Infidel Quotes
"If I can't put my name on my own film, in Holland, then Holland isn't Holland any more, and I am not me."
"However, some things must be said, and there are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice."
"This is the story of my life. It is a subjective record of my own personal memories, as close to accurate as I can make them."
"I've come to see that it is useful, and maybe even important, to tell this story."
"In April 2006 a Dutch court ordered that I leave my safe-home that I was renting from the State."
"This book is dedicated to my family, and also to the millions and millions of Muslim women who have had to submit."
"Somali children must memorize their lineage: this is more important than almost anything."
"Suspicion is good, especially if you are a girl."
"People ask me if I have some kind of death wish, to keep saying the things I do. The answer is no: I would like to keep living."
"We must be strong, clever, suspicious; we must obey the rules of the clan."
"You don't have to do that until you're grown up."
"We pray together as a family. This is how God wants it."
"You won't punish us if I confess something, will you?"
"They thought the SSDF was no better than Afwayne: it was corrupt, and inept, and rotten with clan backbiting."
"When you're born a woman, you must live as a woman."
"Humans must accept they are mortal, for Allah decrees it."
"I'm not telling you to behave like this. I'm only telling you what God said: avoid sin."
"Prayer is a long procedure, and it is required five times a day. In the beginning, I almost never managed to do all of it, but it felt good to be trying."
"Islam was under attack, and we should step forward and fight the Jews, for only if all Jews were destroyed would peace come for Muslims."
"I wanted to understand better how to live the life that Allah, who was infinitely just, wanted for me."
"It had a thrill to it, a sensuous feeling. It made me feel powerful."
"Everything that went wrong was the fault of the Jews."
"I asked my mother for money so Sister Aziza's tailor could make me a huge black cloak, with just three tight bands around my wrists and neck and a long zipper."
"The state in Kenya was crumbling from within, buckling under the larceny and nepotism of the men in control."
"My mother had simply no idea of how to manage teenagers."
"I was also crushed. I felt as if all the hope had suddenly drained out of my bones."
"A Muslim woman must not feel wild, or free, or any of the other emotions and longings I felt when I read those books."
"In Nairobi it was dusty, and when it rained, which was often, the ground was mud, so you never felt clean."
"Somalia was clearly a lot poorer than Kenya. This hadn't occurred to me before."
"It wasn't her fault—she was gracious, perfectly observant of all the proper behavior."
"We were tarnished by having grown up far away."
"It felt good to belong. This is what the bloodline was: this self-evident feeling of not having to justify your existence or explain anything."
"The Brotherhood was above politics—and clan; it was fighting for God's justice."
"Life on earth is a test and I was failing it, even though I was trying as hard as I knew how to."
"There was a feeling of oneness and union, a huge sense of community from everyone involved in a small space doing just one thing, and doing it voluntarily."
"I was in a state of moral confusion—a crisis of faith."
"The complete lack of privacy, of individual space, and the social control were suffocating."
"I didn't see it as a justification for mistreating people on the basis of their physical characteristics and the quality of their blood."
"I had behaved abominably: I had given in to temptation, betrayed my family, and now I would be trapped forever by this man, by my own fault."
"It was as if they were stunned, just waiting to die."
"The more men there are, the less help women have around the house."
"This would not be a luxury under these circumstances."
"The idea that somehow everything would fall into place when the House of Islam was completed seemed almost fatuous."
"We were prepared to start from scratch in foreign countries."
"My father said, 'No human being has the right to punish another for not observing his religious duties. Only Allah can do that.'"
"I didn't detect that he had any special interest in me, either."
"The landscape looked like geometry class, where everything was in straight lines."
"I was not running away from Islam, or to democracy. I was just a young girl and wanted some way to be me."
"If you had no money, you admitted it, then you looked at why you'd overspent."
"Life on earth is a test, and if you manage to put yourself last in this life, you are serving Allah; your place will be first in the Hereafter."
"The more deeply you submit your will, the more virtuous that makes you."
"In every way, to read these books of Western history was sinning."
"Drinking wine and wearing trousers were nothing compared to reading the history of ideas."
"To associate Allah with other unities and say he had a child—you would burn in Hell for saying this."
"She said it wasn't selfish to do what you wanted with your life—everyone should pursue her own happiness."
"I felt the loneliness and sometimes even the emptiness of our lives."
"I moved into a tiny room in a Dutch student house, a place I would share with boys, where there would be alcohol, perhaps even drugs. I armed myself with courage."
"I was underneath this desk, in my yellow pajamas, when everyone headed off to class."
"At lunchtime, when Marco reappeared, I was still under there, still in pajamas."
"Marco was a year older than I, and he worked; he was a reporter for a Dutch science magazine."
"Another thing about these kids fascinated me: everything was about the self—what they liked, expressing their style, treating themselves to something they felt they deserved."
"Marco was handsome, with light brown hair and big blue innocent eyes; there was always a smile in the corner of his mouth."
"We didn't kiss or anything. We just held hands for a moment and stayed close to each other, talking, all evening."
"Marco was tender and patient. At first I felt frozen."
"We were equals, we laughed together, we were all the other needed."
"In my childhood, the self was ignored. You pretended to be obedient, good, and pious for the approval of others; you never sought to express yourself."
"But a few days after Marco and I moved into our new apartment, I received a call from Tamara."
"I was trying to figure out what was going on. Over the course of the next few weeks I came to see that the voice was like a little Haweya."
"My sister was disintegrating right in front of me, and all I could do was watch."
"Haweya stayed in the hospital for six months. I visited her constantly."
"The night before I flew back to Holland, I couldn't sleep. I listened to the cars rumbling down the road in the early morning and realized I would never live here again."
"My father told me, 'Be very careful.' I asked 'Careful of what?' and my father said again, 'I'm getting warnings from everywhere. Don't say anything about Islam.'"
"I'm just a little pawn who earns sixteen hundred euros a month. You don't murder people for raising a small voice in a small country."
"Something could happen to you. You have to be careful."
"I'm a little ashamed, because I haven't read any of your books."
"These threats are very real. You'll need protection."
"I had set off something that could be very big and very dangerous."
"Whether I agree or disagree with Ayaan is irrelevant. Any threat against her for expressing a simple opinion is completely unacceptable to all of us."
"Ayaan, you look exhausted. I want you to think long and hard about taking on this challenge."
"I'm a Liberal, and there are good arguments for abolishing faith-based schools."
"I'm not going to apologize for the truth."
"Sometimes it feels as if they don't trust me with my own life."
"I needed to stand up for myself. I walked out. Just walked out of the hotel, to get coffee and some fresh air."
"Deep in my heart I wanted to run away as quickly as I could, but I needed my dignity more."
"But there was a new rule: I wasn't to use the phone unless my guards were present, listening. It was like being imprisoned."
"Life is better in Europe than it is in the Muslim world because human relations are better."
"I had wanted Islam to be part of the political debate, and now it was."
"I was stunned. Where could I go? To a hotel? An air base? To some bulletproof hut in the forest?"
"The values of my parents' world generate and preserve poverty and tyranny."
"I have been lucky, and not many women are lucky in the places I come from."
"I am grateful to my 'Dutch family'—Johanna, Maarten, Irene, and Jan—who offered me a real home in my new country."