Party Princess Quotes
"I realize that you will never read this letter, primarily because you are dead."
"Every time self-actualization seems to be within my reach, it is cruelly snatched away by fate. Or my grandmother."
"I’m not complaining. I’m just saying…well, exactly how much does a human being have to endure before she can consider herself self-actualized?"
"I mean, just when I thought I couldn’t possibly become a bigger freak, POW! It turns out that I’m also a princess."
"The thing is, every time I think I have self-actualization on the horizon, something comes along to mess it all up."
"I'd be very interested to see how THEY would react if every single spare moment of THEIR lives was taken up by lessons in being a royal from their tattooed-eyelidded grandmother."
"Being the sole sane caretaker of my baby brother—who appears to have grave developmental problems because at ten months he still cannot walk without holding on to someone’s fingers—hasn’t helped much, either."
"Not that—according to my English teacher, Ms. Martinez, who says I have a problem with the overuse of adjectives in my descriptive essays—I’m ever going to get published."
"Do you see where I’m coming from with all of this? Every time self-actualization seems to be within my reach, it is cruelly snatched away by fate. Or my grandmother."
"No, because that is its NAME. You’re the only one who doesn’t like it."
"God, who peed in YOUR cornflakes this morning?"
"Paris Hilton is one of those women who is too pretty to live."
"What’s a party girl? You know. Like Lana. Or Paris Hilton."
"Why would you want to be like Paris Hilton, anyway????"
"WOMEN WHO ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL TO LIVE AND SHOULD BE SENT AWAY TO LIVE WITH ONE ANOTHER ON A DESERTED ISLAND SO THE REST OF US CAN STOP FEELING SO INADEQUATE"
"Détente—any international situation where previously hostile nations not involved in an open war 'warm up' to each other and threats de-escalate."
"God, it would rule if what Lana wanted was détente."
"I’ve got to stop lying to Michael and tell him the truth."
"Seriously. I mean, that shakedown in the stairwell just now—that was almost a beautiful thing."
"When you’re my age, Amelia, age becomes meaningless."
"Welcome. For those of you who don’t know me, I am Clarisse, Dowager Princess of Genovia."
"She denies it, of course. Grandmère, I mean."
"Grandmère, what do you think you’re doing, casting me in your musical?"
"I’d rather have to learn to say ‘Please pass the butter’ in fifty thousand languages than see Lilly not get the part she deserves."
"John Travolta, Antonio Banderas, Bruce Willis, Renée Zellweger, Julia Roberts… pretty much everybody there is to meet."
"Actors, when you think about it, their job is just to interpret stuff somebody else has written."
"The real power’s in the words they’re saying, which someone else has written."
"You can't blame the material. Only yourselves, from this point on."
"Going out to kill and slay is what I do every single day."
"Though all he does is rape and plunder, to me it's always been a wonder that when he's done with pillaging, it's me he turns to for his loving."
"How could someone like she ever love a poor man like me?"
"So with this braid, I make the turn, around his neck, so he may burn."