Full Package Quotes
"I have a theory that it takes the human brain at least three tries to fully process something when it’s the opposite of what you want to hear."
"Finding an apartment in New York City is the tenth circle of hell. It’s the eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth, too."
"Doctors don’t make bank the way they used to. Especially not first-year ER docs."
"You know all those TV shows where the perky twenty-something nabs a swell apartment? They lie."
"That’s why it’s an urban myth. You can’t really do it while hanging from the chandelier."
"A body is a body is a body. I can appreciate her figure empirically."
"Men and women can be friends. Great friends."
"I like my spleen. It’d have to be a closet on the first floor for me to give up an organ."
"But sweetness is about to land on my tongue."
"You have to try. That’s how you discover what works and what doesn’t work in the kitchen."
"But neither one of us had any luck. Now, we just have to be thoughtful and considerate of the fact that we’re a man and a woman who are good friends living together."
"I’m learning," she says, then tucks a strand of pink-streaked hair behind her ear, her silver bracelet sliding down her arm.
"Let’s just say the leasing agent wasn’t the first woman to invite me to a threesome," I tell Josie.
"I don’t care about one weird sexual encounter. I mean, we’re all bound to have that, right?"
"She thought one of the nurses, a brunette named Simone, was quite hot, and she asked me if I’d consider a threesome."
"What bothered me was that Adele, my best friend at the time, went on to spend the next several months having an emotional affair with Simone."
"But just because I didn’t have the right equipment," I say, my eyes straying to my crotch, "didn’t make the breakup hurt less."
"It’s not about the equipment. It’s not about whether you stood a chance with her. It’s about this. Your heart," she says, placing her palm on my chest.
"That’s how I learned the hard way that taking friendships to another level only results in heartache."
"In his case, the apple a day didn’t keep the doctor away."
"I don’t entirely know, but I trust that the appropriate people will help both of them."
"I’m sorry I gave you a hard time," she whispers.
"I wish I could just shut things off. Like you can."
"I like male-male porn," she says. "Because I like guys."
"I like videos of girls getting themselves off."
"Did you just hear the groan of excitement I made all the way from Mercy?"
"I can’t help it. I feel bad for both of them."
"I’m not sure I’d regret anything," she says. "I’m trying to live a life without regrets."
"I’m suffering from a motherfucking case of falling in love."
"I want us to be careful. I want us to have an understanding. I don’t want to get my heart broken."
"A life without Josie sounds like a living hell. ‘I don’t want to lose you, either.’"
"I can’t stand the thought of not being friends with you. We can’t let that happen."
"I think that’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me."
"We’re roomies with benefits until we get it out of our system."
"‘You’re so fucking good to me,’ I say, then crush her lips to mine."
"I want to be the one you come home to and wake up to."