My Heart Is A Chainsaw Quotes
"If they want partial course credit for immersion, they have to actually immerse."
"It’s not like they’re going to get another chance to be twenty years old in America."
"It’s the funniest thing in the world to her."
"My dad was saying that about eating carrots because girls who want to be skinny try to eat only carrots."
"You do not want to do this with me, girl."
"I’m a janitor, I mean, a custodian, and what’s that but a caretaker, right?"
"I’m talking about slashers. They’re why I can’t catch fire here."
"Sometimes they need help in the form of a furie running at them."
"I’m taking you to—are you really, like, running from something?"
"Final girls are the vessel we keep all our hope in."
"But you understand about the community service?"
"We’re neighbors then, aren’t we? Just across the lake?"
"The Final Girl is a hero for our times."
"The wronged party, victim of the prank, has to go somewhere long enough that everyone else can forget all about him."
"The slasher thought he was tormenting her. He was building the perfect killing machine."
"Sheriff Hardy, the evidence you need is right above Main Supplies, I saw him tucking it up there one day."
"The girl’s scream splits the night in two and then cuts off just as fast, the silence after it quieter and deeper than any Jade’s ever experienced."
"In Friday the 13th, it’s two blond counselors who get the blade to start the ritual, Barry and Claudette."
"Thank you," Jade says to them, kissing the screen then flinching back from the pink phone ringing against her lips."
"It’s started_, Jade knows. It’s finally happening."
"The saying is actually ‘Progress, far from consisting in change, depends on retentiveness. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.’"
"Without memory, there can be no retribution."
"But in circumstances like hers, keep a little two-dollar clearance job that you can leave behind if need be."
"Jade closes her eyes tighter, is not going to fucking cry right here, in front of everybody."
"Jade can’t be sure, but, from the angle of his head, she’s pretty sure Mr. Holmes is either watching him too, or memorizing all the Terra Novans’ faces, to burn them in effigy later."
"She’s the one he saved, and he wants to see her all the way through?"
"But everything’s scary," she reminds herself, gathering her coveralls at her throat because too much exposure to Proofrock might finally just do her in."
"It’s like putting a silencer on a small-caliber pistol."
"As soon as she’s twenty steps away she’s going to be lighting up, breathing deep, holding the smoke in for as long as janitorially possible."
"Let them have their fun, she doesn’t care."
"She closes her eyes, counts to three for all of this to be over, but then she looks again at the count of two."
"It’s good being the horror chick, sure, always standing away from the rest of the crowd, smoking bitter cigarette after bitter cigarette."
"Maybe she can just cross the summer with those twelve hours untouched. What’s he going to do, arrest her?"
"Her foot goes cold and wet and she keeps moving, and half a block later she finally sputters a breath out, draws another in deep-deep, her hands steepled over her mouth."
"And then the sheriff—'Deputy,' her dad corrects, holding his fork up like to cross that T."
"Because you’re bringing the law to my front door," her dad says again.
"It’s what the old-timers call that meadow."
"In her bedroom she scrolls through her phone for whatever news blips she can glom onto."
"Jade clamps her headphones on again, works her way through The Slumber Party Massacre and April Fool’s Day and Happy Birthday to Me."
"She’s the first Native American I’ve ever known, I think."
"What if she reads that letter out loud to Cinn and Ginny over French toast this morning, the three of them laughing so hard they had to be excused from the breakfast table?"
"So, not counting all the tracks we could account for, and taking into account the one track from a bear we now knew was a problem case for the federal Forest Service—police work really isn’t that hard, is it, Meggie?"
"And, know what? Right there in Samuels’s golf bag was a paper sack of some sort of pastries."
"Horror's not a symptom, it's a love affair."
"Parents are good, parents are shining and right, they’re the gods of our world, so whatever they do can never be wrong. It must be your feelings that are wrong."
"Nothing just pops into existence. Everything comes from somewhere. It’s all got a story."
"Not everything with spots is a leopard."
"The reason rape-revenge isn’t a slasher is that the slasher and the final girl would have to be the same person."
"You all thought this was my first time, didn’t you?"
"I did it because I wanted to be part of the movie. Part of all of them."
"Some things should probably just stay buried."
"Of course they’d turn the memorial for their friend into another way to lord it over the common folk, remind them of the pecking order."
"But it’s been good for me, too. I feel like I’ve finally found home."
"But we want you all to know, and this is a promise, there’s going to be a park there next summer, and it will be fully accessible."
"We propose to establish a scholarship fund that will pay for four years of college at any state university."
"Ownership in these mountains is a recent concept. The one we prefer is stewardship."
"She’s a killer, yes, but not until pushed."
"He’s a realtor, a salesman, Jade reminds herself. But still."
"And if she hadn’t caught that something?"
"It’s not just what to do, you can do stuff anywhere, it’s… it’s like, do you remember that old movie The Land That Time Forgot?"
"It’s like you’re yelling into a megaphone while also being in that same megaphone."
"Doesn’t matter what I do and don’t hope. I’m not part of it, am just, like, calling it."
"The slasher first has to help her TRANSFORM."
"But that wouldn’t be enough. Not even close."
"The sheriff—he’s worried about you, Jade."
"She’s white? She doesn’t want to peel out of her shirt in the bedroom and have literal headlights."
"Jade tries to protest but Letha isn’t having it."
"Want to ask Mr. Pangborne? He’s got every connector known to man."
"The lavender makes you think purple thoughts."
"You can't pick your genre, no. Has that been what Jade's been doing all along? Trying to shape an unwieldy string of dead people into a movie, just so she can have a minor role? So she can feel some sense of control?"
"Shooting Glasses has been swimming them across the lake for the last who knows how many hours, because… he's not the final girl, is he?"
"Jade closes her eyes, shakes her head no, balls her fists by her face and sinks under, doesn’t know if she’s crying or not."
"Except Letha’s own words are echoing: this is the real world, not a movie, and the real world doesn’t have to follow any special rules. It just does what it does."
"Jade’s not a good person, she knows she’s not and never can be, it’s too late for her, but that doesn’t mean she can’t try to find them, help them onto a boat, onto the pier, into one of Hardy’s crunchy silver blankets."
""Will she or won’t she… be a grandma before she’s thirty. The doctor was—was to see if he’d gotten me preg-preg—or not."
"But she had a moment, didn’t she? She screamed until that’s all there was in the world and then she stuck her hand as deep into the killer’s mouth as she could."
"The machete isn’t even halfway through his neck, but that’s far enough."
"The Girl with the Black Lungs pushes on."