Codependent No More: How To Stop Controlling Others And Start Caring For Yourself Quotes
"Detach with love, or detach with anger, but strive for detachment."
"Make the most of what we have, it turns into more."
"Detachment is releasing from a person or problem in love."
"If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a fact, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system."
"We don’t have to take things so seriously. Lighten up. Give yourself and others room to move, to talk, to be who they are—to be human."
"We don’t have to take other people’s behaviors as reflections of our self-worth."
"We don’t have to take rejection as a reflection of our self-worth."
"We don’t have to take things so personally. When people with compulsive disorders do whatever it is they’re compelled to do, they’re not saying they don’t love you—they’re saying they don’t love themselves."
"We don’t have to take little things personally either. If someone has a bad day or gets angry, don’t assume it has something to do with you."
"We don’t have to react. We have options. That’s another joy of recovery from codependency."
"Learn to recognize when you’re reacting, when you’re allowing someone or something to yank your chain."
"Examine what happened. Accept it. Then, tell yourself the truth about what happened."
"Figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself."
"Slow down. You don’t have to feel so frightened. You don’t have to feel so frantic. Keep things in perspective."
"We control in the name of love. We do it because we’re 'only trying to help.'"
"Ultimately, we may control because that’s the way we’ve always done things."
"We are fooling ourselves. We cannot control life."
"Detach. Surrender. Sometimes when we do, the result we have been waiting and hoping for happens quickly."
"For each of us, there comes a time to let go."
"We’re so careful to see that no one gets hurt. No one, that is, but ourselves."
"We become dependent on their approval. We become dependent on their presence."
"Needing people so much, yet believing we’re unlovable and people will never be there for us, can become a deeply ingrained belief and a source of inner conflict."
"The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs."
"We are the best things we’ve got going for us. Believe it. It makes life much easier."
"We can cherish ourselves and our lives. We can nurture and love ourselves."
"We need to refuse to enter into an antagonistic relationship with ourselves. Quit blaming ourselves. Put the screws to guilt."
"We need to be good to ourselves. We need to be compassionate and kind to ourselves."
"Stop shaming yourself. Shame, like guilt, serves absolutely no extended purpose."
"Each time you learn to act as if you are valuable, not desperate, it gets easier to repeat that new behavior in the future."
"Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches the very center of our existence."
"The first act of honoring the self is the assertion of consciousness: the choice to think, to be aware."
"To honor the self is to be willing to know not only what we think but also what we feel, what we want, need, desire."
"To honor the self is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance."
"To honor the self is to refuse to accept unearned guilt and to do our best to correct such guilt as we may have earned."
"To honor the self is to be in love with our own life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing joy."
"Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practice selfishness in the highest, noblest, and least understood sense of that word."
"We can learn to practice radical self-love. Be humble, be honest, but love yourself."
"We need to take responsibility for the way we communicate. Let our words reflect high self-esteem and esteem for others."
"In love and dignity, speak the truth—as we think, feel, and know it—and it shall set us free."
"Twelve Step programs teach people how to live—peacefully, happily, successfully. They promote healing."
"Taking care of myself is a big job. No wonder I avoided it for so long."
"Learn to pause before speaking or acting. Or deciding."
"Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no."
"Laugh at least once a day. Preferably more."
"Build a life in the real world; it can be much more rewarding than one built in the ethers."