Her Quotes
"The sky, through the shifting canopy of plane leaves, is still saturated with heat, and the golden air is viscous with pollen."
"I’m thinking about that exact shade of violet—wondering if I’ve got it quite right against the greens and muddy browns—when I see her."
"The sensation of it, of finding her there in front of me after all this time, is almost overwhelmingly powerful: like panic, or passion."
"Quickly I change course, walking over to the community notice board and standing in front of it, as if I’m taking an interest in yoga workshops and French conversation classes."
"I walk away across the square, not looking back, as the high scream begins."
"Without Sophie and Charles in it, the house feels exotically empty and novel, as if it barely belongs to me."
"I have a quick shower and then I make the call."
"You need a night out. You need a night off, every so often." - Nina
"The moment just before I go to sleep is often the highlight of my day: the letting go, the sense of becoming unreachable." - Emma
"Imagine having so much of it that you’d choose to shut some of it out." - Emma, about solitude
"All places have these legends." - Nina, about the bridleway
"I’m sure she isn’t just one of those wives." - Emma, about Nina
"You’re so awesome with the little ones." - Tasha, about Sophie
"Sometimes the prospect of stepping out of the rut is exhausting." - Ben
"It’s important. You need a night off, every so often." - Nina
"The house is getting cold, the evening boost long-gone from the radiators." - Narrative
"Maybe it’s meant to be." - Emma, about getting a table at Marcy’s
"Little by little, we’re inching further into the year. I should take some comfort from this, but today I feel too bleak."
"The fantasy daughter I’ve loaned to Emma is looking forward to Friday, eager for the responsibility, full of jokes and rhymes and stories."
"It’s Arnold’s fault for insisting on giving her such a lavish allowance, killing off any financial motivation she might otherwise have had."
"And yet, and yet. There’s an opportunity here for me. I feel the rightness of it. Why not? Two birds, one stone."
"The thought of pulling the plug, robbing her of all this, is quite appealing."
"This is what it comes down to: the flat-out invisible drudgery of family maintenance, the vanishing of personality as everyone else’s accrues."
"I love her for that, for the sudden doubt, the rare moment of insecurity. And I hated her, too, for the same reason."
"My walk to the studio is always valuable, whatever the weather. I like being out in the world, yet detached from it: meditative yet purposeful."
"Sometimes it felt as if Arnold, with his confidence and generosity and taste, had willed me into existence."
"The excitement of making a start, of not being held back anymore."
"I’m sitting on Christopher’s bed, legs tucked up on the spaceman duvet, when Emma appears in the doorway, slightly self-conscious, her hands in her hair."
"The tyranny of domesticity is just too strong."
"We are contemplating the effort involved in keeping these children safe and healthy and happy."
The smell of a reed diffuser ("Nantucket," perhaps, or "Provence") and lavender soap.
"In the end, because I’m out (and who is he to tell me not to?), I buy a pair of yellow socks with bumblebees on the toes for Cecily, and a pocket-sized kaleidoscope for Christopher."
I finish my wine and Charles refills my glass. "The beef’s delicious," he says, so I say it’s all Ben’s work, I can’t take the credit.
"We are all thinking about this: thinking, of course, of our own children, tucked up in darkened rooms decorated with spaceships and fairy castles, faithful constellations of glow-stars fading on the ceiling."
"Sophie’s break up soon for the holidays. Are you planning to go away?"
"A dark mirror surrounded by aching light. It’s the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen."
"You mustn’t come in here without Mummy or Daddy. That’s very important."
"The impatience of unpacking, of trying to locate the trunks and swim nappies and rash tops."
"I hear the water gushing over the lip of the pool: an infinity edge, of course."
"I flip over and float on my back for a while, considering the sky."
"You look like a marmalade, Mama. When your hair does that."
"We’ve really fallen on our feet here. I think the technical term is ‘jammy buggers.’"
"I used to know this person, I used to understand her; maybe I’ll get to know her again."
"Our damp towels slung over the balustrades."
"Even as we fill the house with our noise and clutter, we are steadily succumbing, giving in to it."
"It’s in the quiet uneventfulness of the next few days that I begin to sense her—the other me."
"I find myself thinking about home, and it’s always a shock."
"In the heat, I feel myself growing, like a plant."
"The shortcomings that we identify in the house and garden say more about us than it."
"That’s not fair. I protest, but he’s right, I find it hard to let things go."
"Strange, how our children’s present summons up our pasts."
"It’s late afternoon and we are in the little playground."
"It was everything to us: cave, priest hole, crow’s nest."
"I step outside to collect the chair cushions from the terrace."