Two For The Dough Quotes
"I knew Ranger was beside me because I could see his earring gleaming in the moonlight."
"I, on the other hand, was the blue-eyed, fair-skinned product of a Hungarian-Italian union and was not nearly so cleverly camouflaged for clandestine evening activities."
"It was late October, and Trenton was enjoying the death throes of Indian summer."
"Ranger and I were squatting behind a hydrangea bush at the corner of Paterson and Wycliff."
"Kenny Mancuso had recently been charged with shooting a gas station attendant."
"Dragging Kenny back was going to net me ten percent of his $50,000 bond."
"Ranger was a genuine, cool-ass, numero-uno bounty hunter."
"I asked him to help me because I was still learning the trade and needed all the help I could get."
"His participation was in the ballpark of a pity fuck."
"I didn't feel bad about the lie since Kenny was a scumbag felon."
"The Toyota eased up at the Cape Cod and pulled into the driveway."
"The driver got out and walked to the front door."
"The front door of the house opened and the man disappeared inside."
"Ranger said it was excellent for making serious head dents."
"I religiously went to the range to practice."
"On the one occasion I'd had to shoot somebody I'd been so flustered I'd forgotten to take my gun out of my pocketbook before pulling the trigger."
"Morelli's last car had been a Jeep Cherokee."
"It had been bombed and blown to smithereens."
"Fortunately for Morelli, he hadn't been in the car at the time."
"I'd gotten the Wrangler secondhand from Skoogie Krienski."
"It was the Sahara model, painted camouflage beige."
"I dumped my black shoulder bag on the kitchen counter and got a spoon from the cutlery drawer."
"Grandma Mazur reads the obituary columns like they're part of the paper's entertainment section."
"Other communities have country clubs and fraternal orders. The burg has funeral parlors."
"I took a fast shower, blasted my hair with the hair dryer, and squashed it under a New York Rangers hat."
"My best friend since the day I was born, Mary Lou Molnar, who was now Mary Lou Stankovic."
"We were both staring at the truck, and even without a night scope we could see it had begun to rock."
"You're losing him," Morelli said. "Step on it."
"There was a loud wump, and the Wrangler bucked out of control."
"I live in a blocky three-story brick apartment building located a couple miles from my parents' house."
"My apartment is in the back of the building, on the second floor, overlooking the parking lot."
"I gave Rex a few hamster nuggets and a grape and went to bed."
"I woke up to rain slapping against my bedroom window."
"The gas station attendant he nailed in the knee got dead this morning."
"Rex was asleep in his soup can after a hard night on the wheel."
"I parked at the curb and made my way through the crowd."
"The M.E. estimates time of death at six-thirty."
"It was an old tan Fairlane sedan with an antenna wired from the trunk."
"It looked like it couldn't do 30 going uphill."
"I parked on the street and ran around the Jeep to help Grandma Mazur get out."
"She'd decided she couldn't do a good job of worming information out of Sergie Morelli in her standard-fare tennis shoes."
"If there's one thing I hate, it's a wise-ass bounty hunter."
"Grandma Mazur wouldn't be caught dead in one of these."
"I wouldn't come within fifty feet of that place."
"I don't think Spiro wants to talk about underwear."
"He can't collect on insurance without filing a police report."
"You call me pussy one more time, and I'm going to get mad."
"You have something that's mine, now I have something that's yours."
"I was just admiring his ring, feeling the smooth glass stone, and next thing I knew his finger came off in my hand."
"Maybe working with dead people does that for you. I suppose it could be peaceful once you get over the body fluids stuff."
"It's part of her job. You shouldn't take it personally."
"I always thought that was a Jewish name, but this doesn't look to me like a Jewish penis."
"The least you could do is throw in a blow job."
"That's it for me," Morelli said. "I can't take this smell anymore."
"The thing clearly had been embalmed, so the police will be checking funeral parlors."
"I quietly crept up the stairs and breathed a long sigh of relief when I was safely locked in my bedroom."
"I lay in bed, listening to people shuffle in and out of the bathroom."
"I followed my nose to coffee brewing in the kitchen."
"Morning," he said, voice even, eyes not giving up any secrets.
"If she wasn't standing there, I'd grab you and shake you until the fillings fell out of your teeth."
"You're thirty years old. You have to expect to spread when you hit thirty."
"What's wrong with your eye? It looks like it's twitching again."
"I'm not all bones. I'm fat. I can't button the top snap on my jeans."
"I've got men's clothes in my car all the time."
"Only hurts if I make a fist, and I can't do that with this big bandage on."
"When I go, I want to be cremated. No viewing."
"You're going to have to wait until hours are over. I can't leave these ghouls unsupervised."
"I don't know how you got it in, but you'll never get it out," I said. "Morelli is watching the house."
"I guess I could do that. You think it'll get boring?"
"I'm going to take a shower in my very own bathroom. I loved my bathroom."
"You're going to give me more than that, cupcake."
"You owe me nothing! If anyone is owed, it's me! I caught your cousin for you!"