Bridget Jones's Diary Quotes
"One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion."
"I feel like the grasshopper who sang all summer."
"The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed."
"We women are only vulnerable because we are a pioneer generation daring to refuse to compromise in love and relying on our own economic power."
"I realize it has become too easy to find a diet to fit in with whatever you happen to feel like eating."
"Love is what matters. These nineteen people are my friends; they want to be welcomed into my home to celebrate with affection and simple homely fare – not to judge."
"I am so depressed. Daniel, though perfectly chatty, friendly, even flirty all week, has given me no hint as to what is going on between us."
"The only thing which can possibly get everything back on course is a Bloody Mary. It's nearly the afternoon, after all."
"I once heard my friend Simon canceling a date with a girl – on whom he was really keen – because he had a spot with a yellow head just to the right of his nose."
"I am going to cancel and spend the evening eating doughnuts in a cardigan with egg on it."
"Love the friends, better than extended Turkish family in weird headscarves any day."
"Wish to be like Kathleen Tynan (though not, obviously, dead)."
"My body is a temple. I wonder if it's time to go to bed yet?"
"Have assumed air of dignified hauteur with Daniel and not messaged, flirted or slept with him for three weeks."
"Actually, I'm all for denial. You can convince yourself of any scenario you choose and it keeps you as happy as a sandboy."
"Three hours and thirty-five minutes between waking and leaving house is too long."
"In future must get straight up when wake and reform entire laundry system."
"It is, she said, rather like when you can't get a key to open a lock and if you wiggle it furiously it gets worse."
"You can't deny yourself all pleasures in life."
"I'm going to work out clear set of objectives. In a minute."
"Sometimes I think he really is quite caring."
"Everyone knows when you are going out with someone they are supposed to support you at hideous family occasions."
"Do not know what to believe in or hold on to anymore."
"Feel like ringing Daniel in hope he could deny everything."
"Fear Dan downstairs might hear and ring loony bin."
"Have to go to work in three and a half hours. Can't do it."
"Leave no one-especially Daniel-in any doubt that you've thrown him over."
"The whole bloody world's got a commitment problem."
"It's the three-minute culture. It's a global attention-span deficit."
"Monday. Oh my God. That only gives me five days to learn Current Affairs."
"Am going to change life: become well informed re: current affairs."
"Ugh. Have just smoked entire packet of Silk Cut as act of self-annihilating existential despair."
"The vicar said the word in ecclesiastical circles was that the miracle was due to the effect on terracotta of a hot summer followed by cold weather."
"Maybe you should get a quieter hair dryer or begin your toilette a little earlier."
"I'm bloody sick of this arrogant hand-wringing about single life!"
"Their influence affects everything from the kind of houses being built to the kind of food that stocks the supermarket shelves."
"Anyway, we're not lonely. We have extended families in the form of networks of friends connected by telephone."
"Yes! Hurrah! Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time but should have an accepted status – like geisha girls do."
"Oh God, I'm so lonely. An entire weekend stretching ahead with no one to love or have fun with."
"I'm thinking what lesbians actually do in bed?"
"I always hoped I would turn out to be a genius, but I never believed it would actually happen to me – or my left breast."
"I'm thinking twenty years from now. What about that kid who had his penis burnt off by firecrackers in his pockets back in the sixties?"
"It's because I've put a bit too much milk in. I'll just tip a bit out and top it up with hot water."
"Have reached point where believe nutritional ideal is to eat nothing at all and that the only reason people eat is because they are so greedy they cannot stop themselves from breaking out and ruining their diets."
"I thought you needed two thousand just to survive."
"I do not, however, wish to see any actual goals."
"Then cooking to Michelin star standard becomes as easy as making shepherd's pie: easier, in fact, as do not need to peel potatoes, merely confit them in goose fat."
"I am taking Bridget away to celebrate what is left of the Baby Jesus' birthday."
"Don't say 'what,' say 'pardon,' darling, and do as your mother tells you."