Maya's Notebook Quotes
"No amount of precaution could ever be enough."
"Take advantage of it to write down the monumental stupidities you’ve committed, see if you can come to grips with them."
"Writing is like riding a bicycle: you don’t forget how, even if you go for years without doing it."
"Born in Berkeley, California, I’m a U.S. citizen, and temporarily taking refuge on an island at the bottom of the world."
"I’m trying to go in chronological order, since some sort of order is required."
"The farther the better. I have a friend in Chiloé, the only person in this world, apart from Mike O’Kelly, I’d dare ask to hide you."
"This is one of those moments," she announced with her nose pressed against the windshield.
"I flew to Dallas, which took several hours, squeezed between the window and a fat woman who smelled of roast peanuts."
"I have a general idea of the archipelago now, although I haven’t been to the south yet."
"My grandparents went to hotels at indecent hours to make love secretly."
"He’d never introduced us to a single girlfriend and was such a champion of the advantages of independence that we never expected to see him give it up."
"A frenzy of activity was unleashed in the house."
"Pilots work a lot, don’t earn very much, and are always tired; it’s not an enviable profession."
"Instead of forcing me to eat by traditional methods, she made me turkey breast with crème Chantilly."
"I opted for a haughty courtesy, inspired by butlers in British movies."
"The whole first month went like that, until she brought a dog home to live with us."
"Each animal worked with one single human for its whole life."
"I murmured prayers I’d invented myself in the kitchen, in the bathtub, in the tower, in the garden."
"What good does it do us to fight against death, Nidia, when we always know who’s going to win, sooner or later?"
"You swore to me you were never going to die, Popo!"
"My sadness kept me company; I didn’t want to be cured of it as if it were a cold."
"I’m glad your Popo is no longer in this world to see what you’ve become, Maya."
"The proof is that you’re still alive and you didn’t break your leg, because then you wouldn’t be able to go back to playing soccer."
"They treated me as if I was a friend who’d come to visit and not like the disheveled and shrill kid who’d been dragged there by two men."
"It’s almost two hours till breakfast, but I’ve got coffee."
"In this country, children learn to kick a ball as soon as they can stand up."
"The church’s weak wooden structure is held up by God."
"Chile is prone to catastrophes—floods, droughts, gales, earthquakes, and waves capable of putting a ship in the middle of a town square."
"Life is a tapestry we weave day by day with threads of different colors."
"I’ve grown accustomed to living incommunicado."
"I envied them, however, and thought of them living their lives without me."
"To stay out of trouble it was very important to appear normal, although the definition of normality fluctuated."
"Existence isn’t easy here, and for many, death is an invitation to rest."
"People don’t talk about the dictatorship much. Those who suffered it try to forget it, and for young people it’s ancient history."
"Silence. This Guaitecas cypress house has the longest silences."
"What am I going to tell your grandma if you drown?"
"Rain, wind, the tree branches scratching on the windowpane, wood burning in the stove, purring cats, that’s my music now."
"I lay down on the bed without sheets, with my clothes and shoes on, disgusted by the mattress."
"Heroin doesn’t kill, it’s the addicts’ lifestyles that do: poverty, malnutrition, infections, dirt, used needles."
"I didn’t wake up until ten. The bathroom was as repugnant as the bed, but I took a shower anyway, shivering, because there was no hot water."
"We’re going to spread the word that you’re my girlfriend, to avoid problems. Nobody will dare to bother you."
"The world back then is beginning to turn into a blot on my memory, although only a few months have gone by."
"Today I put five flowers—last of the season—from Blanca Schnake’s garden on Manuel’s desk, which he won’t appreciate, but it’s given me a tranquil happiness."
"I’m already dead, Laura. Don’t worry about it."
"I was about to start screaming when I heard voices and the creaking of the electric gate on the stairs."
"He ate less than a sparrow, could keep almost nothing down, and sometimes lay so still in his bed that I didn’t know if he was asleep, unconscious, or dead."
"My adolescence was so long! A voyage to the underworld."
"I’m not very observant; I’ve been in Doña Lucinda’s yard a hundred times, helping her dye her wool, without ever noticing the plants."
"I have to think, I have to think, I need a plan. . . ."
"I was going to meet the man of my destiny, Daniel Goodrich."
"People talk too much! Blanca rarely refers to her cancer, but I think she came to this island to be cured of her illness and the disappointment of her divorce."
"The most common topic of conversation here is illness, but I was lucky enough to get the only two stoic Chileans who don’t mention theirs."
"Blanca looks at Manuel with desire in her eyes."
"In all my nineteen years, Daniel was the only person I’d ever looked at with desire."
"No one can stay on this island more than a few days without being noticed, and now everyone knows who Daniel Goodrich is."
"The first time I came here I floated in my kayak without approaching, staying still, to see the otters up close."
"Those moments with the sea lion are sacred. I feel affection for her as vast as an encyclopedia."
"Just the experience of loving is enough, that’s what transforms us."
"We each had to learn to adapt to the other’s body, calmly to discover the best routes to pleasure and how to sleep together without bothering each other."
"He says being an addict is like being pregnant: you either are or you’re not; there are no half measures."
"The sweet peace of the pills was beginning to invade my body when I heard the name Laura Barron on the loudspeaker."
"It’s pointless to bury psychological wounds—you have to air them out so they can scar over."
"I was safe in the cubicle, at least for an hour, the normal time for a treatment."
"I ran up to the dressing rooms and emptied the contents of my lockers on the ground so frenetically that a woman asked me if I’d lost something."
"I had a long shower, the first for several weeks, savoring the pleasure of the hot water on my skin, the soap, the foam in my hair, and the wonderful smell of shampoo."
"I spent October and November in the same state; I can’t remember with any clarity how I survived, but I do remember the brief moments of euphoria and then the degrading hunt for another hit."
"I finally tried heroin with a client, directly into the vein, and I swore at Brandon Leeman for having kept me from sharing his paradise."
"In Las Vegas I believed myself condemned to irremediable solitude, which began with the death of my grandpa."
"Who told you it was going to be easy, girl? Endure it. Nobody dies of this. I forbid you to talk of dying, that’s a sin."
"The clock mocked me, and one hour stretched out into a week."
"The voices! They sang with their whole bodies, swaying like palm trees, their arms raised to the heavens."
"Nobody wants to know about the abyss, because it is too much work."
"Life was too much work. It wasn’t worth the effort of getting up in the morning."
"What’s the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous? The answers he got were not very reassuring."
"You're not like them, Maya; you peered over the edge of the abyss, but you didn't fall all the way down."
"We could save a little bit, just for emergencies . . . "
"I’m not even thinking of running away, Nini, don’t worry."
"In Santiago someone who says anything to strangers is suspicious."
"Dr. Puga’s orders were explicit: he has to swallow half a dozen pills a day, take it easy until December."
"You’ve got a poor man’s mentality, that’s the problem with you leftists."
"The worst things happened to you in Villa Grimaldi, Manuel."
"The people were paralyzed by terror, the most efficient method to impose the icy order of the barracks."
"The dictatorship left indelible scars in Chile and on Manuel’s soul."
"My Nini is still working at the library, volunteering at the hospice, and helping O’Kelly."
"They couldn’t stop her from destroying her life, if that’s what she was set on doing."
"I’m not like them: equality and socialism strike me as vulgar."
"When you’re able, little lady, no sooner, you can answer a few little questions for me, okay?"
"The undersigned noncommissioned officers, Laurencio Cárcamo Ximénez and Humilde Garay Ranquileo, herewith testify to having rescued yesterday."
"This servant of the nation had warned his superiors of the dangerousness of said cliff."
"You don’t think I’d go away from here empty-handed, do you?"
"I was confused by the blow to my head, and didn’t remember what happened."
"This is a very long country, Officer. How did you end up in Chiloé?"
"You can have your life and freedom. I’ll get to close the case, your name won’t appear in the report."
"I thought it was a misunderstanding, a confusion caused by the distance."
"The truth is that your Popo saved you from Arana and from landing on the rocks."
"That’s the explanation. Now don’t ask any more questions."