People I Want To Punch In The Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, And Other Suburban Scourges Quotes
"He overlooks my unfortunate shoe choice and I don’t mind that he follows me through the house flipping off lights to save money."
"I needed a computer because I was going to write a novel, you see."
"AOL was like crack for me. I was hooked. So long, social life!"
"Every time you entered a chat room somebody would IM you with 'a/s/l?'"
"It's not a date, so just relax and stop being such an idiot."
"You can’t see that all dark people are bad. Look at Daddy. He isn’t white. Is he bad?"
"If I knew then that I would eventually end up marrying this man, I might have paid closer attention to some of the hints to his personality traits."
"After all, there aren’t too many men out there willing to put up with my brand of crazy."
"We’re offensive and we know it and we can’t help it."
"I’ve always thought marriage counseling and renewing your vows are the kisses of death for a marriage."
"I’m not a computer nerd (just a regular nerd), so I didn’t know what the hell AOL was exactly."
"I love my cleaning lady just a little bit more than I love the Hubs."
"I'm too spoiled by our square footage now to go back."
"You know what? You’re right. It’s not a date, so just relax and stop being such an idiot."
"I’m not really comfortable with that, Jen. I think you should come in so we can call the bus company together."
"That’s weird. These look so good. I would have never guessed that was the kindergarten’s board."
"I don’t think he’s at work today. I think he’s with Ms. Marlene."
"I might be. I don’t know. Adolpha made some good points today."
"Yes, I did go out last week. I got out every Tuesday."
"I don’t know who decides each year what the hot new camps will be, but someone does and word spreads fast to everyone except me."
"She cried a lot, hated to be held, and loved to hit anytime she couldn’t have her own way."
"I might not have the mental tenacity to stand in line for three hours in January, I do have the mental tenacity to get through a summer with my kids."
"I wanted to scream: Why the fuck are we doing this? Are we afraid they’re going to fall behind in the world of dance and soccer and pizza making and miming?"
"I’m not a stranger," I said. "I’m Gomer’s mother. They’re classmates."
"I am home all day long with the Hubs, as we both work from our home office."
"I’ve never lived in a house that has caught fire, we don’t keep weapons in our house, I can follow any kind of dietary restrictions you might have, and we can put Barbie away if you think she’s not a positive body image role model for girls."
"I watched with envy as the mothers around me would hit a button and their slidey doors would open and close."
"Children thrive with routine and structure and systems. I can’t imagine sifting through my kids’ stuff once a week."
"The only way to truly be a part of your child's life is to really be there."
"Life's too short to spend it organizing other people's junk."
"Being a parent isn't about control, it's about guidance and understanding."
"Sometimes the greatest adventures are found in the pages of a book."
"The joy of discovery is not in the finding, but in the search."
"You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent."
"True happiness isn't about having everything, it's about appreciating what you have."
"It's not the destination that matters, but the journey."
"The best memories are the ones we make together."