How To Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love Quotes
"Dating is harder now than ever before. And you can tell your mom I said that."
"Modern life is a path that we must chart on our own."
"Late at night, our faces lit by the blue glow of our smartphones, we wonder, 'Who am I?' and 'What am I doing with my life?'"
"The paradox of choice: too many options can make us feel less happy and more doubtful of our decisions."
"Great relationships are built, not discovered."
"Social media leads us to believe that everyone else is in healthier, happier relationships than we are."
"We’re bombarded with messages imploring us to get this decision right."
"Using insights from behavioral science, we can take control of our love lives."
"Maximizers make good decisions and end up feeling bad about them. Satisficers make good decisions and end up feeling good."
"You’ll never be 100 percent ready for anything, including—and perhaps especially—dating."
"Changing your attachment style on your own can be challenging."
"Many people find it helpful to talk through these issues with a therapist."
"Attachment theory is a popular framework for understanding relationships."
"Securely attached folks make up 50 percent of the population but not the dating pool."
"If you’re anxiously attached or avoidantly attached, you can help yourself develop better relationship skills."
"Brian looked like Keanu Reeves’s more attractive brother."
"That first night, dressed head to toe in white linen, dust goggles draped around his neck, he whispered, 'Can I kiss you?'"
"We swiped some beers from a microkitchen and hopped on the Google shuttle back to San Francisco."
"Brian was hot, spontaneous, and fun. But also unreliable."
"Many of us struggle to make good choices for our future selves."
"The answers have little bearing on whether you want to kiss the person or go out with them again."
"A growth mindset believes that they can improve their intelligence and skills."
"Expecting our partners to fulfill all our needs puts a lot of pressure on relationships."
"Emotional stability and kindness are two of the most important and yet underrated characteristics."
"You know those fair-weather friends who are with you when life is going great but forget your number when you need help?"
"Physical attraction can obscure long-term compatibility."
"If you really are seeking a long-term relationship with a committed partner, you need to stop looking for a Prom Date and start seeking a Life Partner."
"You can spot people with a growth mindset by paying attention to how they handle themselves in different situations."
"Fights aren’t fun, but they don’t necessarily spell disaster."
"The first step in fighting well is understanding that there are two types of problems in relationships: solvable problems and perpetual ones."
"Making that shift is hard. I know because I did it."
"The vertical axis marks how likely the event is to have person-to-person interaction."
"An event you’ll enjoy is likely to bring out the best side of you."
"Research shows that publicly committing to a goal makes people more likely to accomplish what they set out to do."
"The environment in which we make our choices matters."
"The spark isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. It can be a useful signal that you’re attracted to someone."
"Good dates are about connecting with another person, not showing off."
"You can design better dates by shifting your mindset and selecting more intentional activities."
"The point of the first date isn’t to decide if you want to marry someone or not. It’s to see if you’re curious about the person."
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
"People who saw themselves as unlucky tensed up—because they expected the worst—and their anxiety prevented them from noticing unexpected opportunities."
"We avoid bringing up the DTR because it feels awkward, or they’re scared they’ll ruin things."
"If someone doesn’t take you seriously as a potential partner, wouldn’t you rather know that sooner than later?"
"The decision to move in together comes first."
"But many people don’t take this decision point as seriously as they should."
"The process of separating their stuff, finding new places to live, and coming up with a calendar to share the dog is expensive and annoying."
"If you move in together and things aren’t great, you’re more likely to stay in the relationship than if you each had your own space."
"Arguing over whose couch to keep or what neighborhood to live in does not count as planning your future together."
"What’s the point of rushing if you’re not headed in the same direction?"
"I’m just worried I’ll end up texting him nonstop with reminders to walk the dogs and pick up groceries."
"Our brain tries to create a cause-and-effect story to explain the events we witness and experience, even when that story is false."
"Your relationship might leave you with a few cracks, but those cracks, those imperfections, those are sources of strength and beauty."
"You may not have gotten to choose what happened to your relationship, but you do get to choose how it makes you feel—and what you do next."
"Marriage matters, in more ways than you may realize."
"Creating a relationship that can evolve is the key to making it last."
"You can form a lasting bond by putting in the work."
"Relationships are your story, write well, and edit often."
"Strong partnerships don’t appear by accident. They need attention and choice."
"You didn’t live someone else’s idea of life, you lived yours."