Tweak: Growing Up On Methamphetamines Quotes
"I never even knew her that well but we’d sort of hung out a few times in high school."
"I was seventeen and had been accepted at prestigious universities across the country."
"So I just started smoking some pot and what harm could that do me anyway?"
"I was curious to know what it felt like to get good and proper drunk."
"Something was driving me that I couldn’t identify and still don’t comprehend."
"It scared me, honestly, and I didn’t drink again like that for a long time."
"I remember not wanting my parents to meet her."
"It was like being in a car with the gas pedal slammed down to the floor."
"I’d been sober exactly eighteen months on April 1st, just two days ago."
"The morning of my relapse, I had no idea I was actually going to do it."
"I thought I could stay detached emotionally. I couldn’t."
"I just couldn’t handle it. So yesterday I relapsed."
"I remember going on walks with my dad out to Fort Point."
"Our heads would stick out of the stretched-out wool neckline together."
"Accepting responsibility, admitting guilt, making restitution, hell, just saying I’m sorry—it had become too daunting."
"All I could do was move forward and keep doing everything in my power to forget the past."
"I am ashamed of myself and, for a moment, I can’t even remember why I’m doing any of this."
"I always thought I was so ugly. I mean, I really did."
"Focusing on my physical appearance was at least easier than trying to address the internal shit."
"It’s not like I enjoyed stealing or hurting my dad, or whatever. I mean, I hated it."
"But I was so scared of coming off the drugs."
"It’s like I’m being held captive by some insatiable monster that will not let me stop."
"I have no references. But, of course, there’s always the hope that my new employer won’t check them out."
"We’re kissing and locked together and it just goes on."
"I feel sick being on the other side of it. I feel unsafe, violated, out of control."
"It is a dirty world and a dirty life. Everyone’s out to fuck you over."
"Any illusions I have are dashed quickly to pieces. I feel just, you know, defeated."
"Isn’t that the greatest gift in the world—just not to care?"
"I remember telling sexual stories to my friends—making shit up that would turn us all on."
"It’s like there are seven candles lit in my stomach. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven."
"The fire eats away my flesh. The fire spreads. The fire runs through my veins."
"I want to take her away from all the horror she’s known in her life."
"I think she is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen."
"True love is wanting what’s best for that person, no matter what."
"It fuels everything in me. It is a feeling of absolute bliss—maybe even better than crystal meth."
"No one who really loves you could ever treat you that way."
"I’m crazy with it. All I can think about is her."
"I will marry her and I will be with her till we’re both old, in sickness and in health."
"I’m not gonna throw it away so you don’t have to be fucking jealous."
"Some of this was my mom’s stuff—stuff I’ve never even looked at."
"I love you. It’s hard for me, you know? I get very jealous."
"I’m sorry. I just think it’s time to start moving on."
"I feel like I’m living with death so close every day and Jordan crashing his bike only adds to this."
"There are very few things I’m sure of anymore. I love Zelda—I know that."
"I need to get my life together, I know that."
"I feel like maybe they will turn me to ash—like a vampire."
"I’m thinking ten days in detox, max—then I’ll just be sober and living with Zelda and writing again and everything will be perfect."
"I don’t think you do know. I have a life I have to live."
"I love you, Dad. I love you, too, Mom. I really do."
"I actually really like my life now and I’m trying very hard to live with honesty and integrity."