The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend Quotes
"I mean seriously, where was the fun in all of this?"
"I figured Joe would get offended if I told him that one of the big"
"I thought I could escape from my problems, but I was so wrong, Bianca. No matter where you go or what you do to distract yourself, reality catches up with you eventually."
"I’m telling my husband I want a divorce on Valentine’s Day. I’m such a… a bitch. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow and—"
"But I think Valentine’s Day is more about feeling special. I think every girl deserves to feel special once in a while. Even you, Bianca."
"I’d never had such a hard time getting up in the morning, but I managed to plant my feet on the carpet eventually."
"You forget how rarely I’m alone. You aren’t the only one who finds me irresistible, Duffy. I usually have an endless flow of attractive houseguests."
"I don’t want to be with your dad anymore. I love your dad very much, but I’m not in love with him… not the way he’s in love with me."
"We both know that isn’t true. I’ve proved it to you plenty of times."
"I knew something was wrong the instant I opened my eyes the next morning."
"I felt like my world was finally spinning out of control."
"No matter where you go or what you do to distract yourself, reality catches up with you eventually."
"What you are is an intelligent, sassy, sarcastic, cynical, neurotic, loyal, compassionate girl."
"Using words like that is easier than really looking into the situation."
"It makes them feel better about their own mistakes."
"Love is rare and hard to find and takes years upon years to develop."
"I can’t compete with that. So, yeah, I’m the fucking Duff."
"I’m wasting my time even thinking that it’s possible."
"I’d kill to be your height… and to have your eyes."
"If Wesley can’t see how adorable you are, he doesn’t deserve you."
"I wish it had been more, but it wasn’t."
"Sorry doesn’t change the future. Next time, think about me."
"I kept asking and asking if you wanted to go out, and you totally blew me off."
"I’m supposed to be your best friend, you know? It felt like you just tossed me aside."
"We need you, B. And just remember that we’re here for you, and we care about you… for some ungodly reason."
"I was really lonely without you… and I didn’t have anyone cool to drive me around."
"Wesley Rush doesn’t chase girls, but I’m chasing you."
"You are the first girl who has ever seen right through me."
"You’re the only person brave enough to criticize me."
"The people who call you names are just trying to make themselves feel better."
"I’m worrying about you, and you’re fucking that pretentious little—!"
"I was so devastated by what your mother did to me that I forgot how horrible drinking is."
"A lot of people would kill for my life, but I didn’t even consider that."
"I’m not going. Why pay two hundred bucks for a dress, thirty for a ticket, forty for hair and makeup, and a handful more for dinner, where all you can have is a salad with no dressing because you have to avoid getting gunk on the poufy dress?"
"It’s nice to have a little bit of sunlight."
"I guess I just hoped it would pass. I didn’t want to worry you over nothing."
"Don’t lie to yourself because you think it’s safer. Reality doesn’t work like that."
"It’s like a two-for-one visit, isn’t it? Makes the travel time worth it."
"Remember to do what makes you happy, okay?"
"You’re finally going to admit that you love me, aren’t you?"
"We’re going to do it right. We’re going to move at the speed of a normal high school relationship."
"Nice dates. And you’re never ever going to call me Duffy again either."
"I am the Duff. But so is everyone else in the world. We’re all fucking Duffs."
"I’m not the Duff. That’s because you don’t have friends."
"I’m probably going to be a bitch most of the time."
"I’m not changing for you or anyone else."
"Escape is impossible, so why not embrace it?"