Confessions Of A Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson And Learned To Love Being Hated Quotes
"I always envy people whose detailed memories extend back to the womb."
"The earliest memory I can come up with is from when I was about three."
"My favorite number in the whole show, however, was the bizarre sequence where Captain Hook and Peter Pan chase each other around a large papier-mâché tree."
"One of the advantages to growing up in Hollywood in the 1960s was that one was allowed a great deal of latitude as far as weirdness was concerned."
"And Canadian. (New game show: Weird or Just Canadian? You Be the Judge!)"
"My father wasn’t gay. Oh yes, all of his friends were, of course. But no, not him. He was just…theatrical."
"The script soon arrived. They had all been hired to be in a new radio soap opera."
"I, of course, loved this. At that age, kids think you’re nuts when you tell them your mother is Gumby."
"This was a woman who had trouble cutting the crusts off my peanut butter sandwiches, for God’s sake."
"No, I couldn’t keep her, as she really did have her own apartment down the hall, but she did officially become my new best friend."
"It’s just that Auntie Christine is famous, and, well, you might hear about this on the news."
"The premise was children trying to figure out ‘how they get those tomatoes into the bottle.’"
"‘Yes. GET…THIS…GODDAMN TOMATO JUICE OFF OF ME!’"
"‘Read it,’ he told me. So I read the lines."
"My father greeted us not with ‘Good morning’ or ‘Welcome to our set’ or any such pleasantry one might fantasize about hearing if one were to arrive for one’s first day starring on a TV show."
"‘Yes, I do!’ Melissa squeaked. ‘I hate her, and she hates me. She tried to kill me, you know. And she’ll kill you, too, if she gets the chance!’"
"Entering it was like falling into a time warp."
"All of the equipment was the same stuff they had been using for decades."
"Makeup and hair quickly became known as a demilitarized zone."
"You were cordially invited to leave your bullshit at the door."
"Her hair was not mixed dishwater blond like mine; it was perfect, shining, yellow-white blond, like a Breck commercial."
"Gladys Witten-Coy had grown up in terrible poverty, living in two rooms with something like fourteen brothers and sisters in Appalachia."
"The makeup was much better on Little House and improved year by year."
"Whitey always carried a gold money clip... It was engraved with the words 'While I’m Still Warm—Marilyn.'"
"I realized I would have to become much more durable if this show was going to continue—and so was my hair."
"I realized that if there was even the slightest possibility that people screaming obscenities at me from balconies was going to become a regular occurrence, I had to decide right now how I was going to handle this."
"Michael Landon was one of the biggest walking bundles of contradictions I have ever met."
"He was hard not to notice. He didn’t walk. He strutted. He swaggered."
"They don’t need gum. They’re here to do a job like everyone else. They’re getting paid—they can go to the store and buy their own damn gum!"
"If you’re never asked to meet a standard, never held accountable for anything, sure, nothing’s ever your fault, but then nothing’s ever to your credit, either."
"If there was an event, I was going to it."
"They hated me so much, I made them so angry, that just the sight of me inspired them to beat me to the ground."
"People see what they want to see and believe what they want to believe. It takes very little to help them along."
"I realized at that moment, that even winning an Emmy could not provide more concrete proof of my ability to affect people as an actress."
"I have no idea what possible germs or parasites lived in it. I had to not just get in it, but put my face under the water and come up spitting."
"I learned that people's real selves always reveal themselves eventually; that those who are selfish, spoiled, and mean will age sooner and wrinkle earlier than those who are not."
"She was livid. 'Melissa! Jonathan! IF YOU DON'T FINISH YOUR DINNER RIGHT NOW, I’M GOING TO GIVE IT TO ALISON!'"
"We screamed and swore and called each other every filthy name in the book and beat the crap out of each other."
"Actors never say they’re poor. They’re always ‘broke.’ It’s always just temporary. ‘Broke’ is ‘poor with hope.’"
"I am apparently impervious to mud, duck shit, and cow shit."
"Someone I never did get to take a swing at (and would have liked to) was Melissa Sue Anderson."
"But Little House wasn’t the only war zone in my life."
"He went on about all the rocket ships and things he worked on, in very geeky detail."
"For about an hour, I felt like a regular teenager."
"NELLIE: But [Percival] likes my food; it doesn’t make him sick!"
"I Married Wyatt Earp, an 1800s period piece costarring Marie Osmond, which didn’t exactly cast me in a different light."
"Sometimes it doesn’t matter how loud you scream—nobody’s coming. The only one who can save you is you."
"I’m happy because I’ve finally realized this incredible gift I’ve been given and what I can do with it."
"I just always see the humor in situations, no matter how dark."
"People don’t just start singing it spontaneously in America, but they do in France. Loudly, slowly, reverently, in unison."
"All of us who have lived through abuse are terrified of our anger. Nellie taught me that I could be angry, and the world would not open up and swallow me."
"Fighting back and helping others actually helps."
"I’m happy, just like my dad. But unlike him, I do know why."
"Remember me with smiles and laughter, Because that’s how I’ll remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, Then don’t remember me at all."
"I don’t have anything to do with my brother now. I don’t go in for this faux forgiveness pop-psych nonsense that keeps getting foisted on incest victims."
"I succeeded because I had something going for me that the others simply didn’t. I was someone people knew, someone who had been in their living rooms."
I knew Bob was twelve years older than I was, but that didn’t concern me. He was obviously an "ex-hippie," complete with beard and ponytail.
"My father had years ago made me the enforcer of his medical directives. He had always been adamant that he did not want to be put on life support."
"I’ll buy the first pitcher of margaritas."
I was horrified to see his guests. I said, "Thom, you brought your mom? What the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea what this show is going to be like?"
"I think I’m going to need my Little Home family more than ever as the years go by, particularly given that I’ve now lost all of my real family."