Funny Girl Quotes
"She didn’t want to be a beauty queen, but as luck would have it, she was about to become one."
"Barbara knew she didn’t want to be queen for a day, or even for a year. She didn’t want to be a queen at all. She just wanted to go on television and make people laugh."
"It’s a wonderful thing, a blind dad. Every girl should have one."
"I want to be a comedienne. I want to be Lucille Ball."
"I thought I was allowed to do things my way for a month."
"I’m a BBC employee. More’s the pity. The money’s much better over there. But please. It’s all going to be fine."
"You don’t have to wear specs and have acne to be a virgin." - Clive Richardson
"I don’t think they will. I think it could sound rather good." - Dennis about the theme tune
"Every day, it seemed, more and more people had become involved in the programme." - Sophie Straw
"We wouldn’t be taking one programme to them, we’d be taking a whole series." - Sophie Straw
"It’s all looks. I’d cut your face and bust off and put them on me if I thought it would make any difference." - Marjorie to Sophie
"But it’s Jim. Jim, to my mind, is not a virgin." - Clive Richardson
"I hadn’t seen this script until just now. But let me tell you what’s in it." - Clive Richardson
"Barbara runs rings around Edwina – to Jim’s initial discomfort and, later, great delight." - Narrator
"We’re not trying to poison you." - Edith to Sophie
"I wanted it to be the Monday just gone, with a whole week of rehearsals to look forward to, and then a recording." - Sophie Straw
"People from Hollywood wanted her to be in movies, he said, and when she didn’t believe him, he sent her a script called Chemin de Fer."
"They cared too much about things being real, and about how one scene led to the next. This script was like a dish made from things you’d found in your larder and had to use up before they went off: a Welsh mountain, a casino, a blonde with a big bust."
"We’re writers. That’ll be enough to get you a table."
"‘I don’t think so,’ said Dennis. ‘We can’t, is my point.’"
"‘I love ordinary people individually,’ said Whitfield. ‘It’s ordinary people en masse that trouble me. They seem to lose the ability to think.’"
"You laugh at the same thing as your boss and your mum and your next-door neighbour and the television critic of The Times and the Queen for all I know. It’s brilliant."
"One member of the audience was physically sick during the recording. Laughter took hold of her body and shook it and shook it until she was forced to vomit all over the back of the seat in front of her."
"Sophie plumbed and flooded with such artful dizziness that finally she earned comparisons with Lucille Ball, in the popular press anyway."
"The business with the flood – had to be re-recorded because the delight of the audience drowned out the dialogue."
"Love meant being brave, otherwise you had already lost your own argument: the man who couldn’t tell a woman he loved her was, by definition, not worthy of her."
"It wasn’t the point of love, in his opinion. Love meant being brave, otherwise you had already lost your own argument."
"The overwhelming pressure to give the people what they wanted came from within."
"One very small step sideways and she could make everything fit together, Jim and Barbara and Sophie and Clive, and perhaps there would be a baby to match the baby that she was about to give birth to on television."
"Feeling sorry for Ian Smith, or complaining about the coloured problem, was like saying you preferred ‘How Much is That Doggie in the Window’ to ‘Twist and Shout’."
"They could refuse to care about fashion if they wanted to, but if you were going to spend all your time in the company of with-it people, you needed to know when they were laughing at you."
"The strange thing was that the argument seemed synthetic to Tony. Could anyone really care that much about being paid not to work?"
"It's hard to make a living in this game. You've got to do what you've got to do."
"I think we perform different functions, don't we?"
"I have stopped her, but I don't know what to replace it with."
"We’re supposed to be writing a comedy series, not The Perils of Pauline."
"If it's any consolation to you, I regret everything." - Clive
"Nothing went wrong. I married Dennis. He was the best husband I could possibly have hoped for. We had two wonderful children." - Sophie
"You were the most confident young woman I'd ever met. You knew you were going to be a television star." - Clive
"I suppose fun was involved, at some point." - Clive
"I mess my marriages up, and my relationships with my children are as a consequence poor, and I messed work up too." - Clive
"It's about knowing your limitations. Which is what we were talking about." - Sophie
"I don't know if they were a disappointment. I just messed them all up. That's different, isn't it?" - Clive
"I've enjoyed every second of my career, and I've worked whenever I wanted to." - Sophie
"It's a different world they lived in now, Sophie caught herself thinking." - Narration
"Entertainment had taken over the world, and she wasn't sure that the world was a better place for it." - Sophie
"I love gay people. I love you, Bill. And I don’t even feel the need to qualify that." - Clive
"It's not about gay marriage, for Christ’s sake. It's about a man and a woman making peace with their past, and trying to work out whether they have a future together." - Bill
"If I don't give myself a ten, nobody else will." - Max
"I'm in a dressing room in Eastbourne. Tony and Bill are out in the theatre somewhere." - Sophie