Discount Armageddon Quotes
"True love always shoots to kill." – Alice Healy
"If you do spot a serial killer, let me know. Sitting here is making my feet itch."
"There’s no such thing as a normal life. Some lives are just more interesting than others, and we shouldn’t judge people for being boring." – Evelyn Price
"When in doubt, play dead. Well, unless you might be dealing with a ghoul, or a basilisk, or something else that likes its meat a little ripe. Actually, when in doubt, just start shooting." – Alice Healy
"Always remember two things about the Covenant: shoot first, and then keep shooting for as long as your ammunition holds out. You can’t reason with fanatics. All you can do is match them in your own fanaticism." – Enid Healy
"Sometimes it’s hard to keep him focused on what’s actually going on."
"It’s hard to remember to play the innocent bystander when you’re hanging by one ankle a couple hundred feet above street level."
"Having a tiny church choir singing the praises of fixing the garbage disposal does a lot to keep things tolerable."
"A proper lady should be able to smile pretty, wear sequins like she means it, and kick a man’s ass nine ways from Sunday while wearing stiletto heels."
"Remember that most people, human or cryptid, don’t like what they don’t understand."
"A lady is never truly embarrassed. And if she is, a lady is never gauche enough to leave survivors."
"You can solve a mouse problem by developing a snake problem. But is it any better?"
"If you can do that by yourself, you should look into getting a place with the circus."
"You’re an insolent, irresponsible, immature little bitch!"
"I don’t believe I’ve encountered your species before."
"Witch! You’re trying to twist my mind with your propaganda."
"Cholera is a bacterial infection spread through polluted water."
"We don’t get enough happily-ever-afters for that."
"That may be the first totally honest thing you’ve said to me."
"You mean I don’t look like a Playboy Bunny? My poor heart breaks."
"One hundred, if you think my information isn’t any good."
"Look on the bright side, Verity. There is no possible way this night can get any worse."
"Learning something new about the world in which we live is always a wonderful thing. Unless you’re learning what a wendigo looks like from the inside."
"This isn’t the sort of business that comes with a lifetime guarantee. You start because it’s the right thing to do, and by the time you realize that the only way to quit is a closed casket funeral, it’s too late to get out. That’s just the way it is."
"Just because we can't do magic, that doesn't mean we can't pay for it."
"You do look frighteningly like your grandmother, you know."
"Never tell anyone to be careful, never ask what that noise was, and for the love of God, never, ever say that you’ll be right back."
"You can’t go through life expecting something for nothing, whether or not you believe that you’re on the ‘right side.’ The right side is the one that pays for the tools it needs."
"There's no such thing as fighting dirty. There's fighting like you want to live, and fighting like you want to die. If you've got anything to live for—anything at all—I suggest you try the first way. The people you love will thank you for it."
"The greatest joy is the joy of discovery. Followed closely by the joy of a discovery that doesn't kill you."
"I don’t know. If I knew, I’d tell you. You’ve got enough credit, and hell, you think I want these people chopping up the staff?"
"You think I’d be claiming something the size of Metallica’s tour bus was under the city if I wasn’t sure?"
"I’ll just have somebody pull the fire alarm. That’ll clear things out fast enough, and it’s better than giving people a reason to talk shit about the health inspector closing us down."