inferior, and pressured to perform."
"I’m not cold. I haven’t been cold since I changed, nor warm, for that matter."
"I can’t explain now, but I might be in a little trouble and I have a lot of things to do."
"I wonder if there’s enough of his mind left even to function, or if I’ve ruined him."
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory."
"I have reached out and touched the face of God – film at eleven."
"Poor souls, you can almost hear them sweating."
"I feel like one of those nervous little dogs from an electroshock test."
"Simon measured the success of any social event by the number of towels it took to clean up afterward."
"I am not "that horrible woman," she thought. I’m a vampire."
"They were all so determined. They had places to go, people to see. Their hair was perfect."
"I’ve taken over his mind, she thought. It’s just like in the movies, when the vampire can control people’s actions."
"I’ve followed my penis into hell and returned with the story."
"You might have told me and saved me the embarrassment of calling Transamerica only to find out that you had been let go."
"I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess."
"I guess there's a few things about being human that I don't miss."
"I tried to keep them out. I'm sorry. I'm scum."
"Clean it up my ass. Someone was in the freezer. Someone saw the body."
"I need a shower. You guys are going to have to roam around for a while."
"The Winter Woman is as wild as a blizzard, as fresh as new snow."
"It’s okay; I didn’t know the deceased very well."
"Did I make a fuss when her mother came over with no notice?"
"It’s not like I have any experience at this."
"Bummer began to lick his balls to remove the annoying odor of deodorant soap."
"You’re the killer here. What are you going to do when you catch me?"
"I’ll give you this if you’ll leave me alone."
"I guess not everything changed when I changed."
"I didn’t ask for this. A few friends come over for breakfast and she goes bat-shit."
"I didn’t know that for a fact. I’m trying to get things under control here."
"I didn’t kill anyone. I don’t know what you’re talking about."
"You guys are miserable here, aren’t you? No one appreciates you?"
"Oh, I can’t wait to find a woman whose only joy in life is sucking out my bodily fluids."
"The righteous and the wronged shall find solace in a sale at Macy’s."
"The measure of a man's power is the depth of his mercy."
"You don’t know how well I know. And I love you too."
"I'm pretty sure I can crush your windpipe before you could move, but I wanted you to be sure too."
"Would you leave something like that unguarded? And I don’t think that you can run a boat this size without a crew."
"You don’t know anything, Tommy. They were all going to die anyway."
"I know how you feel. You don’t know how well I know. And I love you too."
"I’m sorry!" he screamed. "I’m afraid of you. You scare the hell out of me sometimes."
"I wanted someone to talk about books with. Someone who thought I was special."