Murder Your Employer: The McMasters Guide To Homicide Quotes
"All it takes is some kindling and a match." — Guy McMaster, Founder
"At the end of the day, when our work is done, may every McMasters alumnus be able to say that the world has been left a better place because their adversary is no longer in it."
"In recent millennia, flying in the face of Darwinian precepts, we have evolved into a planet where the un-fittest not only survive but often flourish."
"It is important to remember Kipling, if only because none of us are ever likely to meet anyone else named Rudyard."
"A fortunate few come to the applied arts with innate gifts, but most must learn. McMasters was established to serve that need."
"Don’t commit a homicide. Commit a tragedy."
"Context is everything, Mr. Iverson. Never approach your target with a knife unless you’re polishing the cutlery."
"Dressing to kill is a vital factor in many a successful deletion. It’s a sad truism that those who appear affluent often evade the scrutiny of law enforcement."
"I realize this is hardly the appropriate moment or setting, but an institution just up the road from you, one that calls itself a home for the criminally insane, is actually a boarding school for would-be murderers."
"And that, to me, embraces the very soul of the most important commandment you’ll find anywhere in your Principles of Successful Termination: 'Do in others as you would have others do you in.'"
"I think in life, the joke usually turns out to be on us."
"I have mentors willing to teach me a craft, and classmates with a shared intent."
"It requires a team to make something this big happen."
"The next time you appear in a quality role will either be when your contract has expired, along with the public’s memory of who you were… or over my dead body."
"These walls can talk, Miss Maye, and I listen."
"Are there not little Hitlers who try to rule our lives?"
"I do believe in seeing someone in a different light for a first time."
"I felt as if some part of my future self might have died with her."
"A challenge to their goals, which would amuse me if I weren’t worried they’ll try to permanently eliminate the competition."
"Cupid is armed and dangerous, Mr. Iverson!"
"Lectures intoned to the hypnotic tattoo of chalk on slate."
"At a precise and calculable moment, powerfully magnified sunlight will beam through the unshielded right-angled eyepiece."
"If looks alone could kill, McMasters is making deletists of us all."
"I’m here because I made a determined choice. You’re here because you were pressed into service."
"I’d rather have an eager enlistee at my side than a half-hearted recruit."
"For celebrities, a surefire gauge of their current stardom is how readily their tardiness is accommodated."
"If your victim was shot to death at dawn in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York, make sure you were photographed at noon the same day in the Vatican with the pope."
"Every staff member at McMasters has committed murder."
"Think beyond your mission. When you murder, you may believe you’re done with your victim, but murder may not be done with you."
"Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher, all is vanity!"
"Find a person’s passion and you’ll usually find their blind spot as well."
"The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty because life is not a glass but merely a funnel."
"If I did, it would serve me right, don’t you think?"
"In my card-playing days at MIT, I was told that where poker faces were concerned, mine was about as inscrutable as an 'Eat At Joe’s' sign outside a diner called Joe’s."
"We’re not supposed to trust anyone, especially not during Track Meet."
"She adopted the philosophy that being a moving target was more tolerable than waiting for one’s hunter to find you."
"I was obliged to remind myself that I was no longer in the 'civilized' environment of McMasters, where the deletion of certain kinds of people was deemed appropriate..."
"The door of their shared office was kept shut unless Adele wished to lure a promising resident surgeon into her lair..."
"Think of it from a public relations angle: I can either announce that my formerly famous face has been axed by a heartless studio head … or I can announce I’m retiring from the spotlight over the protests of my beloved mentor, Leonid Kosta..."
"For every inescapable and impenetrable prison, there is an underpaid milk van driver who comes and goes free as a bird. For pity’s sake, get to know the milkman!"
"Nothing arouses interest in an unopened letter more than the feel of a snapshot within, especially if the envelope bears a single handwritten word such as 'Personal' or 'Confidential.'"
"Dammit, Cliff," she lamented to the night, which hadn’t been listening.
"That is where he was murdered," she said, as if I wouldn’t remember where and how he’d died for the rest of my life."
"The most challenging part of her impersonation of a man impersonating a woman had been creating believable stubble."
"The easiest impersonation is when you don’t mind people knowing you are in disguise, while still concealing who you really are."
"I’m not trying to do anything immoral or decadent, she told herself. I’m just trying to commit a murder."
"And then she remembered that was already her certain future if she didn’t succeed here… and in all the dark hours ahead."
"How you negotiate the next hour may profoundly affect the course of your life."
"I have but one person to thank for this incredible opportunity, a man who made me into the woman who stands before you now."
"If I may be candid, sir? My wife is about to initiate divorce proceedings against me, and I’d sooner go broke than see her get what I’ve worked so hard for."
"Debased by Kosta yet again with his porcine epitaph of 'Oink,' all the detachment and coolheadedness that McMasters had infused in Doria had vanished..."
"Oh dear, she had deleted another human being."
"My own thesis called for making my target’s deletion appear a suicide. Jack’s tragic personal mission was to make his suicide look like a murder."
"The deletion, planning and performing it, was as thrilling as any role I’ve ever played."
"Life was fun as a campus coed, I had purpose and someone’s death to live for."
"Now she could enjoy McMasters free from the burdens of guilt and revenge."