Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man's Fundamentals For Delicious Living Quotes
"All daring and courage, all iron endurance of misfortune, make for a finer, nobler type of manhood."
"Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die and none are fit to die who have shrunk from the joy of life and the duty of life."
"A man’s usefulness depends upon his living up to his ideals insofar as he can."
"It is hard to fail but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."
"Just always do the best you can, and then nobody can fault your effort."
"We’re cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we’re assholes first."
"I have never had need of a firearm in my life, not remotely, but I’ll happily sport a bumper sticker that reads, 'You can have my rib eye when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers,' or even write a bit of poetry."
"Despite the beautifully Ron Swanson–like notion that one should exist solely on beef, pork, and wild game, the reality remains that our bodies need more varied foodstuffs that facilitate health and digestive functions, but you don’t have to like it."
"The mystical conversion that occurs in every Catholic mass, in which the blood and body of Jesus Christ (our Lord) become wine and, inexplicably, little round white bread wafers, respectively, is known as transubstantiation."
"Before we can argue mortgage rates and tuition hikes, we, every one of us, must first replenish our mammalian bodies with food and water."
"Our bodies tell us frequently, to do things that society has deemed inappropriate, or quite often, illegal."
"As civilization developed, we learned to establish some rules and guidelines—'laws,' if you will—to convince ourselves that it's not right to heed these animal urges."
"Over the centuries, we have continued to evolve these notions so that every citizen receives a fair shake."
"The early transgressions that our 'laws' sought to prohibit involved a violating poleax or spear of one brand or another."
"I here proffer my opinion that we, the people, are still being raped on a daily basis, but it's a much longer, much slower fucking."
"Really, all religious teachings can be boiled down to: 'Just be cool. Don’t be an asshole.'"
"The technique is: Let the others go first. The calmer I become, the more I enjoy my day."
"I can speak to this sensation, as for my first years in LA, I felt like I was in an invisible queue, bombarded daily by reports of all the goddamn guys in front of me, succeeding by inches, wedging me out of TV pilots and film roles."
"We walked beans and I loved it. I was out in the sun all day, walking up and down the field."
"Choose your favorite spade and dig a small, deep hole, located deep in the forest or a desolate area of the desert or tundra. Bury your cell phone and then find a hobby."
"Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something! Take the cleverness you apply to Words with Friends and utilize it to make some kick-ass corn bread."
"If you engage in a discipline or do something with your hands instead of kill time on your phone device, then you have something to show for your time when you’re done."
"The people making stuff are generally less wealthy but much happier overall. Less bored, less bitter, more satisfied."
"I always give this as my main tenet: 'Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.'"
"The instance in which religious matters raise my ire is when they cross over out of the doors of the church and into my secular world."
"So in conclusion, given the miles I’ve logged, I’m going to go ahead and suggest that you maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ... if it is getting you hot sex."
"When a person chooses a flavor of, let’s say, pie, that human is not choosing their preferred filling lightly. Flavor choice is based upon one’s biology, which, in case you’ve forgotten, happens to be SCIENCE."
"The act of pulling weeds has the very same impetus that causes war."
"The way of the arts is the way of the Buddha."
"I have learned a lesson here. A lesson and a half. Has been learned."
"Your flight may be beautiful and sexy, or it might be awkward and labored."
"An audience loves to have a hand in making the magic real."
"You make a goddamn card for your significant other!"
"The important thing is to start with the moustache."
"Come to the cliff," he said. "They said, 'We are afraid.' 'Come to the cliff,' he said. They came, he pushed them and they flew."
"No one ever knew what the fuck I meant, but I thought I was being incredibly clever and hilariously rebellious."
"I’m still strong and have a great constitution, but you have to be eighteen or nineteen and a little stupid to haul plywood like that."
"Even as a brute laborer, I needed to perform for anyone who would give me the time of day."
"I wasn’t personally on fire, and I hadn’t been injured in the fall, but that’s how the phrase ended up on my jacket."
"It meant 'Watch me haul ass out of here,' but at the same time it meant 'Hey, everybody, just wanted to let you know I’m cool. I smoke weed now.'"
"I found it much more convenient to tinkle off of the roof out my back fire escape door, mainly into the snowdrift on a subroof a few feet below me."
"I knew, thanks to a popular proverb, what to do when life gave me lemons, but in this case, when handed lemonade to begin with, I was at a loss."
"I never had the chance to shine in a major role."
"Simply by changing our personal interpretations of each role, we altered the audience’s point of view, as well, with each iteration."
"I want to forevermore take 'unkempt' as a compliment."
"I’ll never forget my mom’s reaction to my exit, standing in the driveway."
"I reckon I’m driving this thing to California. What the hell. Let’s do this."
"One doesn’t date another actor in one’s play."
"I guess the moral of the story would have to be: Read The Secret!"
"If we as a society properly reclaimed all of the construction lumber heading to the landfill and the bonfire every day, we wouldn’t need to cut down another tree for twenty years, if ever."
"I thought, 'Hey, if we can build this structure, then surely we can build a table, which is just a smaller-scale version of a post-and-beam cabin.'"
"Once you master those simple tools and techniques, you can then craft toward whatever item your predilections steer you to."
"What Ma Nature has wrought in the grain and color and figure of a given piece of tree is generally much more magical to me than any dentil edge I might adhere to it."
"Propelling a wooden canoe that you have built with a paddle also made by your hand carries so much more than a sense of pride."
"Engage in romantic love. It truly makes life worth living."
"The secret to getting cast? Don’t give a shit about the audition."
"That’s one of the many reasons they call me the Lucky Bastard."
"I cried like a little baby boy who has just dropped his bacon slice in a pile of cow shit."
"You just have to find the people who are on the same page as you are."
"I am so grateful for the opportunity to work with a collection of the nicest and smartest and funniest people I have come across."
"Everything happened for the reason that you were meant to get this job."
"Nineteen times out of twenty they’re just not looking for you, and you have to learn to not take it personally."
"Your vision immediately begins to swim with dreams of acreage in Illinois’s idyllic Sangamon River Valley and a brand-new pickup truck."
"Your head has completely flown out the window, and it is now that you are invited into the room to perform."
"Speeding toward the comforts of home or the coffee shop or the pub, you manage to keep your compulsive examinations of your cell phone to only every twenty-four to twenty-eight seconds."
"If you are a purist who would simply like to create artwork, then you can do that wherever you are, beholden to no one."
"Something I continue to learn about folks—is that we’re all just people, people whose wants are often incredibly disparate."
"The only thing you have going for you is you and your unique take."
"Don’t be a lazy fuck. Know your lines. Do your homework."
"Make your life happy. Sounds pretty simple, right?"
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life."
"It’s easy to become distracted by the beautiful people, the good times, and the swag, but ultimately, it’s just a business."
"What I had learned was that I don’t achieve my happiness by taking it easy, but instead by using my time and abilities to be productive."
"Every time I have the opportunity to eat some food that has fallen on the ground, especially in an airport bathroom, I jump to it, in the firm knowledge that I am solidly fortifying my immune system."
"If you think that a doe and a couple of fauns standing a few yards away watching you float by won’t chill you out, then your thinking parts might be in need of repair."
"Experiencing all of the naturally exquisite features described above hand in hand with your beloved cannot be topped."