Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha Quotes
"If the world's moving why aren't we moving as well?"
"The object is to score goals, i.e. force the ball into the opponents’ goal, which is formed by two upright posts upon which is mounted a crossbar."
"My da’s hands were big. The fingers were long."
"I can’t bear to tell you but it’s true, said the doctor sadly."
"The life expectancy of a mouse is about eighteen months."
"You’ll be very tall. That’ll be great, won’t it? Great for robbing apples."
"I could have seen the corner of the cover if I’d looked up very carefully; I could have got the name from the colour of the corner. But it was too dangerous."
"The weather was always nice in heaven and it was all grass, and it was always day, never night."
"I killed a rat with a hurley. It was a fluke. I just swung the hurley."
"The best thing about The Three Stooges was that there were no breaks."
"The tide was going out. That was good; the plank wouldn’t keep coming back in."
"I had a mission to complete. Steady was better than too slow."
"He hadn’t lifted the needle. 'A MAN NEEDS A WOMAN THAT HE CAN LEAN ON.'"
"My sister was up there as well, the one that died; Angela. She died before she came out of my ma but they’d had time to baptise her."
"The record player was a red box. He’d carried it home from work one day."
"I looked over their heads. 'I MARRIED A WIFE - OH THEN - OH THEN - I MARRIED A WIFE - OH THEN -.'"
"I'll tell my ma when I go home, the boys won't leave the girls alone."
"You can see the hairs in his nose, you can count them."
"I didn’t understand it but it made me laugh."
"My word, said the commentator. Extraordinary."
"You’ll have your work cut out for you."
"I was going to tell him to shut up and maybe hit him but I didn’t feel like it."
"Sad that you can’t stop crying. When your ma dies or something. Or your dog."
"It was easy to see how you could accidentally stab yourself with a knife."
"We grabbed handfuls and put them in our pockets. It wasn’t really robbing."
"I remembered too late: Aidan and Liam’s ma was dead."
"She listened to him much more than he listened to her."
"Fathers were like that, all the fathers I knew."
"I won a medal. I came second in the hundred yards."
"Henno couldn’t just give me my medal, he had to make a laugh out of it."
"The man of the house when my da wasn’t there."
"I stayed there, standing. I had to stay still."
"I wanted to help him. He had to know; he had to get ready like me."
"He was drunk. It was new. I’d never seen it before."
"I was the ref. I was the ref they didn’t know about. Deaf and dumb. Invisible as well."
"I wanted to be like Charles Leavy. I wanted to be hard."
"I didn’t understand. She was lovely. He was nice."
"I always made one of them wrong, sometimes two. We all did, except Kevin. He always got ten out of ten, in everything."
"She’d thought she was nice but we’d hated her."
"The saved boy’s family would get a plaque put up on our wall beside the front door."
"Nothing was going to happen to my da. Anyway, I didn’t really want him to die or anything else; he was my da."
"It was stupid. I was stranded, away from the yard."
"I wanted to run away to frighten them and make them feel guilty."
"The dark itself was nothing; there was nothing in it to frighten me."
"It was a sign of growing up, when the dark made no more difference to you than the day."