Group: How One Therapist And A Circle Of Strangers Saved My Life Quotes
"The first time I wished for death—like, really wished its bony hand would tap me on the shoulder and say 'this way'—two bags from Stanley’s Fruit and Vegetables sat shotgun in my car."
"I wish someone would shoot me in the head."
"A soothing thought with a cool obsidian surface."
"In my law school application, I described my dream of advocating for women with non-normative (fat) bodies—but that was only partly true."
"Lawyers can be married to their work—work that is so vital that they don’t mind, or notice, if their personal lives are empty as a parking lot at midnight."
"The starving person isn’t hungry until she takes her first bite."
"You don’t need a cure. You need a witness."
"When you let the group in—take that first bite—only then will you feel how alone you’ve been."
"Nothing about the way I was living made me want to stop living."
Emergency at work. Andrew yanked his pants up. "Sorry, but I have to go." I didn’t even know what his job was.
"Do you get that I’m in a lot of pain?" "Christie, I get that you are in a lot of pain."
"What’s the point in all of this? The brass ring is just more shitty sex and disconnection."
"You’re not at the brass ring yet," Dr. Rosen said. "But you’re on your way."
"This isn’t enough." "Christie, it is enough."
"The realization that there was no shortcut to the mental health I was working toward crushed my spirit."
"You should tell the group about the Smoker," Carlos said.
"Then why are you so determined to get me to say it again—"
"I’m a total cocktease." The "total" I added as a personal flourish.
"I don’t know how long it’s going to take. Can you celebrate the steps you’ve taken so far?"
"The technical term for my condition was sexual anorexia."
"Why did he walk so slowly? He was headed to work—to my group session—not on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje."
"I don’t think so," said Dr. Rosen. A pause. Then, "You don’t have to do that, you know."
"If you can’t say no in relationships, then you can’t be intimate," Dr. Rosen said.
"I’ve seen Fiddler on the Roof," I said, moving his hand off me.
"You want me to tell the guy I have the hots for that I’m a ‘cocktease’? Then what?"
"You think I can’t see you." Dr. Rosen said.
"I never want to fuck like that again." "You never have to fuck like that again."
"By the time I pulled up to Marnie’s house, I’d decided that the only thing Jeremy was missing in his life was the love of an emotionally available woman."
"I hated my second group too. Every second of it."
"You’re going to find out what a real relationship feels like."
"I was on the phone with him crying again."
"Zero body fat, perfect form, easy breathing despite his six-minute-mile pace."
"I covered my mouth with my hands to conceal my joy at this invitation, this potentially Big Thing."
"I hesitated for only a millisecond when the dish arrived covered in a layer of browned mashed potatoes with mystery brown lumps floating underneath."
"What hidden thing in this physically beautiful man’s heart could hurt me later?"
"I curated a Christie I imagined would appeal to him."
"This was how you built an intimate relationship. Word by word. Story by story. Revelation by revelation."
"When he pressed his perfect lips against mine, I swallowed starlight, and my heart began to glow."
"The only downside was the low-grade anxiety I felt all the time about how to make it last."
"I sat through enough group therapy sessions to recognize that my willingness to fight full out with Max might be an even bigger indication of transformation."
"For the first time, I didn’t need his affirmation to prove I was moving forward and doing the hard things to become the person I wanted to be."
"What I valued most in Dr. Rosen were his balls of steel."
"I wanted to press my palms to my ears and scream. Why did every one of my relationships have to be such a goddamned production?"
"In time, Brandon would learn from me that secrets were toxic and that disclosure was the route to freedom and intimacy."
"They had taught me to laugh at myself and look at my relationships from multiple angles."
"I wasn’t committing the cardinal sin of going it alone."
"It’s not group. I don’t know how you do that—sitting around, listening to other people’s problems."
"Despite his wealth and privilege, he treated everyone with a quiet respect."
"The urge to flee was overpowered by my need to prove I was willing to do the hard work I was sure intimate relationships required."
"When you agree to keep someone’s secret, you hold their shame."
"I collapsed onto my legs, grabbed my hair with my fists, and pulled. Hard."
"I was okay, or okay enough, for the first time in my entire life. Because I said so."
"I visualized my heart and saw slashes from each group session I showed up for, from each man I dated, from each squabble with Dr. Rosen or with a group mate."
"I can’t believe any of this is happening. How did I get here?"
"I was still in shock that I was pregnant and dizzy in love with our little fetus."
"I held my hands close to my chest and listened to the music of my group."